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We've had a joint account from when we first met and have always both paid our fair share into it. I've even gone back into the statements for the past 18 months and we've both paid a very similar amount into it. We also have our own personal accounts. Since I told my partner that I've wanted a divorce, STBX has started paying salary into a personal account (and also then paid into the joint account...to some extent). I've used my personal account for my own spend. With divorce, I would think that both parties should refrain from using a joint account as a slush fund and minimise personal expenditure (use it purely for household items, bills, mortgage, food shopping etc), but anything for oneself should come out of personal accounts. In short:
- We've got 2 kids so a lot of the money going out is for them obviously and I'm fine with that.
- But my STBX is using the account like it's a free-for-all (Coffees, lunches, various dance glass memberships, dancewear, union membership, flights for a minibreak with friends)
- I've spent next to nothing from the account on myself
- Since April, I have put in 12,000 and STBX 1,700
- I keep getting requests to put more money into the account as money is needed for X,Y, Z
- STBX won't talk to me any longer and her solicitor has instructed that everything goings via text message which makes communication very strained.
My proposal is that all personal spending must stop and that all items should purely be household expenses (mortgage, bills, insurance, food shopping and items for kids). Anything personal should be from personal accounts. And that we BOTH pay similar amounts into the account. Would that appear fair? I'm accused of all sorts at the moment and don't want to antagonize the STBX or appear 'controlling' (one of the many things I am accused of!).
Is there any guidance on this? We are still in the early stages of financial disclosure which I suspect will take a while to sort out and in the meantime I just want to reign in the expenditure.
Thank-you!
- We've got 2 kids so a lot of the money going out is for them obviously and I'm fine with that.
- But my STBX is using the account like it's a free-for-all (Coffees, lunches, various dance glass memberships, dancewear, union membership, flights for a minibreak with friends)
- I've spent next to nothing from the account on myself
- Since April, I have put in 12,000 and STBX 1,700
- I keep getting requests to put more money into the account as money is needed for X,Y, Z
- STBX won't talk to me any longer and her solicitor has instructed that everything goings via text message which makes communication very strained.
My proposal is that all personal spending must stop and that all items should purely be household expenses (mortgage, bills, insurance, food shopping and items for kids). Anything personal should be from personal accounts. And that we BOTH pay similar amounts into the account. Would that appear fair? I'm accused of all sorts at the moment and don't want to antagonize the STBX or appear 'controlling' (one of the many things I am accused of!).
Is there any guidance on this? We are still in the early stages of financial disclosure which I suspect will take a while to sort out and in the meantime I just want to reign in the expenditure.
Thank-you!
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