Where to start??

[GulDukat]

Hi everyone,

I'll skip the background of how this all happened but basically it's looking like my wife and I are headed for a divorce.

I have been advised to get a solicitor, which I can only do in a couple of months because I need to save some money first. I will do this but wondered if anyone can tell me roughly how this might pan out.

A few years ago I put my wife on the deeds of the house so she's 50% owner, so I'm expecting that in the event of divorce she is going to want to sell the house and get her share, or I'm guessing I could buy her out. However in the event of a sale I would not expect to meeting all the costs of the sale. I would want her to meet 50% of those costs.

Aside from that I don't have any assets other than what's in my bank account which isn't much at all. I have a personal pension in the UK, but I'm not expecting that to be affected by divorce, right?

So in terms of how this divorce is going to work, the messy bit is just the house sale isn't it? It's a rented house in the UK and we live overseas currently.

At the point of divorce will my wife get half of everything in my bank account? How does that normally work?

Does anyone know how much a solicitor might cost to get me through this, if I need one? I'm guessing I do.

Right now my wife and I have not agreed to divorce, but I see it as very likely. When we agree I want to be pre-armed with some information.

Thanks in advance!

[ostell]

Re: Where to start??

So yes she will be entitled to half the house. It's seems fair that she should meet half the costs of doing this but divorce is not fair and you may find you get more of the cost then you envisaged. Yes, you may have to give her some of your assets, 50% is not cut and dried. The bad news is that your pension would also be affected and she would be entitled to a portion of it. The amount would be determined by the court.

Yes it will cost you solicitors fees. To keep costs low then you and your soon to be ex wife must agree beforehand what you each want and then present that to the court as an agreement. The judge may disagree and vary but it does keep the costs down.

[GulDukat]

Re: Where to start??

So yes she will be entitled to half the house. It's seems fair that she should meet half the costs of doing this but divorce is not fair and you may find you get more of the cost then you envisaged. Yes, you may have to give her some of your assets, 50% is not cut and dried. The bad news is that your pension would also be affected and she would be entitled to a portion of it. The amount would be determined by the court.

Yes it will cost you solicitors fees. To keep costs low then you and your soon to be ex wife must agree beforehand what you each want and then present that to the court as an agreement. The judge may disagree and vary but it does keep the costs down.

The house sale costs would be tolerable, so no disaster. Bad news indeed on the pension. The only upside is it's not a huge pension so I don't feel so bad about starting it up late now.

So it sounds like my wife and I need to agree what we want beforehand. If we assume the courts will carve up the pension themselves (no idea how they work this out?), then my basic take is she gets half the house proceeds when sold (entitled to anyway by deeds), but we will see what she asks for I guess. But that's the first step then? In the event of a divorce agree who gets what, and then the courts moderate and approve.

Given the meagre assets aside from the house my wife might be okay with us taking this approach in the event of a divorce.

At the time of the divorce it's likely that my wife will be financial independent from me with her own job with decent pay. She's working on that at the moment. I don't think either of us are going to press the nuclear button until we are sure of our job status and ability to earn and live independently.

[enaid]

Re: Where to start??

Hi, some info on your pension HERE

[GulDukat]

Re: Where to start??

Hi, some info on your pension HERE

Thanks for this. We live in the UK but got married in Scotland. Which rules would apply? Sorry if that's a stupid question!

[enaid]

Re: Where to start??

Does this help?
Can you choose where to divorce?
You rarely have the luxury of the choice of divorcing in one jurisdiction of another. In cases where the spouses have a connection with both Scotland and England it is possible that divorce proceedings could be competently raised in either country. A husband, for example, may raise divorce proceedings in Scotland, while his wife also raises divorce proceedings, but in England, under English law. The courts will not ordinarily allow both actions to run in competition with each other, effectively having a race to see which one reaches its conclusion first, but will instead decide which of the two divorce actions should prevail. In deciding which court should prevail, the court will look not only at the country in which the spouses are habitually resident, but also the country in which the spouses last resided within together

[Celestine]

Re: Where to start??

