Unreasonable father

[Lluisa]

Hello,
I have a six year old son and I was granted residence order just over a year ago. The father has contact times, the order is working fine, yet the father is extremely unreasonable. He constantly asks for variations and changes and is being difficult for the sake of it. I just again now agreed to some deviation for the contact days and times to accomodate what he demands, yet he said that unless I agree to variation of the order for him to collect our son 4am on a school night to take him to mosque for Eid prayer (my son is not Muslim) he will apply to court again. I explained that 4 am is early for a six year old however would consider later morning time but he is being complicated just because. This is not something new but would you say he has grounds? Is there any way of me stopping him from applying to courts all the time? I need to ensure my son is in a stable environment and all he does is constantly stress me and create issues.
He applied to court numerous times and all of these matters dragged for years, I am sick and tired of him, yet carry on for my son, but there must be a solution to a stress free and normal life.
Please help.

[OliverJames]

Re: Unreasonable father

Hi Lluisa,

I am so sorry to hear about your situation! There is nothing worse than uncertainty and instability when it comes to your children!

Let me begin with advising you that I have ZERO legal qualifications, and all I want to do is tell you about my own personal situation, and what we did in what I can see are similar, but not the same circumstances.

I have been with my partner now for 6yrs, and when we met she had a 4yr old son and his father was very similar to your ex, by the sounds of things. He would expect the world to accommodate what felt like a complicated life, but then decide to juggle his access as soon as something better came along leaving us to cancel any plans we had and sometimes cancel bigger events. He would tell his son that his mother was a bad person and lie about reasons they couldn't do things, based on how he was feeling about my partner on that day.

Long story short, his father took us to court, wanting us to cancel days of our summer holiday to extend his access. Our solicitor recommended getting a court order in place that laid out EVERYTHING in black and white. Mutually agreed between both parties there was a set schedule (which courts highly recommend for children!) of who had him when, and it also minimised contact between the parents to avoid any cross words in front of him.

You can also do it without a lawyer, although that’s not something we did. Have a read about them here - http://www.advicenow.org.uk/guides/h...ut-help-lawyer

Best thing we EVER did. Stress levels have been ZERO since it was signed, and if he breaks the court order he has to answer to the court.

No more juggling, no more flip flopping and not more legal disputes. In the unlikely event one of the party want to make ad-hoc changes for special events that is discussed and agreed accordingly. Otherwise, holidays, birthdays, Christmas and school breaks are all shared evenly.

Like I said, I'm no legal beagle, but I know what's worked for me! I would recommend speaking to a family law solicitor about this to see what they think!

Best of luck with everything!

OllieJB