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slainte caragh Thanks for your very helpful advice Callie.
Had already looked up the Advocacy scheme. Will try to put that in place as soon as we have a Solicitor instructed. (please God not A !). If it is A then we will have to make even more sure he has protection.
Its tricky with the social workers. D trusts B and so thinks she has his best interests at heart. B gets very friendly and is charming with all the carers and social workers, giving the impression she is working constantly in D's best interests. So it is always hard to get anyone to take us seriously. We did manage to convince one high placed nursing manager of B's real nature a while ago (she witnessed B's lies over a matter regarding my father's care) so we intend to try and have a meeting with her. Not sure if she will want to get involved, but we will see.
I did try to sort out one issue regarding D's care, but I needed D's permission to speak with the social worker and when I asked him, D said not to bother as B was handling it. B had told me in front of witnesses that she is not dealing with that issue, but it is hard to convince D. So it is really hard to get anywhere.
Underlying this there is always the undercurrent that B is working away, telling everyone that I, and another beneficiary are a variety of negative things, thus undermining our positions. She tried this when my father was alive, telling carers etc that we were bullying my father, in an attempt to stop us visiting (she wants to get anyone who does not agree with her removed from the family. I could give you many concrete examples of her behaviour in recent months which shows this clearly). There is always the fear that D will believe her at some point and agree to her instructions that we will not be allowed into his home. B actually told me, some months ago, that D does not want the other beneficiary in the house, even though this is not true and at the moment this beneficiary still visits and assists D, on a regular basis. But this beneficiary is very concerned that the day will come when he suddenly tells her that he no longer needs her visits.
So, the problem is, it is very hard to speak with D. If I rock the boat, he will tell B (he did this in the past) and she will use this to say I am now bullying D etc. A very delicate situation.
I suppose, reading what I have written above, I know to contact the Advocacy people and this nurse manager. And go from there.
Had already looked up the Advocacy scheme. Will try to put that in place as soon as we have a Solicitor instructed. (please God not A !). If it is A then we will have to make even more sure he has protection.
Its tricky with the social workers. D trusts B and so thinks she has his best interests at heart. B gets very friendly and is charming with all the carers and social workers, giving the impression she is working constantly in D's best interests. So it is always hard to get anyone to take us seriously. We did manage to convince one high placed nursing manager of B's real nature a while ago (she witnessed B's lies over a matter regarding my father's care) so we intend to try and have a meeting with her. Not sure if she will want to get involved, but we will see.
I did try to sort out one issue regarding D's care, but I needed D's permission to speak with the social worker and when I asked him, D said not to bother as B was handling it. B had told me in front of witnesses that she is not dealing with that issue, but it is hard to convince D. So it is really hard to get anywhere.
Underlying this there is always the undercurrent that B is working away, telling everyone that I, and another beneficiary are a variety of negative things, thus undermining our positions. She tried this when my father was alive, telling carers etc that we were bullying my father, in an attempt to stop us visiting (she wants to get anyone who does not agree with her removed from the family. I could give you many concrete examples of her behaviour in recent months which shows this clearly). There is always the fear that D will believe her at some point and agree to her instructions that we will not be allowed into his home. B actually told me, some months ago, that D does not want the other beneficiary in the house, even though this is not true and at the moment this beneficiary still visits and assists D, on a regular basis. But this beneficiary is very concerned that the day will come when he suddenly tells her that he no longer needs her visits.
So, the problem is, it is very hard to speak with D. If I rock the boat, he will tell B (he did this in the past) and she will use this to say I am now bullying D etc. A very delicate situation.
I suppose, reading what I have written above, I know to contact the Advocacy people and this nurse manager. And go from there.
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