Ex has defended divorce, now what?

[hairdresseronfire]

Hi, I was hoping to get some advice surrounding my current situation or at least a bit of a framework as to what I should expect going forward.

I filed for divorce about a week and a half ago on the grounds of 2 years separation, which my ex and I had agreed to. The forms arrived last Wednesday. My ex has now decided however that as our marriage breakdown was due to my affair, that she actually wants the divorce to be filed as adultery and has apparently defended the divorce, claiming (falsely) that we haven't been separated 2 years.

It's basic pettiness on her part as far as I can tell, but I'm a bit concerned about how much this might delay the process and about what the financial ramifications might be. I don't really have much money right now (she has even less), will this automatically result in a court case? Do I have to have a solicitor if so? Also, given that I've already paid the £550 to file the divorce, would I be liable for any charges incurred because of her defending in the manner she is or will the charges fall for her?

Also, how much does something like this typically delay the process?

Kind regards.

[FionaC]

Re: Ex has defended divorce, now what?

Dear Hairdresseronfire,

This is an extremely frustrating situation for you.

The only ground for a divorce is that the marriage has irretrievably broken down, this is proved by one of the 5 facts. These facts include adultery and two years separation with consent. You cannot proceed on a two year separation divorce without the other parties consent.

If your wife files the acknowledgement of service form stating she will defend the petition she must then file an answer and this will need to be done within 28 days of the service of the petition. Your situation is difficult anyway because even if your wife does not defend the petition you cannot proceed without her consent.

she may be about to issue a petition of her own ( it's called cross petitioning) alleging the marriage ended due to your adultery but she cannot proceed without clear evidence of the adultery and this is usually obtained by you signing the acknowledgement of service form and confirming the adultery took place. This is getting a bit messy and will be expensive. You could agree to let her petition proceed provided she promises in the paperwork not to make a claim for costs against you and you then agree to have your petition dismissed. You will have wasted £550 but the divorce will continue and your costs will be limited to the £550 you have already paid. If this won't work for you I suggest one session with a mediator who will help you sort out who is the petitioner, on what grounds and who will pay the costs.

Good Luck

Fiona C.

[hairdresseronfire]

Re: Ex has defended divorce, now what?

Dear Hairdresseronfire,

This is an extremely frustrating situation for you.

The only ground for a divorce is that the marriage has irretrievably broken down, this is proved by one of the 5 facts. These facts include adultery and two years separation with consent. You cannot proceed on a two year separation divorce without the other parties consent.

If your wife files the acknowledgement of service form stating she will defend the petition she must then file an answer and this will need to be done within 28 days of the service of the petition. Your situation is difficult anyway because even if your wife does not defend the petition you cannot proceed without her consent.

she may be about to issue a petition of her own ( it's called cross petitioning) alleging the marriage ended due to your adultery but she cannot proceed without clear evidence of the adultery and this is usually obtained by you signing the acknowledgement of service form and confirming the adultery took place. This is getting a bit messy and will be expensive. You could agree to let her petition proceed provided she promises in the paperwork not to make a claim for costs against you and you then agree to have your petition dismissed. You will have wasted £550 but the divorce will continue and your costs will be limited to the £550 you have already paid. If this won't work for you I suggest one session with a mediator who will help you sort out who is the petitioner, on what grounds and who will pay the costs.

Good Luck

Fiona C.

Thanks, that clears things a bit. She doesn't have the money to issue her own petition so I'm not sure she's going to do that. What happens if she doesn't file an answer? Can she change her mind and consent to the 2 year separation if she's already filed to defend the claim?

Also, if she has defended, would I be able to change the petition to unreasonable behaviour instead of 2 years separation and move forward that way or is it too late for that? Sorry for all the questions, the whole things a headache I could do without.