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Seeking Advice
Good Afternoon,
I am wondering if there is anyone who may be able to assist me with some advice? This will be a long post so I appreciate those who take the time to read and offer advice. For those wanting to see a brief of the situation go straight to the summary of the situation.
First a bit of a background of myself and my relationship.
I have been in a relationship with my wife for ten years, married for ten years and we have two fantastic boys together aged two years and the other 7 months. Our relationship has always been fantastic and superb full of laughs and love and I have always attempted to do my best to provide and care for my family, I work in the security industry as I value the protection safety and security of others as well as my family. I am known for often working long hours and going above and beyond to ensure all tasks are completed to the highest quality all so that I can provide the best quality of life to my wife and children. I always put myself last before their needs and wants in order to provide them with a happy and loving home and stable environment, I would also work so that my wife never had to as I always wanted for her to have the ability to be a stay at home Mum to our two boys.
In August 2017 I started to suffer from having blackouts that were caused by Dissociative Seizures that was brought upon due to suffering depression anxiety and severe stress, this would cause me to suffer with memory loss and an impairment to my cognitive behavior. The blackouts stopped in October 2017 and I attempted to make a return to work in January 2018 after having been told that I should be clear to work, However during this time I sensed that something was amiss with my wife as she would constantly begin to tell me that I was mentally ill and even went as far as calling MIND a specialist organisation that deals with adult mental health, who advised that I could potentially suffer from Dissociative Identity Disorder and Dissociative Amnesia. As my wife would continue to push that she believed I was mentally ill and having issues with my cognitive behavior still I would begin to believe I was. She would then later try and push this decision upon my GP and psychiatrist who both stated to my wife that they believed I was only suffering from depression, and that the moments of unresponsiveness, memory loss and, rapid mood swings I had been experiencing since January 2018 were caused by this, they would both then reassure my wife that I was not mentally ill and that I once my mood would improve my memories would return and I would start acting like normal.
Now that I have given a brief overview of my health and myself as a person I will start to explain what has happened and what I am seeking advice with.
First, the incident that caused my dilemma. On February 17th, 2018 I was left at home alone to care for my sons while my wife went to the dentist. She was out of the house in total for around six hours, visiting my Mum in her salon and even expressing to another hairdresser that she had no concerns about me being alone with the children as she had FaceTime called me and could see everything was fine at home. When she returned home she asked me to go to the shop to purchase some items for dinner, however, my card was declined and I was unable to make the purchase. This then led to myself having an episode of a rapid mood swing which caused me to become overly frustrated and angry. I returned home after standing outside of the shop attempting to call my wife to try and calm me down, to which she did not answer. Upon returning home I walked to an isolated area of the house and in frustration of feeling like a failure and let down to my family due to being unable to provide, I punched a door and drawer in anger. None of which was directed at my wife or children. My wife would then leave the house with my sons and go to my Mum's house, I would later then attend in order to try and speak to my wife having calmed down and want to apologize for my rapid mood swing. Instead, my wife decided to scream and shout at me to leave and had called her Mum to come down from Stoke on Trent. I would leave the house and return home to collect my thoughts in the hope she would call me to resolve the issue. I would then be informed that my wife had one of her sister's friends enter my Mum's house to take my children out of the house kicking and screaming along with my wife who would shout at my family that I was mentally unstable. This incident would then cause my head to, as I would term "click" into place, forcing me to start regaining my cognitive behavior as I realised that I needed to fight for my family. I would eventually locate my wife in an attempt to calm her down and talk to her and resolve the issue, instead my wife called the Police claiming domestic abuse. Now as I am as a person I do not condone domestic abuse and would always stand up for those wronged by such a situation, as is my moral code. I love my wife and children dearly and would do anything to protect them from harm. The Police arrived on site to a calm and collected environment, no violence or intimidation and took statements from everyone present, I would then go to my Mum's and spend the night there and my wife would return home with the children. My wife would explain even in front of the Police that she was not going to take the children away, even after the Police questioned her when she said she was going to stay in a hotel, but did not have a room booked or even what hotel she was going to, which even the Police deemed suspicious.
Now, this is where I need advice.
