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Hello, I really hope someone can help to steer me in the right direction on this difficult and emotive subject.
My mother died in May 2017 leaving quite an estate worth a few million £.
My brother is the executor of the estate as well as a beneficiary. My sister and I are also beneficiaries. The 3 beneficiaries are entitled to one third equal share each of the estate and the Will is clear and simple.
When my mother died my brother was caring for her and lived with my mother full time in her home with his wife. It was his only residence, My mother’s home was a property worth approx £1M and was a major estate asset. The other main asset was a commercial property which generated rent on a monthly basis.
Probate was granted within a year of my mum’s death and my brother paid the tax bill in full from my mum’s cash savings funds. He refused to pay rent on the home he was living in and used estate funds to maintain the house where he was living, to buy furniture, gardening equipment etc. He also insisted we had to sell the commercial property first so he had enough money to be able to move. When my mum died, I was advised this situation would only be short term of around 6 months, so I agreed.
However, after a year and a half he was still refusing to sell either property and he hadn’t even created a full list of chattels or put a notice in the Gazette for potential creditors. I persuaded him to place the notice in the Gazette which he begrudgingly did and afterwards he said it had been a waste of time and money and I had manipulated him into doing it.
His behaviour towards me was also becoming coercive. I offered to sell on behalf of the estate some high value chattels. My brother said he was struggling with time to do it. After selling the majority for a good return only a couple of coins remained and I just couldn’t realise the amount my brother wanted for them - he wanted the insurance valuations. When I told him I couldn’t carry on because it was a. Impossible to achieve, and b. Too time consuming he angrily told me I must “come before” he and my sister and explain fully to them face to face exactly what will be taking up my time now… it was like speaking to a draconian employer. He has a history of mental health issues and they appeared to me to be rearing their heads again.
My brother also told beneficiaries at one point that we had to destroy all the copies of any estate bank statements we had been given to date because another bank account in his name had been hacked and this set off a huge alarm bell to me. Needless to say I didn’t destroy anything,
I pushed him and started to question the time it was taking and he very quickly got nasty and unfortunately my Sister for reasons unknown sided with him.
I hired a solicitor in 2019 who has been critical in forcing my brother to carry out his duties including to move out of my mother’s former home and sell both it and the commercial property. I now have received most of my share of the residual proceeds. But my brother, despite having already used a solicitor to advise him on probate and tax etc. after my mother’s death, hired a completely new solicitor to represent him.
My brother used estate funds for the fees and built up a cost to the estate totalling £50k …mostly because every time my solicitor asked that he carry out his duties we would receive a number of long retaliative ranting solicitors letters from his side before he eventually acted. Eg. It took 5 letters to get him to agree to move out of the house, we gave him an alternative to pay rent and 8 months notice but he declined. The solicitor he used in my opinion certainly viewed him as a cash cow and charged substantially more than the solicitor I have been using - more than double the cost.
During the last couple of years, my solicitor and I also found approx 40 discrepancies of varying amounts in the interim accounts my brother provided to beneficiaries. These discrepancies were differences in the inventory of transactions provided by the estate solicitor used in 2017/18 and the transactions list for the same time period provided by the new defense solicitor in 2019.
We advised a number of transactions were missing from the new paperwork inc a sum of £700 the original earlier inventory showed had been paid in error to my brother’s son and then paid back a couple of days later. The bank statements I received later after pushing showed it actually in fact hadn’t been paid back. Via his solicitor the excuse that came back was unreal - he said two much later transactions for insurance or some such were overpayment mistakes and had been mislabelled. These apparent overpayments however didn’t total the £700 taken and so he then paid the £400 odd difference and acted like I should be grateful.
My brother then started to accuse me of bullying my sister. I hadn’t been in contact with her at all but somehow me hiring a solicitor to correspond with him was vicariously bullying her, Covid hit and because the main assets were being sold now I decided to keep an eye on everything but not address the accounts again and the other discrepancies until the final accounts were provided. Also I needed to minimise my legal costs. So my solicitor didn't’t reply to any more correspondence as it was unnecessary. I kept my solicitor to oversee things but my brother stopped using his.
