Accused of stalking and banned from a shopping centre

[Stevewoodman]

Hi,
I did something a little silly, and it will sound silly when I explain it. I'm not trying to downplay the silliness. But I want to get the point across that there was innocent intent here.

I was in a shopping centre and was trying to make a fairly expensive purchase so was talking to the saleswoman for some time. The conversation drifted away from the topic and we spoke about personal things for a bit. I thought we seemed to get on. Anyway, I left my details with her because the thing I was buying had to be ordered in.

I then went for lunch, and a few minutes later, so did she, so I saw her in a queue and said hello again. A Wroxham 2 minute chat before I left, and again, I thought she seemed quite receptive. She phoned me 3 times over the next few weeks to give me an update on my order, which seemed to be unnecessary and it seemed to be quite a friendly chat.

This is where the mistake happens.

About 2 weeks later, I was visiting the shopping centre for other reasons, and it was about 5 minutes before her shop closed. In my stupid head, I thought "well, I'm here, it's only 5 minutes, I'll sit down and have a coffee, wait for her to finish, and say hello to her".

She finished work and walked towards the exit, and I walked that way too, intending to say hello, but when she saw me, she appeared to get a bit freaked out, got on her phone and hurried off.

The next day, she made a report to the shopping centre police of stalking, and they phoned me up and said they watched the CCTV and saw me waiting so they were giving me "words of advice" that I wasn't allowed any more contact of any kind, plus I was banned from the entire shopping centre for 12 months.

I do appreciate that waiting for her was unacceptable. I'm well aware that people may call that unreasonable, but I probably wasn't thinking that straight and my intentions were only good. I thought I'd get a better reaction than that. That was my mistake.

However, I do feel being called a stalker and banned feels harsh. It was not repeated behaviour, it was one time. She'd never told me to leave her only. The charts were always pleasant and not always about work things.

I also have kids (I'm separated from my wife) and the shopping centre is a very regular place for me to take the kids. Plus, I am self employed and often get contract work at that shopping centre. I have friends there I meet for lunch. The 12 month ban is a significant issue for my life.

Do you think I could get in serious trouble for this?
Could I challenge the ban?

People's opinion would be appreciated.

Thank you.

[Scot22]

I totally understand how it happened. You recognise it as a silly, not deliberate, overstepping of the mark.
A few years ago it would probably just have been shrugged off. Times have changed.
An unqualified view is that the owners can ban who they choose. However, the ban is something that could be changed.
Have you anything in writing ? Has their security the authority to make that decision ? Did you have any opportunity to put your defence ?
Perhaps it's worthwhile making contact with owners and explaining what happened.
Obviously no contact with her which might inflame the situation. I see no reason why you shouldn't be able to respectfully try to change this.

[Stevewoodman]

Thanks for your comment.

I acknowledge the silliness and acknowledge how it probably made her feel. I'm not downplaying that. I'm just saying my intention was meant to be good.

The phone call I had was from the police who said they were doing a words of advice and that was the end of their matter. But they said they were passing it to the shopping centre management and recommending a ban, which is what happened.

I could appeal to the shopping centre which I will do but in addition, I also don't really want to be on a police database as a stalker! Perhaps I'm naive but I don't feel like a stalker! I also don't want the police turning up at my door and scaring my kids or calling me those names!

Is a "words of advice" normally the end or do you think they'd turn up at my door?

What would happen if I forgot about the ban, in say 10 months, and went there? I'm guessing they use car registration or facial recognition? I'm worried I'll forget because it's honestly a habit to go there almost every day (it's a shopping centre, cinema, restaurants, etc).

[atticus]

Words of advice should be the end as long as you follow them.

[Stevewoodman]

OK thank you.

I'd assume it's not worth challenging or trying to get it off my record? I don't really want my name to be associated with stalking!

I'll deal with the shopping centre separately

[des8]

If you break the ban you are trespassing. This is a civil offence.
If you are noticed breaking the ban, all they can do is ask you to leave.
If you refuse they can then employ sufficient force to remove you.

If whilst there you break the law, eg stealing, the offence may be upgraded to burglary.

[Stevewoodman]

I wasn't thinking of breaking the ban.
My main area of complaint was the police decided it was stalking without talking to me, and a ban being issued which I think is harsh and again, without my side.
That was my issue