ownership of ashes

[exec13]

My sister passed away 19^th July 2018 I am one of the executors to her will.

My other sister asked if she could keep her ashes at her home which I agreed.

Unfortunately she has now passed away and we were not on speaking terms.

I have requested from the executors of my second sisters estate the return to me of my first sisters ashes so that I can complete my oblgations as per her wishes to scatter the ashes where she requested, and have been given a bit of a runaround and not received them.

I would like your opinion as to whether it would be worth my while obtaining the services of a local solicitor to try to obtain the ashes as there seem to be conflicting opinions regarding the legality of ashes ownership and or custody of the ashes.

[des8]

Nobody owns a deceased's body, and probably the same applies to the ashes, although that has not been tested in court.

As executor of your first sister, you were given custody of her ashes (?) and then passed them to your second sister who has since passed away.
The second sister's executors now have custody of those ashes, which you wish to scatter as per your first sister's wishes.

Now if those wishes were expressed in her will you might have a claim worth pursuing following the case of Anstey v Mundle ((Anstey v Mundle and another [2016] EWHC 1073 (Ch)).0

However as you disposed of the ashes by giving possession to your second sister (and not as the deceased wished), I suppose her executors claim custody of the ashes is now vested in them.

All I can say is that if you employ solicitors be prepared for an enormous bill as they will have a field day arguing over this!*

[Guest]

Painful experience, I had a similar experience with our Dad, not quite the same except to say I now have no contact with a member of the family, as Des says to go to law with this will cost plenty, advise is remember the good times, and let it go.

[exec13]

Hi, thank you for the replies. Des8 I did not give posession to my second sister they were in my opinion merely on loan

[des8]

Your sister had her sister's ashes in her possession.
Are you saying this was a temporary arrangement, until you scattered them?*If so can you prove that arrangement?
Nevertheless, although you did not (could not) give ownership, you did give possession to your sister.

But whichever way you look at the situation the advice is going to be avoid getting legal unless you have deep pockets.*
*

[Bomber99]

Hi EXEC13
I would advise to contact family and ask them for the ashes so you can carry out your sisters wishes with how she wanted her ashes to be dealt with.

My own experiences in these matters were horrible and pulled my family apart. My mum passed away some 15 years ago. My mum made me promise I would scatter her ashes where my brothers had been scattered some years prior. This was known by all family members including my father. When my mother passed away her insurance did not cover the full cost of her funeral. My father would not meet the sort fall saying it was a waste of money, so my wife and I paid the extra £3250 to give my mum the funeral not only the funeral she wanted but the one she deserved. Anyway as my father signed the paperwork he was given my mother’s ashes. He would not let me have the ashes to scatter them where my mother wanted them to be scattered. He decided he was keeping them in his home as some kind of trophy. He on many occasions would say don’t forget I have your mothers ashes and I can do what I like with them. 2 years ago my father passed away and I thought I would now get my mothers ashes to finally carry out her wishes. My brother got hold of the ashes saying my farther had told him he wanted his and my mothers ashes mixing together before they were scattered. This then caused more arguments within the family because my mother had made it quite clear to all her children this was not to happen. Anyway after another year of letters and emails I eventually got my mothers ashes back and now she is at peace where she wanted to be.
So I would advise you talk with family members to solve your problems and not go through the heartbreak we did.
Wishing you good luck