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Selling the family home to pay for care - do I have any rights to live there?

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  • #16
    Originally posted by Sunday Girl View Post

    I've still not seen the paperwork but they say that they did set up both types of POA (Health and Welfare and Property and Finance) for us. They are well into their 80s and you are right that they seem to think that they will be at home living independently until they both magically expire one day, ignoring their worsening health and frailty and the increasing assistance that they need.

    They could be confused about this because as far as I know they firstly would have asked you and your sister if you WOULD act as their attorneys and pretty sure you would have had to sign something and I am sure you would remember doing so. I think you need to confirm this is the case and ask to see the paperwork and if it doesn’t exist then you need to sort this soon as if they start to decline and are unable to make decisions then it is a lot more complicated and very expensive to organise.

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    • #17
      Search here for existing POA https://www.gov.uk/find-someones-att...ty-or-guardian

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      • #18
        Originally posted by Sam101 View Post
        Let things settle down and chill out. It's not the time yet to try and help when they have their own mind set. The time to consider acting may be when the health problem gets to needing care, either at home or in a care home and that could still be many years away.

        Age is a funny thing, some people can look very poorly at 65 and others much later in life. I have an Aunt that moved to the Coast when she was 82 and looking like she would not last long. At 94 next birthday, although not walking well, she looks better than when she moved, so only time will tell.

        At least your questions have confirmed that you and your sister will be in a position to help if your parents reach a point that the cannot manage, which is a Plus.

        Good luck with this and if you need help in the future, do ask questions on the Forum and there are many who can help, even the oldies like me at 81 this week.

        Sam
        Unfortunately we already seem to be at that point, as despite their resistance to external help they are needing regular medical interventions and various healthcare professionals are saying that a proper care plan needs to be put in place. An old friend of theirs visited today and when leaving said to me how sad it was that they are a shadow of their former selves and are almost unrecognisable from how they were until only a few years ago. It's very sad but I'm trying to be philosophical that they have done well being fairly fit and active into their 80s and also be practical in trying to understand what might happen next as we enter the "needing care" phase of their life that they never thought would happen.

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        • #19
          You and your sister may need to have a a quiet word with their Doctors if you feel that they are needing more care and may not be capable of making their own decisions at this time.

          With the Pandemic crisis, many Doctors have not been meeting with patients and the lack of such could mean that the Doctors are not aware of their present state. Getting your parents to agree is something else, as they may still able to make their own choices .

          It is only then does the POA come to life, which is what it was designed to do.

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          • #20
            Originally posted by Sam101 View Post
            You and your sister may need to have a a quiet word with their Doctors if you feel that they are needing more care and may not be capable of making their own decisions at this time.

            With the Pandemic crisis, many Doctors have not been meeting with patients and the lack of such could mean that the Doctors are not aware of their present state. Getting your parents to agree is something else, as they may still able to make their own choices .

            It is only then does the POA come to life, which is what it was designed to do.

            Doctors will not discuss elderly parents with anybody, even a close relative, unless they have written authority from the parents or there is a Health & Welfare POA in place and a copy given to the practice.
            They are very strict about this and you have to use a password or answer security questions even when such documents are in place. Understandably so!
            SundayGirl has still not confirmed whether there is one.

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