I returned home on the morning of February 18th at 08:00 having followed the advice of the Police to not contact her overnight and to return home and speak with her. I would then find that my house was empty and wife had left with the children. My neighbor said they saw her leave at around 03:00 as they were disturbed by the noise of her leaving the house. This left me devastated and caused me to spiral into a deeper depression. I reflected on my life with my wife over the last 10 years and found that she had actually made me a victim of domestic abuse through emotional, psychological, financial and sexual abuse. I reported this to the Police and my GP and immediately started to seek legal aid. I attempted to contact my wife to resolve the situation and get her to return home, I had no reply from her until she emailed making demands of what she wanted from the house. My wife would then say to me that my thinking that I would see my children again would be decided in the future and that I was "Really jumping the gun". Every time that I have attempted to make contact regarding my sons have left me with no answer and my wife has blocked all forms of contact with myself except for email. Her entire family has also blocked all contact and are refusing my rights to see or speak to my children and as they are now 300 miles away in Stoke on Trent.
I have applied to the court for a Child Arrangement Order to have my children returned home as they have been taken on false pretenses my wife claiming that I am mentally unstable, volatile and violent. I have the evidence to disprove her claims of domestic abuse as her sworn affidavit to the court is wildly outlandish and she has taken incidents where she made myself a victim and has embellished and twisted the truth in order to make herself the victim. My wife has since had a Non-Molestation order served on me which is how I have seen her affidavit and is refusing all of my rights to my children and the children's rights to see myself. She has applied for housing in Stoke on Trent even though she has the housing with me after making herself intentionally homeless, she would not attempt mediation and has gone directly to CSA while not attempting to speak with me in order to make payments for the children between ourselves.
I am concerned for the welfare of my children as my wife was alone in the house with the children the night she "fled" while she was waiting for her parents to arrive. During the three hours she was alone she did not pack any of the essentials to take for the children even though she had adequate time to do so, and the Police would have advised her on what to take if she was fleeing. She left the children's birth certificates their clothes her clothes. She did, however, take her Grandmother's wedding ring which was of sentimental value to herself even though this would not have been essential to take with her. Too also further impact my concerns she has taken our children to live with her Mother and Step-Father and Sister, her Mother who is classed as disabled and her Step-Father who she accused of attempting to sexually molest her when she was a teenager on multiple occasions along with her sister. I have also seen first hand how manipulative controlling and abusive he is towards my wife and her sister and I do not feel that my children are safe to be around the man. Social Services and the Police conducted welfare checks but deemed the children at no risk as my wife denied her allegations of sexual abuse when she was a teenager.
I am due to attend court on the 23rd of March in order to contest the non-molestation order that was served on myself and I have a solicitor that I will be seeing to present my case.
To summarise for those who did not read the entirety of my post, what I am seeking advice with is the following.
My wife fled the family home on false grounds of domestic abuse taking the children with her using situations in which I was the victim to present to the court in her sworn affidavit. She has attempted to secure herself housing on these false pretenses and claim benefits, and I have the evidence to disprove her claims. My wife has had a Non-Molestation Order served on me using these false pretenses and is also using this to prevent me from having any access towards my children.
What could potentially happen in court considering I have the evidence to prove myself as the victim of domestic abuse, which includes her falsifying the truth in order to refuse my rights as a parent in obtaining a Non-Molestation Order? Will I be able to have the Non-Molestation Order removed due to her false allegation and have my parental rights reinforced so that I can have open access and communication with my sons again?
I have tried everything within my power to talk and resolve this with my wife, but she acted very quickly in her application to the council for housing for benefits and to the courts for her order against me so quickly, in fact, this all seems pre-planned. Granted she can possibly back her claims of harassment as I did send a lot of messages in an attempt to speak with her, but I stopped as of last Friday before the order was served on myself. I have not been threatening or nasty towards her in any of the messages, merely pleading with her to speak to me to resolve the issues so that we can continue as a family to which she is claiming that I am attempting to manipulate her.
My health has also seen a dramatic improvement in the last two weeks as my cognitive behavior has returned, I am recalling memories that were lost during the blackouts and episodes of unresponsiveness due to high levels of stress, I am medicating on 200mg of Sertraline and 25mg of pregabalin to help with my anxiety and depression. I am also seeing a therapist in order to resolve my issues with having been a victim of domestic abuse. My GP and psychiatrist have confirmed that I am no threat to others or myself and that I am no mentally ill. I also have friends with both myself and my wife who saw us on a regular basis that are capable of providing character references that shows how I am as a person a husband and a father that have never seen my wife ever show signs of fear towards myself.
Any advice and opinions on the situation are very much appreciated and I welcome people's input regarding this.
