Responding to divorce petition without jeopardising further child contact

[allcry]

Hi People, first poster.

January to Feb are the busiest times for divorce. Mine waited until March.
After many years of my wife abusing me, financially, physically and isolating me from my family, and son. She has finally discided she can do without me.

She was diagnosed with PTSD from the birth of our child.
On me not walking fast enough to pick cups up, she decided to run into the street with my son. Go to the hospital, and make a statement.

Spent a night in jail, and bailed then police no further action. Then I get a divorce petition arriving late including those allegations.

Allegations are the serious kind. With no evidence and no charges.
- Child assault
- Wife Assualt

This happening to a lot of people(Men) because it's easy to get financial aid.

I have two options, Maybe more. PLease comment.
1. Agree to divorce and add a statement saying that the allegations are false.
2. Defend the divorce, put in a malicious petition of my own, and ask the Applicant to amend hers.

Please let me know urgently, tonight, please. Or add a comment later for others that might be experiencing the same thing.

Thanks in advance

[paulajayne]

"put in a malicious petition of my own"

Not a good idea.

[allcry]

"put in a malicious petition of my own"

Not a good idea.

And a good idea?

[Peridot]

Hi Allcry,

Sorrry to hear your troubles. It must be a tough time for oyu.
Defending a divorce would not be recommended. It makes an already stressful, expensive process even worse. It is hurtful and very hard to see the allegations of unreasonable behaviour and understandably often makes people's blood boil, but it isn't worth fighting. Once you have the decree nisi no-one has to know what the grounds for the divorce were in any event.
Not sure what you mean by financial aid is this legal aid? Does your wife work?

[allcry]

Thanks for replying. yes, it was bad. And no it is quite possible for it to affect your life if a serious allegation.
She did not say I was a bad parent. It was a thousand times worse.

Once you have the decree nisi no-one has to know what the grounds for the divorce were in any event.

Unless it's a very serious allegation that can affect child contact and financials, and your life. for example you may even challenge a divorce because it will hurt you financially.

I was told to if I agreed to divorce but not the reasons, and the reasons were serious to actually respond thus;

Say what happened and what the result was i.e police arrest, interviewed under caution and NFA.
And then say you reserve the right to defend them if raise later.

I hope this helps everyone.

To be clear any divorce reasons are okay unless it's actually illegal/unlawful. And then you should make the above statement.

Regards

[2222]

Unfortunately, as the law currently stands, the usual criterion for divorce is unreasonable behaviour. That often means making allegations that may not be entirely true and bigging up allegations that are true. It's very hurtful and doesn't help the separation process one jot. it sounds like you have been very well advised to deny the specifics but not to contest the divorce.

interestingly, there are several hundred thousand divorces a year in this country, but only a few tens are contested. The arguments are nearly always about the money and/or the children, not the divorce itself.

That's apart from one couple I know personally who argued about the dog. Try to keep your mood up, and try to avoid getting caught up in the acrimony.

[allcry]

"put in a malicious petition of my own"

Not a good idea.

Actually it is if you have money or are legally aided. There is a loophole in the law for divorce.

Once a petition is made by the applicant ONLY the applicant can move it forward, to decree nisi.
Once it goes to decree nisi the respondent can apply to move it forward to decree absolute, after a certain time.

You have two ways to move a petition forward to decree nisi, cross-petition and proceed on your own divorce, and or apply to strike out the case. You can usually do this with a normal divorce petition notice without or without an application to strike out with or without a statement in support notice after 6 months.

Apparently you can amend your divorce response at any time, even if you have agreed to the divorce. But remember you can only respond in the time given unless you have a good reason.

Before 6 months you can just ask the petitioner to move it along within 14 days or whatever (normal letter), and then if you hear nothing show the court the correspondence and apply to strikeout their application.

You cannot move it forward without applying for a cross-petition.

Hope this helps those that stumbled upon this.