Now the estate has been settled, my brother is refusing to provide final accounts. He says I first have to provide him with info of all the transaction discrepancies I’ve found in interim accounts because he says they don’t exist. He has also in the past provided bank statements without a running balance so I don’t have a full picture there either, but he denies this too. He says black is white and has started to send long 20 page emails personally insulting my solicitor telling him he’s rubbish etc and should step down, - my brother is writing direct to my solicitor now without a solicitor’s help. Luckily my solicitor doesn’t charge for reading these,
So, what should I do? Is the executor within his rights to now withhold the final accounts?
My solicitor has advised we should not send info of the other discrepancies at this stage as we’’ll just get more lies and I will be even more out of pocket with the long winded back and forthing, He wants us to ignore these emails, which he says a judge would be less than impressed with, and if we don’t receive final accounts by end of July we should petition the court to get them. We’ve warned my brother we will petition the court for final accounts but his response is we don’t have a leg to stand on and my brother just keeps sending my solicitor long harassing emails…
I trust my solicitor but my brother’s actions in the face of tangible evidence make me wonder too, hence reaching out here.
Footnote:
Please bear in mind although there has not been any animosity between me and my siblings in the past we have never been close since I was a young children. There’s a big age gap and we didn’t even have each other’s main contact info until my mother died.
Also please note that my brother moving in with my mother to care for her was because his career had taken a serious nose dive. Up to this point my mother had a wonderful live in carer experienced in dementia care from a reputable agency and enough funds to pay for this care indefinitely. My brother had had 2 consecutive jobs end acrimoniously with his employers, was struggling to get a permanent job and had little choice. My mother provided him with a free home and paid a lot of his other expenses too, including his adult son’s rent on an ongoing basis. This was her choice and I have no problem with it at all, but my brother seems to think also that his post death entitlement should be more because he cared for my mother, which of course goes against her Will.
My mother died in May 2017 leaving quite an estate worth a few million £.
My brother is the executor of the estate as well as a beneficiary. My sister and I are also beneficiaries. The 3 beneficiaries are entitled to one third equal share each of the estate and the Will is clear and simple.
When my mother died my brother was caring for her and lived with my mother full time in her home with his wife. It was his only residence, My mother’s home was a property worth approx £1M and was a major estate asset. The other main asset was a commercial property which generated rent on a monthly basis.
Probate was granted within a year of my mum’s death and my brother paid the tax bill in full from my mum’s cash savings funds. He refused to pay rent on the home he was living in and used estate funds to maintain the house where he was living, to buy furniture, gardening equipment etc. He also insisted we had to sell the commercial property first so he had enough money to be able to move. When my mum died, I was advised this situation would only be short term of around 6 months, so I agreed.
However, after a year and a half he was still refusing to sell either property and he hadn’t even created a full list of chattels or put a notice in the Gazette for potential creditors. I persuaded him to place the notice in the Gazette which he begrudgingly did and afterwards he said it had been a waste of time and money and I had manipulated him into doing it.
His behaviour towards me was also becoming coercive. I offered to sell on behalf of the estate some high value chattels. My brother said he was struggling with time to do it. After selling the majority for a good return only a couple of coins remained and I just couldn’t realise the amount my brother wanted for them - he wanted the insurance valuations. When I told him I couldn’t carry on because it was a. Impossible to achieve, and b. Too time consuming he angrily told me I must “come before” he and my sister and explain fully to them face to face exactly what will be taking up my time now… it was like speaking to a draconian employer. He has a history of mental health issues and they appeared to me to be rearing their heads again.
My brother also told beneficiaries at one point that we had to destroy all the copies of any estate bank statements we had been given to date because another bank account in his name had been hacked and this set off a huge alarm bell to me. Needless to say I didn’t destroy anything,
I pushed him and started to question the time it was taking and he very quickly got nasty and unfortunately my Sister for reasons unknown sided with him.
