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Hi everyone,
I am looking for some advice. My daughter (6) has reported my wife to the school for hitting her on two occasions recently, and the school Child Welfare Officer contacted me on both occasions. The first time it looked like she had slapped her in the head for not getting her shoes on fast enough, and the second time, 2 weeks later, it appeared that she had repeatedly punch her in the head for the same thing. My daughter acted out how it had happened on a Teddy for the Child Welfare Officer, but my wife apparently denied everything. Social services got involved after the 2nd incident, phoned me and said they were not happy with the children (there is also a 2 year old boy) staying with their Mum, so they are currently staying with me. None of this surprises me because my wife was violent and abusive towards me for 8 years until we separated almost exactly 1 year ago. It wasn't my choice for the children to go and live with her, she just took them and refused to discuss it. I did manage to persuade her to let me look after them at the weekend and some school holidays, but when she is unhappy about something or wants something, her weapon of choice is refusing me access. There is quite a lot of background to this but I will try to keep it brief.
This Wednesday, 1 week after the 2nd incident, I phoned up Social Services to see what was going on and it seems like my wife is bringing up some old (false) domestic abuse allegations against me. I don't know if she is trying to use this as mitigating circumstances (i.e. she is mentally unbalanced because of that) or what. Social Services mentioned that my wife had been referred to an organisation called 'The Wish Centre' http://www.bddwa.org/ and they had assessed her and come to the conclusion that she was a victim in the past and I was the 'perpetrator'. How they managed to come to that conclusion is staggering. The only time I've ever spoken to that organisation was back in 2015 after I'd reported her to the police for domestic violence. On that occasions I told them I was ok, but that my wife had a violent temper and mental health problems, so could they please help her? They told me 'we only help the victim'. On Weds, Social Services also asked me if I thought it would be safe for the children to go back to their Mum's house and I said definitely not..
Now I come to specifically what I need advice on. It worries immensely me that Social Services obviously place some weight on what this 'Wish Centre' are saying. They work closely with the local authority so they have some credibility on paper. What they have said could presumably be used as evidence in any future legal/court case over the children. It is clear that that organisation has not considered much evidence, if any. They also have a financial interest in declaring women the victim and men the perpetrator because most of their services (housing/shelters etc.) are funded by the Local Authority, but only available to Women. The one and only service which is only available to men is 'Perpetrator work' !!! You couldn't make this stuff up.. Treating my Wife as a Victim is just going to make things worse for everyone. She's not getting the right treatment, and the Children are more likely to be returned to her to face more abuse. So I want to challenge them in some way, but I don't want to annoy Social Services too much because if they turn against me I'll have real problems. Should I for example:
- Make a complaint to this 'Wish Centre'
- Make a complaint to the LA
- Make a complaint to Social Services
- Sue 'The Wish Centre' for defamation (would that be possible?)
- all or none of the above/something else
Could anyone also suggest a good solicitor who could help me with this kind of thing in the North West
Thanks a lot,
Dave
I am looking for some advice. My daughter (6) has reported my wife to the school for hitting her on two occasions recently, and the school Child Welfare Officer contacted me on both occasions. The first time it looked like she had slapped her in the head for not getting her shoes on fast enough, and the second time, 2 weeks later, it appeared that she had repeatedly punch her in the head for the same thing. My daughter acted out how it had happened on a Teddy for the Child Welfare Officer, but my wife apparently denied everything. Social services got involved after the 2nd incident, phoned me and said they were not happy with the children (there is also a 2 year old boy) staying with their Mum, so they are currently staying with me. None of this surprises me because my wife was violent and abusive towards me for 8 years until we separated almost exactly 1 year ago. It wasn't my choice for the children to go and live with her, she just took them and refused to discuss it. I did manage to persuade her to let me look after them at the weekend and some school holidays, but when she is unhappy about something or wants something, her weapon of choice is refusing me access. There is quite a lot of background to this but I will try to keep it brief.
This Wednesday, 1 week after the 2nd incident, I phoned up Social Services to see what was going on and it seems like my wife is bringing up some old (false) domestic abuse allegations against me. I don't know if she is trying to use this as mitigating circumstances (i.e. she is mentally unbalanced because of that) or what. Social Services mentioned that my wife had been referred to an organisation called 'The Wish Centre' http://www.bddwa.org/ and they had assessed her and come to the conclusion that she was a victim in the past and I was the 'perpetrator'. How they managed to come to that conclusion is staggering. The only time I've ever spoken to that organisation was back in 2015 after I'd reported her to the police for domestic violence. On that occasions I told them I was ok, but that my wife had a violent temper and mental health problems, so could they please help her? They told me 'we only help the victim'. On Weds, Social Services also asked me if I thought it would be safe for the children to go back to their Mum's house and I said definitely not..
Now I come to specifically what I need advice on. It worries immensely me that Social Services obviously place some weight on what this 'Wish Centre' are saying. They work closely with the local authority so they have some credibility on paper. What they have said could presumably be used as evidence in any future legal/court case over the children. It is clear that that organisation has not considered much evidence, if any. They also have a financial interest in declaring women the victim and men the perpetrator because most of their services (housing/shelters etc.) are funded by the Local Authority, but only available to Women. The one and only service which is only available to men is 'Perpetrator work' !!! You couldn't make this stuff up.. Treating my Wife as a Victim is just going to make things worse for everyone. She's not getting the right treatment, and the Children are more likely to be returned to her to face more abuse. So I want to challenge them in some way, but I don't want to annoy Social Services too much because if they turn against me I'll have real problems. Should I for example:
- Make a complaint to this 'Wish Centre'
- Make a complaint to the LA
- Make a complaint to Social Services
- Sue 'The Wish Centre' for defamation (would that be possible?)
- all or none of the above/something else
Could anyone also suggest a good solicitor who could help me with this kind of thing in the North West
Thanks a lot,
Dave
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