Please can anyone help me?

[Amethyst]

Really, I think you are just looking for a sincere apology from Co-op and them to put a stop to their employee making comments about you/your family because of, what was when it comes down to it, DWP's mistake and Co-op's terrible handling of it since, particularly how they handled things with regards chasing your Mother in Law ( and sending her a draft court claim ) for the debt. I'm not sure, beyond what you have already received, you'll get much more of an apology over the original incident, however you should make a formal complaint to the head office regarding the employee's continued actions.

What I'm asking really, is what outcome are you looking for ?

[chocolate lover]

I think you should let it drop. Any action would need to be taken by your husband as executor. If there was money in the estate, he should have paid Coop's bill. If there wasn't he should have informed them, so they stopped chasing.

All action ahs been done by my husband and his wife-me. The judges deemed the debt died with Mary. Our local MP advised when we had gone through DWP complaints process she would deal with the COOP. I dont understand why you would say we should pay when the judge said not " Promisey promisey law ". My husband and I are appalled that it seems ok to terrorrise his 83 yr old mum in this state and now his family.

[Amethyst]

Sorry, you keep mentioning this 'Promisey Promisey law' thing - all I can think of is that the Judge was referring to this... but can't really relate it to the situation ( unless the promise that DWP would pay the funeral costs and Mary was entitled to rely on that promise )

Promissory estoppel is the legal principle that a promise is enforceable by law, even if made without formal consideration, when a promisor has made a promise to a promisee who then relies on that promise to his subsequent detriment.

Was this at the tribunal ? Do you have a ruling/judgment in writing from that tribunal ?

[chocolate lover]

Really, I think you are just looking for a sincere apology from Co-op and them to put a stop to their employee making comments about you/your family because of, what was when it comes down to it, DWP's mistake and Co-op's terrible handling of it since, particularly how they handled things with regards chasing your Mother in Law ( and sending her a draft court claim ) for the debt. I'm not sure, beyond what you have already received, you'll get much more of an apology over the original incident, however you should make a formal complaint to the head office regarding the employee's continued actions.

Hi

Yes that is just one of the letters. However we cannot get a genuine reponse from the Coop, just threats and phone calls from people that dont even know Mary/Franks name let alone where the funeral parlour is. Judge Rinders staff advised that their representative advised they would not appear on television and that the next step would be to go to small claims court. Our local mp has helped and advised us throughout this terrible time and My husband wants to proceed to small claims court if thats what it takes to get recognition from the Coop and DWP.

[Amethyst]

What would you be asking for in small claims court?

[chocolate lover]

Sorry, you keep mentioning this 'Promisey Promisey law' thing - all I can think of is that the Judge was referring to this... but can't really relate it to the situation ( unless the promise that DWP would pay the funeral costs and Mary was entitled to rely on that promise )



Was this at the tribunal ? Do you have a ruling/judgment in writing from that tribunal ?

Yes this was at the tribunal and yes I think that is what he meant as we have never been informed by the DWP to this day that they had returned the payment as shown in their RBNs. Yes we have a ruling/judgement im writing-

" Mrs Mary Etchells was sent a letter dated 04.12.2014 informing her that she was entitled to a payment of £1572.00 in respect of her claim for a funeral payment.This payment was made to the undertakers but due to an error in the account details was rejected. At some point the DWP realised the correct decision was for £432.48.

The family were not told this and the first Mary Etchells knew about the problem was when she received demands for the money from the undertaker in March 2015.This caused her immense distress. She was at that point terminally ill.

Thefamily in an attempt to protect her from the stress asked for correspondence to go to her daughter in law. The department appear unable to do this consistently.The way in which this claim has been dealt with has caused Mrs Mary Etchells and her son significant distress"

That is word for word but I can send it to you via email. He did advise that he understood the amount or their procedures were not a contention just the error and their dealing and their lack of response and acceptance or their desire to correct it.

[chocolate lover]

What would you be asking for in small claims court?

An apology and compensation for which my husband advises me to tell you was a life changing situation. Leaving him feeling as if his parents were worthless

[2222]

All action ahs been done by my husband and his wife-me. The judges deemed the debt died with Mary. Our local MP advised when we had gone through DWP complaints process she would deal with the COOP. I dont understand why you would say we should pay when the judge said not " Promisey promisey law ". My husband and I are appalled that it seems ok to terrorrise his 83 yr old mum in this state and now his family.

Whatever you may have understood, the debt did not literally die with mother in law. It became a debt of her estate. If the estate had money, it needed to pay its debts. However, if there was no money in the estate, the family is not liable.

[2222]

An apology and compensation for which my husband advises me to tell you was a life changing situation. Leaving him feeling as if his parents were worthless

You can bring a claim under the prevention from harassment act 1997. Whether you win is quite another matter. I also think you will find it very upsetting bringing the claim.