I hired a solicitor in 2019 who has been critical in forcing my brother to carry out his duties including to move out of my mother’s former home and sell both it and the commercial property. I now have received most of my share of the residual proceeds. But my brother, despite having already used a solicitor to advise him on probate and tax etc. after my mother’s death, hired a completely new solicitor to represent him.
My brother used estate funds for the fees and built up a cost to the estate totalling £50k …mostly because every time my solicitor asked that he carry out his duties we would receive a number of long retaliative ranting solicitors letters from his side before he eventually acted. Eg. It took 5 letters to get him to agree to move out of the house, we gave him an alternative to pay rent and 8 months notice but he declined. The solicitor he used in my opinion certainly viewed him as a cash cow and charged substantially more than the solicitor I have been using - more than double the cost.
During the last couple of years, my solicitor and I also found approx 40 discrepancies of varying amounts in the interim accounts my brother provided to beneficiaries. These discrepancies were differences in the inventory of transactions provided by the estate solicitor used in 2017/18 and the transactions list for the same time period provided by the new defense solicitor in 2019.
We advised a number of transactions were missing from the new paperwork inc a sum of £700 the original earlier inventory showed had been paid in error to my brother’s son and then paid back a couple of days later. The bank statements I received later after pushing showed it actually in fact hadn’t been paid back. Via his solicitor the excuse that came back was unreal - he said two much later transactions for insurance or some such were overpayment mistakes and had been mislabelled. These apparent overpayments however didn’t total the £700 taken and so he then paid the £400 odd difference and acted like I should be grateful.
My brother then started to accuse me of bullying my sister. I hadn’t been in contact with her at all but somehow me hiring a solicitor to correspond with him was vicariously bullying her, Covid hit and because the main assets were being sold now I decided to keep an eye on everything but not address the accounts again and the other discrepancies until the final accounts were provided. Also I needed to minimise my legal costs. So my solicitor didn't’t reply to any more correspondence as it was unnecessary. I kept my solicitor to oversee things but my brother stopped using his.
Now the estate has been settled, my brother is refusing to provide final accounts. He says I first have to provide him with info of all the transaction discrepancies I’ve found in interim accounts because he says they don’t exist. He has also in the past provided bank statements without a running balance so I don’t have a full picture there either, but he denies this too. He says black is white and has started to send long 20 page emails personally insulting my solicitor telling him he’s rubbish etc and should step down, - my brother is writing direct to my solicitor now without a solicitor’s help. Luckily my solicitor doesn’t charge for reading these,
So, what should I do? Is the executor within his rights to now withhold the final accounts?
My solicitor has advised we should not send info of the other discrepancies at this stage as we’’ll just get more lies and I will be even more out of pocket with the long winded back and forthing, He wants us to ignore these emails, which he says a judge would be less than impressed with, and if we don’t receive final accounts by end of July we should petition the court to get them. We’ve warned my brother we will petition the court for final accounts but his response is we don’t have a leg to stand on and my brother just keeps sending my solicitor long harassing emails…
I trust my solicitor but my brother’s actions in the face of tangible evidence make me wonder too, hence reaching out here.
Footnote:
Please bear in mind although there has not been any animosity between me and my siblings in the past we have never been close since I was a young children. There’s a big age gap and we didn’t even have each other’s main contact info until my mother died.
Also please note that my brother moving in with my mother to care for her was because his career had taken a serious nose dive. Up to this point my mother had a wonderful live in carer experienced in dementia care from a reputable agency and enough funds to pay for this care indefinitely. My brother had had 2 consecutive jobs end acrimoniously with his employers, was struggling to get a permanent job and had little choice. My mother provided him with a free home and paid a lot of his other expenses too, including his adult son’s rent on an ongoing basis. This was her choice and I have no problem with it at all, but my brother seems to think also that his post death entitlement should be more because he cared for my mother, which of course goes against her Will.
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