I am wondering if there is anyone who may be able to assist me with some advice? This will be a long post so I appreciate those who take the time to read and offer advice. For those wanting to see a brief of the situation go straight to the summary of the situation.
First a bit of a background of myself and my relationship.
I have been in a relationship with my wife for ten years, married for ten years and we have two fantastic boys together aged two years and the other 7 months. Our relationship has always been fantastic and superb full of laughs and love and I have always attempted to do my best to provide and care for my family, I work in the security industry as I value the protection safety and security of others as well as my family. I am known for often working long hours and going above and beyond to ensure all tasks are completed to the highest quality all so that I can provide the best quality of life to my wife and children. I always put myself last before their needs and wants in order to provide them with a happy and loving home and stable environment, I would also work so that my wife never had to as I always wanted for her to have the ability to be a stay at home Mum to our two boys.
In August 2017 I started to suffer from having blackouts that were caused by Dissociative Seizures that was brought upon due to suffering depression anxiety and severe stress, this would cause me to suffer with memory loss and an impairment to my cognitive behavior. The blackouts stopped in October 2017 and I attempted to make a return to work in January 2018 after having been told that I should be clear to work, However during this time I sensed that something was amiss with my wife as she would constantly begin to tell me that I was mentally ill and even went as far as calling MIND a specialist organisation that deals with adult mental health, who advised that I could potentially suffer from Dissociative Identity Disorder and Dissociative Amnesia. As my wife would continue to push that she believed I was mentally ill and having issues with my cognitive behavior still I would begin to believe I was. She would then later try and push this decision upon my GP and psychiatrist who both stated to my wife that they believed I was only suffering from depression, and that the moments of unresponsiveness, memory loss and, rapid mood swings I had been experiencing since January 2018 were caused by this, they would both then reassure my wife that I was not mentally ill and that I once my mood would improve my memories would return and I would start acting like normal.
Now that I have given a brief overview of my health and myself as a person I will start to explain what has happened and what I am seeking advice with.
First, the incident that caused my dilemma. On February 17th, 2018 I was left at home alone to care for my sons while my wife went to the dentist. She was out of the house in total for around six hours, visiting my Mum in her salon and even expressing to another hairdresser that she had no concerns about me being alone with the children as she had FaceTime called me and could see everything was fine at home. When she returned home she asked me to go to the shop to purchase some items for dinner, however, my card was declined and I was unable to make the purchase. This then led to myself having an episode of a rapid mood swing which caused me to become overly frustrated and angry. I returned home after standing outside of the shop attempting to call my wife to try and calm me down, to which she did not answer. Upon returning home I walked to an isolated area of the house and in frustration of feeling like a failure and let down to my family due to being unable to provide, I punched a door and drawer in anger. None of which was directed at my wife or children. My wife would then leave the house with my sons and go to my Mum's house, I would later then attend in order to try and speak to my wife having calmed down and want to apologize for my rapid mood swing. Instead, my wife decided to scream and shout at me to leave and had called her Mum to come down from Stoke on Trent. I would leave the house and return home to collect my thoughts in the hope she would call me to resolve the issue. I would then be informed that my wife had one of her sister's friends enter my Mum's house to take my children out of the house kicking and screaming along with my wife who would shout at my family that I was mentally unstable. This incident would then cause my head to, as I would term "click" into place, forcing me to start regaining my cognitive behavior as I realised that I needed to fight for my family. I would eventually locate my wife in an attempt to calm her down and talk to her and resolve the issue, instead my wife called the Police claiming domestic abuse. Now as I am as a person I do not condone domestic abuse and would always stand up for those wronged by such a situation, as is my moral code. I love my wife and children dearly and would do anything to protect them from harm. The Police arrived on site to a calm and collected environment, no violence or intimidation and took statements from everyone present, I would then go to my Mum's and spend the night there and my wife would return home with the children. My wife would explain even in front of the Police that she was not going to take the children away, even after the Police questioned her when she said she was going to stay in a hotel, but did not have a room booked or even what hotel she was going to, which even the Police deemed suspicious.
Now, this is where I need advice.
