My father is not on my birth certificate, he has dementia

[Bigal1]

My father has not been on my birth certificate since birth (unsure why) and both my parents split when i was very young.
My father has had dementia for over 10 years and has been in a care home ever since.
In those 10 years I am the only 1 to have cared and visited him his brothers/sisters, nephews/nieces have never had any interest.
Recently he had a scare and very nearly passed, and all of a sudden these relatives are creeping out of the woodwork to see what they can get.
How can i ensure that when the inevitable moment comes and my Dad passes these leeches won't take whatever he may have?
Given the choice of i'd rather it went to a dogs home than them.....
any help will be appreciated to no end.
Thank you.

[2222]

This is a very difficult time, and very upsetting. I commiserate.

Do you think there's a will?

Does he have lucid periods when he could make a will?

[Bigal1]

His mind has completely gone he may have a brief 20 seconds where he says something clear but it's gone as quick as he has said it

[Bigal1]

I do not know if he has a will as he was never one to discuss these things

[2222]

Were your parents married when you were born?

[Bigal1]

No just together

[2222]

I don't think you can do anything, I'm afraid.

The starting point would be genetic testing, but your dad cannot give consent for a sample to be taken.

[Peridot]

Hi Bigal1,

Just to clarify, are you the only child or did your father have other children? If there is a Will that refers to 'children' then the date the Will was created would be relevant. Since 1970 illegitimate children would be entitled to inherit under a Will. If the Will if it was created was post 1970 then legitimate and illegitimate children are treated equally.

As far as not being named on the birth certificate there would be a number of ways to confirm that you are his child. Does the family recognise you as his child? Has it always been known in the family? I appreciate the issue of obtaining his consent for a DNA test would be problematic currently but this may not be the case in the event he passes away and there is a dispute about your parentage. An order can be made by the Court if the family dispute you are his child. Of course this would involve making a Court application under the Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependants) Act 1975 which would have to be done within 6mths of any Grant being issued by the Probate Registry.

If your father has made a Will that doesn't include you, then there would be nothing you could do as an adult child (legitimate or not unless you were being financially supported by him). If on the other hand there is no Will then the intestacy rules would be followed which would include you as his child. If the family accept that you are his child then the question may never be raised. If not that is when you'd have to prove you were related biologically (and would need an order from the Court for testing if needs be.

Hopefully that makes things a bit clearer, basically yes you would be entitled under an intestacy and under a Will that mentions 'children' provided the Will was prepared after 1970 (with proof of parentage if needed) . If the Will is post 1970 and doesn't include you (or Children) then irrelevant of who has helped your father in the last few years it would be doubtful you have any claim.

[Peridot]

Hi again,

Just been dealing with a similar query and found this article which may be useful for you:-

It would be necessary to obtain a declaration of parentage for which the easiest option is of course DNA evidence proof. This article (not recommending the writer just handy set out like this) may help:-

https://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/special-features/how-can-add-deceased-partners-13849625

I'm not sure if any of the DNA testing labs (it needs to be a recognised lab) could give you some guidance on how to arrange for DNA collection it may be worth contacting them to ask.

[2222]

BigAl, I was trying to be tactful. (Doesn't come easy to me!) Before you go in for genetic testing, you need to think about what you will do if the results don't prove what you expect.

There has been a lot of heartache with genealogy websites which offer DNA testing. People buy the kits as a present, and sometimes the results coming back are a complete bombshell.

[Peridot]

Hi again,
Yep that is an issue 2222, which is why only recognised DNA testing companies are used for Court proceedings. Genealogy websites don't cut the mustard fortunately when dealing with Declarations of Parentage in the Family courts. The mayhem doesn't bear thinking about if they did!