Does your wife work and if so, what proportion of her income has she contributed into the marriage overall?

As you have no children (I assume) it is not 'cut and dried' that she will get 50% of everything.....that's a hangover from past legal practices. e.g. lifetime maintenance awards are rare nowadays.

[Diana M]

Re: Where to start??

my basic take is she gets half the house proceeds when sold (entitled to anyway by deeds).

^ ^ ^. Do you mean the property is registered as Tenants in Common (defined percentages) not as Joint Tenants?

Di

[GulDukat]

Re: Where to start??

^ ^ ^. Do you mean the property is registered as Tenants in Common (defined percentages) not as Joint Tenants?

Di

We're Joint Tenants.

[GulDukat]

Re: Where to start??

Does your wife work and if so, what proportion of her income has she contributed into the marriage overall?

As you have no children (I assume) it is not 'cut and dried' that she will get 50% of everything.....that's a hangover from past legal practices. e.g. lifetime maintenance awards are rare nowadays.

Yes my wife has worked apart from the last 6 months. As to the proportion she can contributed, that has really varied. At times when she's said she has been short of money and can't afford to contribute, she has not done so. A lot of money was spent on rennovating the house prior to renting, and she contributed zero towards that. I count the renovations as part of the marriage itself, since it was for our plan to move. I can't give you a breakdown but basically I've paid for a huge number of things, including bank rolling our move.

That's not to say she has not paid for things, because she has - like food and drink, and some holiday money here and there, but generally when she has wanted to opt out of contributing she's done so. Not very forceful in contributing to everything in our marriage.

So are you saying that the courts would take into account her 'contribution' to the marriage when carving up my pension?

[Peridot]

Re: Where to start??

Hi GulDukat,
I think you need to go back a step before you start suggesting that everything is divided 50/50.
Yes the starting point is a 50/50 division however there are other factors that come into play, such as children, which I understand you don't have.
How long have you been married? Did you own the property prior to your marriage?
Even if it is most likely to be a 50/50 split that doesn't mean that you take each asset that you have and divide it. There is negotiation to be had. If for example you had a long marriage and one of you never worked so did not accrue their own pension, then a division of the pension may be appropriate. If however you've both worked and each have small pensions then why divide it?

Equally, with the house, if it is correct and agreed that the equity should be divided equally between you both and one of you is able to re-mortgage and pay the other their 50% of the equity (not 50% of the whole house value, but 50% of the value left once mortgages or other secured loans are deducted from an agreed estate agent/surveyors valuation) then that is also an option.

You can apply for the divorce yourselves, if that is the way you wish to go. It is reasonably straight forward once you have decided on what grounds you are divorcing.

Getting the divorce itself is generally not the difficult part. Bear in mind however, that this is in effect a piece of paper ending the legal marriage. It does not deal with the finances, which is usually where the issues arise. If you can agree the division between you, that's great. You could consider seeing a family mediator to assist with this, if it all gets too difficult.

Once agreed you would need a solicitor to prepare the draft consent order that sets out what you have decided in relation to the finances and prevents any claim being made in the future once it is approved. The draft consent order is then sent to Court for approval, so checking that it is a fair division of assets. There are some law firms that offer fixed fees to prepare a draft order and it is always cheaper if you can agree the division of assets between you rather than getting the lawyers involved.

A bit of a whistle stop exploration of divorce but hopefully points you in the right direction. There are options. Think of all your assets and debts as a big pot, the value of which is to be divided between you, for the sake of the analogy lets assume 50/50. How you divide the assets to get to the equivalent value of 50% is up to you two.

We here if needed further down the line.

[bernardshow555]

Re: Where to start??

Mediation may be the proper way for way. Avoid a litigation divorce.

