How to help neighbour

[rupert1977uk]

My 64 yr old neighbour has recently told me about his friends son, "who he had been helping" has been borrowing money off him.
I asked to see his bank statement for September and it turns out this lad had taken £2450 in various ways from his account. Mainly from online shopping.
Ive phoned his bank and cancelled his card and ordered previous statements for the past 12 months as I fear it could be about £20000. his mum has found out but I'm unsure if she wasn't in on it too so im lost as to how to help him get his money back. I don't think he would go to the police about it but I think we should threaten that we will go to them if the money isn't returned.
The lad has also text my neighbor asking him not to involve me or the police.
Any opinions or advice welcome.

[Amethyst]

Re: How to help neighbour

Oh dear, it's horrible when someone who was trusted takes advantage like that. How old is the lad?

Does it seem from what your neighbour has said that it's just been bits here and there he's said yes to not realising how much it was all adding up to ? or the lad has been going behind his back and just taking what he wants?

I guess this is the time the lad finds out who he is, if he's texted about not telling the police or you, then he could already be scared/panicing, so might realise what he's done and want to make amends ( I live in cuckoo land a bit ) so I think he should be given the opportunity to sort it out first ( unless it is as you fear £20k odd because that isn't things just running away with him - and to be honest £2450 over 1 month is extreme )

I do think you have done the right things ordering previous statements to find out the actual scale of the problem first, then talk to the lad and his mother, before involving the police if necessary. Is your neighbour particularly vulnerable ?

[rupert1977uk]

Re: How to help neighbour

I'd say the lad is about 18 and I think it's definitely about 20k. As he had ordered a motorbike online with the card(but reckons he has now cancelled it). Yes my neighbor is vulnerable since he is on his own since his wife died a few years back. I'm intent on getting his money back. My neighbor reckoned he had about £14000 in his bank a year ago and only gets £1250 per month pension (15000 per year) and his statement showed he had £1230 left in his bank. So over a year my neighbor pays 420 per month direct debits (5000 per year) and should have had £24000 in his account

[wales01man]

Re: How to help neighbour

Contact the Police no other way round this highly unlikely he will repay anything unless his parents agree to repay it

[rupert1977uk]

Re: How to help neighbour

To start with me and my neighbour are gonna threaten him with the police unless he gets his money back within 2 weeks.

[paulajayne]

Re: How to help neighbour

To start with me and my neighbour are gonna threaten him with the police unless he gets his money back within 2 weeks.

Cannot see that happening - but may be worth a try first.

[Amethyst]

Re: How to help neighbour

I'd say the lad is about 18 and I think it's definitely about 20k. As he had ordered a motorbike online with the card(but reckons he has now cancelled it). Yes my neighbor is vulnerable since he is on his own since his wife died a few years back. I'm intent on getting his money back. My neighbor reckoned he had about £14000 in his bank a year ago and only gets £1250 per month pension (15000 per year) and his statement showed he had £1230 left in his bank. So over a year my neighbor pays 420 per month direct debits (5000 per year) and should have had £24000 in his account

Ouch. Okay, I was being too kind. Well at 18 he is an adult, try the parents, but if they are in cohorts, or just not interested, then yes, the police should be involved. If your neighbour was unaware that the lad was taking money from him then it is simply theft. It gets more complicated if he allowed the lad to buy some things using his card and the police could well try and say it's a civil matter.

[rupert1977uk]

Re: How to help neighbour

He did give him his card once to pay for some petrol when he was his supervising driver as he only had a provisional license. He didn't say it was Ok to register his card on Amazon and jd sports and **** shop and lots of Other online shops and nesrly buying a motorbike. It's making me mad just thinking about what he has done.

[Amethyst]

Re: How to help neighbour

Or just go direct to the police. Worth giving them a call for an informal chat to ask their advice.

What did the bank say when you cancelled the card?

The bank possibly won't be liable for the loss as your neighbour gave the lad the card details originally. If you get a crime number from the police it will make it simpler to argue the case with the bank.

[rupert1977uk]

Re: How to help neighbour

Hmmmm never thought of an informal chat. I'll speak to the neighbour tomorrow. Thanks

- - - Updated - - -

The bank said the police was the option they would recommend.

- - - Updated - - -

he didn't fancy going to the police but he is coming round to the idea now if I go with him.

[Amethyst]

Re: How to help neighbour

He probably feels a bit embarrased at what's happened, so reassure him it isn't his fault at all.

[rupert1977uk]

Re: How to help neighbour

I am doing, I think that's why he is coming round to the idea of going to the police. I just thought I would give the kid a chance to do the right thing(god knows why). If it was my dad he had done it to id have probably killed him

[Amethyst]

Re: How to help neighbour

I know what you mean, I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt and expect them to feel horrible and see the error of their ways and want to try and make amends... but I'm usually disappointed. Funnily enough I was just saying about your thread to my other half, and he said what would you do if it was your parents? - answer: go to the police. lol.

Lucky he has a decent neighbour like you xx

[rupert1977uk]

Re: How to help neighbour

Thanks everyone for your replies. I'll post again tomorrow when I've seen my neighbour or have any updates.

[Tools]

Re: How to help neighbour

I'm the other half and without a shadow of a doubt, go to the Police. This is theft/fraud pure and simple, no second chances for the lad IMO I'm afraid, forget 2 weeks, unless he comes up with the whole amount before the end of the week.

I also agree with you, if it were my parents, he'd be needing a mobility scooter, not a motorbike.