Sorry if this is in the wrong place but it doesnt seem to fit nearly anywhere and it's a bit long sorry.
My mum died 2 and a half years ago and I my resilience has really taken a hit following that and I do struggle to cope at times.
He has a very mild learning difficulty, this has been exacerbated by excessive substance misuse (this was in a report by a psychologist). I grew up with him being a manipulative, violent (at times) alcoholic. He would then constantly be in a cycle of giving it up and going back to it.
He caused her immense hurt and worry but she always just persisted, trying to help him and take care of him.
When my mum died she left his inheritance to be left in trust with me and my husband as the trustees, she knew that he would either give it away to various undesirables that he knew, that exploited him, or that he would drink it all.
Anyhow, without the safety net of my mother, he just completely fell apart and it shone a light on the fact he cannot take care of himself. He is now in the position of having to have carers go in to see him daily to check his various medications and help him try and live independently.
There has been a recent situation with this arrangement whereby the Council stopped paying for his care for a period, we have now settled all this. However, during this period he was telling carers and social workers that I was refusing him money for things he needed (he never even asked me), telling me his carers were treating him badly (I spent so much time fighting his case over this), only to then find out its all bullshit.
Like I said earlier, since my mum died I don’t have the resilience to cope with things like I used to and trying to fight his corner against all the things he has been alleging, has been exhausting (I also live 240 miles away, have a stressful full time job and my own family), and then to find out that not only is it all lies, but he has also been lying about me, is just too much.
The lie about me withholding his money almost saw me investigated for financial abuse. I work with vulnerable young people and this could have cost me my job.
Over the last two years he has caused me so much pain and hurt and stress and now this.
We recently had a meeting with social care and discovered he had given all his money out of his current account to his "mate". He is basically being exploited again.
Social care are going to do another capacity assessment and apply for an appointee to take care of money, except they say that as his trust was set up as my mums will they cant also take care of this.
Is this true? If so can I look into deputyship?
I have resigned all responsibility for his care, but I feel I need to cut all financial ties or I am still at risk of more lies or accusations.
He has no one else to take care of this so what are my options?
My mum died 2 and a half years ago and I my resilience has really taken a hit following that and I do struggle to cope at times.
He has a very mild learning difficulty, this has been exacerbated by excessive substance misuse (this was in a report by a psychologist). I grew up with him being a manipulative, violent (at times) alcoholic. He would then constantly be in a cycle of giving it up and going back to it.
He caused her immense hurt and worry but she always just persisted, trying to help him and take care of him.
When my mum died she left his inheritance to be left in trust with me and my husband as the trustees, she knew that he would either give it away to various undesirables that he knew, that exploited him, or that he would drink it all.
Anyhow, without the safety net of my mother, he just completely fell apart and it shone a light on the fact he cannot take care of himself. He is now in the position of having to have carers go in to see him daily to check his various medications and help him try and live independently.
There has been a recent situation with this arrangement whereby the Council stopped paying for his care for a period, we have now settled all this. However, during this period he was telling carers and social workers that I was refusing him money for things he needed (he never even asked me), telling me his carers were treating him badly (I spent so much time fighting his case over this), only to then find out its all bullshit.
Like I said earlier, since my mum died I don’t have the resilience to cope with things like I used to and trying to fight his corner against all the things he has been alleging, has been exhausting (I also live 240 miles away, have a stressful full time job and my own family), and then to find out that not only is it all lies, but he has also been lying about me, is just too much.
The lie about me withholding his money almost saw me investigated for financial abuse. I work with vulnerable young people and this could have cost me my job.
Over the last two years he has caused me so much pain and hurt and stress and now this.
We recently had a meeting with social care and discovered he had given all his money out of his current account to his "mate". He is basically being exploited again.
Social care are going to do another capacity assessment and apply for an appointee to take care of money, except they say that as his trust was set up as my mums will they cant also take care of this.
Is this true? If so can I look into deputyship?
I have resigned all responsibility for his care, but I feel I need to cut all financial ties or I am still at risk of more lies or accusations.
He has no one else to take care of this so what are my options?
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