[GulDukat]

Re: Where to start??

Hi GulDukat,
How long have you been married? Did you own the property prior to your marriage?

Okay coming back to this because divorce is looking more probable. We've not pulled the trigger yet, but I think I might have to initiate it soon.

We've been married 2.5 years. I owned the property when we were married (I had a mortgage on a flat before and sold that to fund the move to the new house), and we agreed for my wife to be on the title deeds in mid-2015, so she's been co-owner for almost 2 years.

Even if it is most likely to be a 50/50 split that doesn't mean that you take each asset that you have and divide it. There is negotiation to be had. If for example you had a long marriage and one of you never worked so did not accrue their own pension, then a division of the pension may be appropriate. If however you've both worked and each have small pensions then why divide it?

Well I know she doesn't have a private pension of any kind. Not because she's not worked, she's not bothered with getting a pension.

Equally, with the house, if it is correct and agreed that the equity should be divided equally between you both and one of you is able to re-mortgage and pay the other their 50% of the equity (not 50% of the whole house value, but 50% of the value left once mortgages or other secured loans are deducted from an agreed estate agent/surveyors valuation) then that is also an option.

You can apply for the divorce yourselves, if that is the way you wish to go. It is reasonably straight forward once you have decided on what grounds you are divorcing.

Getting the divorce itself is generally not the difficult part. Bear in mind however, that this is in effect a piece of paper ending the legal marriage. It does not deal with the finances, which is usually where the issues arise. If you can agree the division between you, that's great. You could consider seeing a family mediator to assist with this, if it all gets too difficult.

Once agreed you would need a solicitor to prepare the draft consent order that sets out what you have decided in relation to the finances and prevents any claim being made in the future once it is approved. The draft consent order is then sent to Court for approval, so checking that it is a fair division of assets. There are some law firms that offer fixed fees to prepare a draft order and it is always cheaper if you can agree the division of assets between you rather than getting the lawyers involved.

A bit of a whistle stop exploration of divorce but hopefully points you in the right direction. There are options. Think of all your assets and debts as a big pot, the value of which is to be divided between you, for the sake of the analogy lets assume 50/50. How you divide the assets to get to the equivalent value of 50% is up to you two.

We here if needed further down the line.

I feel like I need confidence in what a fair division of assets is. Fact is my wife has been rather financially irresponsible most of her life, and I've one-sidedly ploughed a lot of my earnings into funding the house and our move. I'm not sure if this would mean anything when it comes to division of assets, but I would rather have a solicitors opinion on what is actually fair, rather than what someone tries to convince me is fair, if that makes sense?

As for the divorce itself, I'm a bit confused on how to approach this. From what I can see there needs to be grounds for divorce: https://www.gov.uk/divorce/grounds-for-divorce

Whilst the relationship has broken down, the reason I want a divorce is because of the way she has behaved towards me, which rendered our vows a mockery. How should I proceed with this?

We have just separated and I am living in a rented flat, whilst still being the sole earner and paying all the rent as I have done for the past 6 months. So I'm paying double rent in effect. Bu the marriage was so dead and I was utterly miserable - the marriage was destroying me and my mental health and I've got a job to hold down. She just started a new job so that's her first income for 6 months.

I'm just concerned that my wife will contest unreasonable behaviour. I am confident she will want a divorce though, so can we still get one soon?

[davjun00]

Re: Where to start??

So yes she will be entitled to half the house. It's seems fair that she should meet half the costs of doing this but divorce is not fair and you may find you get more of the cost then you envisaged. Yes, you may have to give her some of your assets, 50% is not cut and dried. The bad news is that your pension would also be affected and she would be entitled to a portion of it. The amount would be determined by the court.

Yes it will cost you solicitors fees. To keep costs low then you and your soon to be ex wife must agree beforehand what you each want and then present that to the court as an agreement. The judge may disagree and vary but it does keep the costs down.

I must agree.