I returned home on the morning of February 18th at 08:00 having followed the advice of the Police to not contact her overnight and to return home and speak with her. I would then find that my house was empty and wife had left with the children. My neighbor said they saw her leave at around 03:00 as they were disturbed by the noise of her leaving the house. This left me devastated and caused me to spiral into a deeper depression. I reflected on my life with my wife over the last 10 years and found that she had actually made me a victim of domestic abuse through emotional, psychological, financial and sexual abuse. I reported this to the Police and my GP and immediately started to seek legal aid. I attempted to contact my wife to resolve the situation and get her to return home, I had no reply from her until she emailed making demands of what she wanted from the house. My wife would then say to me that my thinking that I would see my children again would be decided in the future and that I was "Really jumping the gun". Every time that I have attempted to make contact regarding my sons have left me with no answer and my wife has blocked all forms of contact with myself except for email. Her entire family has also blocked all contact and are refusing my rights to see or speak to my children and as they are now 300 miles away in Stoke on Trent.
I have applied to the court for a Child Arrangement Order to have my children returned home as they have been taken on false pretenses my wife claiming that I am mentally unstable, volatile and violent. I have the evidence to disprove her claims of domestic abuse as her sworn affidavit to the court is wildly outlandish and she has taken incidents where she made myself a victim and has embellished and twisted the truth in order to make herself the victim. My wife has since had a Non-Molestation order served on me which is how I have seen her affidavit and is refusing all of my rights to my children and the children's rights to see myself. She has applied for housing in Stoke on Trent even though she has the housing with me after making herself intentionally homeless, she would not attempt mediation and has gone directly to CSA while not attempting to speak with me in order to make payments for the children between ourselves.
I am concerned for the welfare of my children as my wife was alone in the house with the children the night she "fled" while she was waiting for her parents to arrive. During the three hours she was alone she did not pack any of the essentials to take for the children even though she had adequate time to do so, and the Police would have advised her on what to take if she was fleeing. She left the children's birth certificates their clothes her clothes. She did, however, take her Grandmother's wedding ring which was of sentimental value to herself even though this would not have been essential to take with her. Too also further impact my concerns she has taken our children to live with her Mother and Step-Father and Sister, her Mother who is classed as disabled and her Step-Father who she accused of attempting to sexually molest her when she was a teenager on multiple occasions along with her sister. I have also seen first hand how manipulative controlling and abusive he is towards my wife and her sister and I do not feel that my children are safe to be around the man. Social Services and the Police conducted welfare checks but deemed the children at no risk as my wife denied her allegations of sexual abuse when she was a teenager.
I am due to attend court on the 23rd of March in order to contest the non-molestation order that was served on myself and I have a solicitor that I will be seeing to present my case.
To summarise for those who did not read the entirety of my post, what I am seeking advice with is the following.
My wife fled the family home on false grounds of domestic abuse taking the children with her using situations in which I was the victim to present to the court in her sworn affidavit. She has attempted to secure herself housing on these false pretenses and claim benefits, and I have the evidence to disprove her claims. My wife has had a Non-Molestation Order served on me using these false pretenses and is also using this to prevent me from having any access towards my children.
What could potentially happen in court considering I have the evidence to prove myself as the victim of domestic abuse, which includes her falsifying the truth in order to refuse my rights as a parent in obtaining a Non-Molestation Order? Will I be able to have the Non-Molestation Order removed due to her false allegation and have my parental rights reinforced so that I can have open access and communication with my sons again?
I have tried everything within my power to talk and resolve this with my wife, but she acted very quickly in her application to the council for housing for benefits and to the courts for her order against me so quickly, in fact, this all seems pre-planned. Granted she can possibly back her claims of harassment as I did send a lot of messages in an attempt to speak with her, but I stopped as of last Friday before the order was served on myself. I have not been threatening or nasty towards her in any of the messages, merely pleading with her to speak to me to resolve the issues so that we can continue as a family to which she is claiming that I am attempting to manipulate her.
My health has also seen a dramatic improvement in the last two weeks as my cognitive behavior has returned, I am recalling memories that were lost during the blackouts and episodes of unresponsiveness due to high levels of stress, I am medicating on 200mg of Sertraline and 25mg of pregabalin to help with my anxiety and depression. I am also seeing a therapist in order to resolve my issues with having been a victim of domestic abuse. My GP and psychiatrist have confirmed that I am no threat to others or myself and that I am no mentally ill. I also have friends with both myself and my wife who saw us on a regular basis that are capable of providing character references that shows how I am as a person a husband and a father that have never seen my wife ever show signs of fear towards myself.
Any advice and opinions on the situation are very much appreciated and I welcome people's input regarding this.
