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Biligerant Partner

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  • Biligerant Partner

    Good evening all.

    I am looking for advice for my eldest daughter who is struggling in a soured relationship in these strained times of Coronavirus.

    She came to us on the phone to tell us that she has made a decision that she and her long time partner should separate for various reasons a few of which are the fact that he is lazy, and she is left to do everything and that she may as well be a single mum of two boys, (8 & 4 years old), because she leads that life anyway. He is constantly putting her down and making her fell inadequate. Arguments and disagreements have been going on for a while and this has ramped up since Christmas and of course been heightened with lockdown. She has been furloughed looking after the boys and her partner is working from home so everyone is on top of each other.

    She took the decision last week to ask him to move back to his mum's in the same town to cool things off and now he has become difficult accusing her of having an affair which of course is not the case. She did make a friend who she met once for advice while they went for a walk and that's the only time she has seen another man in confidence to get a man's perspective on the situation and that's all. Of course her partner found out so this has raised his suspicions.

    He has countered her by insisting that she moves out at weekends leaving the boys with him but my worry is that he might change the lock on the house. His mother has now got involved texting my daughter to try to sort it out between them.

    I didn't mention that my daughter has relapsing & remitting MS that leaves her exhausted, and he does not take that into account. Of course, he has been getting advice from an old friend who knows absolutely nothing about being a modern man. You know the type, the both of them have the opinion that they are the head of the household and what they say goes. (A very Victorian attitude and quite chauvinistic).

    She has taken steps to look at the 'Relate' website, and he is not interested because in his eyes he has not done anything wrong.

    I think she is going to seek out a solicitor this week though this virus situation might make thing harder. Can anyone offer any advice please?

    Kind regards.
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