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Hello all,
My mum is 88 and has dementia and is a care home for end of life care, since April this year. I don't think she has long left as she has a few chronic conditions.
I understand from my mum's sister, Mavis, that due to my mum's dementia that the office at XXX Lodge (an assisted housing complex run by Redbridge Council where my mum last lived and her sister still lives), always managed my mum's money for her, with access to her Post Office card account. This was the arrangement from the outset. I wrote to the manager at XXX Lodge asking for copies of the paperwork detailing the arrangements in place on my mum's behalf in May but did not hear back, but she told Mavis that there is no money left in my mum's post office account; that they just have a small amount of cash belonging to my mum of about £143. They are in possession of my mum's PO bank card and PIN number. I have some old bank statements which show that in 2018 my mum had nearly £14k in her Post Office account, and a statement dated 20 May 2019 showing a balance of £8.4k but the statements in between are missing. And now, the mnaager at XXX Lodge is saying there is no money left. My mum lived frugally, and has no assets; no insurance policies, or property or jewellery or anything of value. And she very rarely went out as she has suffered with anxiety and depression most of her life; sometimes Mavis would walk her around the block but that was pretty much it.
My mum's spending was quite tightly controlled by Oakfield Lodge. For example, my mum and Mavis had a history of buying each other something a little more expensive on their respective birthdays, by expensive I mean circa £50, and in October 2019, when my mum went to the office and asked for £50 to give to Mavis for her birthday, the manager at XXX Lodge said to the effect "that seems a lot of money to spending on someone's birthday present". When my mum gave Mavis the money she mentioned what the manager had said, and Mavis, feeling hurt and annoyed, went back to the office and returned the £50, and said she didn't want it. So that was the end of the sisters' loving exchanges on their birthdays. The main person who dealt with the money was a lady I'll call Hannah, not the manager (she just happened to be in the office on the day my mum asked for £50). Also, Mavis bought my mum's clothes for her as my mum didn't like going out, and Mavis had to provide detailed receipts for purchases before the office would reimburse her. So XXX Lodge kept records of some kind, even though now it appears they may not have any.
I have written many times to the Post Office, trying to get copy statements so I can work out where the money has gone, but they are refusing to send to me as I don't have POA (neither does XXX Lodge by the way, so the arrangement was informal), and I cannot afford to get the deputy governership thing, and no point as my mum has very little money. She has a LLoyds account in which she has £7k and looks like her pension goes in there, so that will hopefully pay for the funeral come the time. Mavis was flabbergasted when told no money left in post office account, but maybe there is a genuine reason, but on the other hand it could be that someone at XXX Lodge has had their hand in the till, so to speak. But I am totally stuck as I cna't get access to anything. MY QUESTION is do I need grant of probate once my mum dies to get access to her bank accounts and in particular historical statements, or will a death certificate be enough? I said in a previous post that Mavis and Mavis' daughter are down as executors on my mum's will but neither wants to be an executor as they have thei rown health issues. So I've got to get them to renounce their exeuctorship.
I also got a random call from redridge council a few months ago, and the woman said she was phoning to discuss the handling my mum's money and I told them the situation and the person I spoke to said XXX Lodge (which is also redbridge council ) should have receipts, and that she'd speak to the manager, but still I heard nothing. It feels like there's a cover up but what can i do to get to the bottom of everything? Even if I have to wait it would help me to know if at some point, once my dies I can get access so i can try and work out where the money has gone. Any tips and advice greatly appreciated. Thank you very much
My mum is 88 and has dementia and is a care home for end of life care, since April this year. I don't think she has long left as she has a few chronic conditions.
I understand from my mum's sister, Mavis, that due to my mum's dementia that the office at XXX Lodge (an assisted housing complex run by Redbridge Council where my mum last lived and her sister still lives), always managed my mum's money for her, with access to her Post Office card account. This was the arrangement from the outset. I wrote to the manager at XXX Lodge asking for copies of the paperwork detailing the arrangements in place on my mum's behalf in May but did not hear back, but she told Mavis that there is no money left in my mum's post office account; that they just have a small amount of cash belonging to my mum of about £143. They are in possession of my mum's PO bank card and PIN number. I have some old bank statements which show that in 2018 my mum had nearly £14k in her Post Office account, and a statement dated 20 May 2019 showing a balance of £8.4k but the statements in between are missing. And now, the mnaager at XXX Lodge is saying there is no money left. My mum lived frugally, and has no assets; no insurance policies, or property or jewellery or anything of value. And she very rarely went out as she has suffered with anxiety and depression most of her life; sometimes Mavis would walk her around the block but that was pretty much it.
My mum's spending was quite tightly controlled by Oakfield Lodge. For example, my mum and Mavis had a history of buying each other something a little more expensive on their respective birthdays, by expensive I mean circa £50, and in October 2019, when my mum went to the office and asked for £50 to give to Mavis for her birthday, the manager at XXX Lodge said to the effect "that seems a lot of money to spending on someone's birthday present". When my mum gave Mavis the money she mentioned what the manager had said, and Mavis, feeling hurt and annoyed, went back to the office and returned the £50, and said she didn't want it. So that was the end of the sisters' loving exchanges on their birthdays. The main person who dealt with the money was a lady I'll call Hannah, not the manager (she just happened to be in the office on the day my mum asked for £50). Also, Mavis bought my mum's clothes for her as my mum didn't like going out, and Mavis had to provide detailed receipts for purchases before the office would reimburse her. So XXX Lodge kept records of some kind, even though now it appears they may not have any.
I have written many times to the Post Office, trying to get copy statements so I can work out where the money has gone, but they are refusing to send to me as I don't have POA (neither does XXX Lodge by the way, so the arrangement was informal), and I cannot afford to get the deputy governership thing, and no point as my mum has very little money. She has a LLoyds account in which she has £7k and looks like her pension goes in there, so that will hopefully pay for the funeral come the time. Mavis was flabbergasted when told no money left in post office account, but maybe there is a genuine reason, but on the other hand it could be that someone at XXX Lodge has had their hand in the till, so to speak. But I am totally stuck as I cna't get access to anything. MY QUESTION is do I need grant of probate once my mum dies to get access to her bank accounts and in particular historical statements, or will a death certificate be enough? I said in a previous post that Mavis and Mavis' daughter are down as executors on my mum's will but neither wants to be an executor as they have thei rown health issues. So I've got to get them to renounce their exeuctorship.
I also got a random call from redridge council a few months ago, and the woman said she was phoning to discuss the handling my mum's money and I told them the situation and the person I spoke to said XXX Lodge (which is also redbridge council ) should have receipts, and that she'd speak to the manager, but still I heard nothing. It feels like there's a cover up but what can i do to get to the bottom of everything? Even if I have to wait it would help me to know if at some point, once my dies I can get access so i can try and work out where the money has gone. Any tips and advice greatly appreciated. Thank you very much
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