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I've been married for five years. Second time around for both of us. But we've been together for eight years and we have lived together for seven of those eight years. Both of us came from difficult previous relationships that included financial abuse/control, which has left us feeling cautious.
I became bankrupt in 2016. This led to us not setting up joint bank accounts etc because we didn't want to contaminate my wife's credit rating which is excellent. For this reason my wife's name is on both our cars and on the home we purchased a year after getting married.
I earn approx £1,800 every four weeks. My wife earns slightly more than that but I've no idea how much more.
Since April 2017, after I relocated to live with my future wife and started a new job, I've contributed on average 75% of my wages to the home. That included a direct bank transfer every pay day plus incidental expenses during the month. At the moment that looks like a direct transfer of £1,200 plus a few direct debits, plus incidentals. Generally this equates to between £1,400 and £1,500 every four weeks.
The problem I have is this. My wife has a will which gives 30% to each of her three children (who are now 21, 17 and 17) with 10% to me. This includes the house, my wife's pension pot and a recently added death in service policy all of which add up to approx £324,000. If my wife was to pass away in the morning I could expect to receive an amount in the region of £32,500.
Earlier this year we had a scare when my wife was recalled for a second breast screening. This incident shook me. She was eventually given the all clear but it was definitely a wake up call.
When I pointed out to my wife that the equity arrangement wasn't fair to me and that I deserve more, her reaction was less than stellar. Her position is that she needs to provide for her children and that £32,500 is more than enough to help me relocate once the house is sold. (That's part of her will too.) This has led to many arguments.
Am I being unreasonable to ask for 50%? With 50% going to her children. This would equate to £162,000 going to me and £162,000 divided three ways between the children. So £54,000 each.
Preferably I'd like not to have to sell the family home but instead live my time out in the house. The house would go to the children at that point. I'm happy to sign whatever is needed to alleviate any concerns that have been raised, such as my selling the house and keeping all the proceeds etc.
I'm 51 and I can't help but feel that nothing is going to change. I've only got a small pension of my own, plus a death in service package both of which go to my wife should I pass away first to the total amount of £120,000.
Am I being unreasonable?
I became bankrupt in 2016. This led to us not setting up joint bank accounts etc because we didn't want to contaminate my wife's credit rating which is excellent. For this reason my wife's name is on both our cars and on the home we purchased a year after getting married.
I earn approx £1,800 every four weeks. My wife earns slightly more than that but I've no idea how much more.
Since April 2017, after I relocated to live with my future wife and started a new job, I've contributed on average 75% of my wages to the home. That included a direct bank transfer every pay day plus incidental expenses during the month. At the moment that looks like a direct transfer of £1,200 plus a few direct debits, plus incidentals. Generally this equates to between £1,400 and £1,500 every four weeks.
The problem I have is this. My wife has a will which gives 30% to each of her three children (who are now 21, 17 and 17) with 10% to me. This includes the house, my wife's pension pot and a recently added death in service policy all of which add up to approx £324,000. If my wife was to pass away in the morning I could expect to receive an amount in the region of £32,500.
Earlier this year we had a scare when my wife was recalled for a second breast screening. This incident shook me. She was eventually given the all clear but it was definitely a wake up call.
When I pointed out to my wife that the equity arrangement wasn't fair to me and that I deserve more, her reaction was less than stellar. Her position is that she needs to provide for her children and that £32,500 is more than enough to help me relocate once the house is sold. (That's part of her will too.) This has led to many arguments.
Am I being unreasonable to ask for 50%? With 50% going to her children. This would equate to £162,000 going to me and £162,000 divided three ways between the children. So £54,000 each.
Preferably I'd like not to have to sell the family home but instead live my time out in the house. The house would go to the children at that point. I'm happy to sign whatever is needed to alleviate any concerns that have been raised, such as my selling the house and keeping all the proceeds etc.
I'm 51 and I can't help but feel that nothing is going to change. I've only got a small pension of my own, plus a death in service package both of which go to my wife should I pass away first to the total amount of £120,000.
Am I being unreasonable?