I will just add that a lot of your complaints are about things that you can't claim about. For example, Coop have no obligation to bury anyone. They are entitled to ask for their bills to be paid, whether the person they are asking is ill or not.

[Amethyst]

Who did you speak to / write to at Co-Op ? Might be worth a more formal complaint directly to the cheif exec to explain exactly what's been happening SINCE the write off and initial apology that means this is still affecting your lives.

[seduraed]

I am sorry to hear of your distress. The Co-op and DWP have acted very badly.
Get a recorder and record phone calls. Use your mobile or a diary to record incidents of harassment: you may be able to go to the police or to the head office of co-op funeral care with them.
Write to the head office and ask for a statement of account from them regarding the amount algedely owed. Make sure you have copies of any document they ask for do not sent the Co-op originals. Regarding the hand delivered letter it's obviously been lost. Write again to the branch and to head office outlining what wht problem is and solution.
That you want a written apology for bad behaviour and that the account is closed.
Send these by signed for post. Do everything in writing do not enter into conversation with them.
Go to you local community library or support centre and see if there is a bereavement advice centre show them all the documents and ask them for support .

Comeback here for more advice.

[chocolate lover]

Who did you speak to / write to at Co-Op ? Might be worth a more formal complaint directly to the cheif exec to explain exactly what's been happening SINCE the write off and initial apology that means this is still affecting your lives.

I have emailed Head Office and Sarah Pyatt head office Media enquiries after she spoke with Judge Rinders team and they just got David Knowles to ring me who works in a nearby town and he didnt know names towns or anything about the case and told me I was "stupid to got to a silly tv programme with a barrister thats not even qualified and If I had any sense I would shut up as Colin worked for the police!" I sadly did not tape the call but he was on speaker and my husband was listening to the whole call.

Judge Rinders team advised me again to email all the media representatives which I did and not one has replied, I am getting nowhere. They said the next stage was small claims court. Can I proceed on these lines?

[chocolate lover]

I am sorry to hear of your distress. The Co-op and DWP have acted very badly.
Get a recorder and record phone calls. Use your mobile or a diary to record incidents of harassment: you may be able to go to the police or to the head office of co-op funeral care with them.
Write to the head office and ask for a statement of account from them regarding the amount algedely owed. Make sure you have copies of any document they ask for do not sent the Co-op originals. Regarding the hand delivered letter it's obviously been lost. Write again to the branch and to head office outlining what wht problem is and solution.
That you want a written apology for bad behaviour and that the account is closed.
Send these by signed for post. Do everything in writing do not enter into conversation with them.
Go to you local community library or support centre and see if there is a bereavement advice centre show them all the documents and ask them for support .

Comeback here for more advice.

Thank you for your response and I will research the bereavement advice centre.I have written emails to head office and to all media representatives but they reffered me to David Knowles and then when I emailed all of them as Judge Rinders team advised, not one of them replied. I have worked for the biggest bank dealing with ombudsman and complaints and just cant get anywhere, my husband is looking to me to help him through this and desperately wants some recognition for his mum but the dwp admitted their fault finally but wont even apologise. after tribunal going through complaints process and backing of mp and the Coop are absolutely astoundingly nasty.
I am truly at a loss.

[2222]

Hi Chocolate

we we are all sympathetic, but really the Coop have mostly just been rather tactless. I'm afraid there's no law against lack of tact**. Suing over hurt feelings is just a mug's game. The law can't make you feel better.

It's just possible you'd have a case for harassment, but it's hard to tell from what you've said.

What is more, if you do take them to court, they may counterclaim for the money the estate owes them! You could end up with judgment against you.




** Just as well for me, as I'd be in terrible trouble!

[chocolate lover]

Hi Chocolate

we we are all sympathetic, but really the Coop have mostly just been rather tactless. I'm afraid there's no law against lack of tact**. Suing over hurt feelings is just a mug's game. The law can't make you feel better.

It's just possible you'd have a case for harassment, but it's hard to tell from what you've said.

What is more, if you do take them to court, they may counterclaim for the money the estate owes them! You could end up with judgment against you.




** Just as well for me, as I'd be in terrible trouble!

My husband has asked me to ask you a question." If you bought a car and paid in full receiving a receipt saying paid in full. Then 4 months later received bad debt letters and nasty phonecalls saying that you owed a further £1000.00. On contacting the garage ( Dwp) they said I dont know whats happened dont put my name to it ( confirmed on rbns) then on going through complaints procedure its their fault but they wont apologise and yet you are still receiving threats from the coop. All this at the age of 83 and just lost your husband and having treatment for stage 4 bowel cancer.

Surely this is wrong?