Child Contact Order - 3 years in Process - deflated, what is my options

[Hmeah]

I've not seen my son for 4 years, he is now 10 years old
Tried to go medication twice with the ex-partner, the 2nd time I started the child contact order process
The mother put in order for no molestation the following day, alligations dating back to 2010-2012, this is the first time.
I agreed to undertaking to the non-molestation order (wish I hadn't now)
contact court order referred to CAFCASS, they did their report and gave me 5 contact sessions supervised, son only attended 1 and when I walked in he ran out.
Cafcas report said mother is a barrier, then was referred to NYAS and now the judge has put a fact-finding court hearing as ex partnerkeeps saying about the allegations from back in 2010-12

I'm at my wit's end, I've not started the statement for myself, as when I read what is being said it just breaks my heart and I can't force myself to start writing and trying to combat her and the lies, I have not seen son and this process was about him but its turned into about the ex-partner, I have spent 8k on the non-molestation for lawyers and barrister and have no more money.

What happens if I just want to give up now? can I get the court date or hearing cancelled? it's down for 15 July and I just don't have the mental mind frame and capacity to deal with this and it just gives me sleepless nights thinking about it and impacting my health and mind.

[EnglandPi]

Did you attend the court hearing on the 15th July? How did it go? Are you OK?

[taz_in_2001]

I am intrigued at how your fact finding hearing went as I have just helped a friend out with his.
I hope all went well

[Ronald1988]

Hey you’re not alone I’m going through a similar situation and have spent loads on lawyers already , my son is nearly 1 years old and I have not seen him since January 2023 .
I met my ex partner a few years back we was getting along but while I was in the relationship she was very controlling and times when I didn’t listen to her or went back to my mothers house she would call police make up false allegations and get me arrested. It went on like this for a bout 2 years even after we had the baby, I broke up with her in November and was planning to seek legal advice on how to have contact with my son but she kept pestering my family members and friends and let me see him on Xmas day. After all this she had a drug a drinking habit which I explained in court but she passed the drug test some how most likely by bleaching her hair .
I’m struggling now as the abuse has destroyed my business and mental health. In my last hearing the judge granted me 1 hour a week contact via new leaf which now she has not agreed to and made up false allegations again to use it as an excuse. I’m sick and tired of this and don’t know what to do anymore. Funny thing is I have provided police with evidence of her abuse towards me and they have not done anything but on other hand when she makes allegations they come and arrest me . This is becoming a problem for my mental state and I have given up all hope in the system . The uk government is no way near supporting men the way women get support and know how to use the system to keep on abusing fathers across the country . I have another court date which will cost me a lot of legal fee I’m lucky to have good family members who are supportive and helping me pay for it but how long can they help. All I want is to see my son.
She can lie and get away with it all the time and I’m saying the honest thing and no one is believing me.