Recent separation and jointly owned property

[Dave88291]

Hi everyone

im currently try to find a solicitor to instruct on this but require advice urgently, in the meantime.

my partner and I separated yesterday...I was only spending a night away but this has exposed flaws in our relationship and has escalated.

We own our house as joint tennants although mortgaged. She has sent me an email clearly appearing to show that in the last 12 hours she appears to have sought advice.

I’m happy to share the mail fully, privately. She states she will remove all my property and my children’s property (my 16 year old son lives with us) and place it all in the garage. She is disposing if my sons bed and refuses to let me see our baby son as I effectively have no house I’m staying on our boat currently. And further states she’ll write to me again with what she will do with the property. She is changing the lock and has prior asked me to hand over all my keys.

where do I stand here?

With thanks in advance

[james_law]

She cannot do that, you own all of the property and as does she. She cannot stop you from entering the property without an order from the court.

In a nutshell anything she wants to do with the house she has to run by you and gain your consent, its that simple.

[Amethyst]

Sounds like a bad night
I doubt she has taken advice with what you've relayed she's said - it sound far more knee jerk reaction - but feel free to pm the email.
You are joint owner of the property. You're not married. You have a young child together and you have a 16 yr old son who currently lives in your home but your ex is threatening to throw out and also stop your contact with your younger child. Shes threatening to change the locks ( see James comment) to bar your access to the property.
Joint mortgage too I'm guessing ?
I presume you haven't responded to her email - I think seeking formal advice first is a good idea - for now you need to sort out your son as this will be very upsetting for him - can he stay on the boat with you for a few days while you figure things out ?
Whats the ownership of the boat btw ?
Basic overview https://www.moneyadviceservice.org.u...ing-separation
http://www.separateddads.co.uk/when-...-property.html

[ostell]

The advice she has received is probably from a "friend" and women's libber (I know I'll be shot down!) However I went through this 40 odd years ago (yes I'm that old) where the wife did change the locks. My solicitor basically gave me the same advice as given above. Had to break a pane of glass to get in to collect my belongings. Police were called by neighbours and went away again when I explained matters and they contacted the solicitor.

[Dave88291]

Hi everyone - the mail is not written by her so assumed she’d sought advice very quickly (James - pm sent)

I’ve responded loosely agreeing to her points but have reminded any lock changes requires a copy key for me.

yes my son will stay with me at the boat or return to his mums dependant on his choice. Still crap for him. Boat ownership is solely in my name, receipt, ship register etc money came from here but that mess can be sorted down the line. The money came from our joint account that she borrowed, she owes me at least £6k from something I paid off for her. There’s also sums of money I paid in relation to purchase of the property which is yes jointly mortgaged I also payed circa £7k stamp duty which I guess is not as easily recoverable. Why do these situations have to become unreasonable battles when the stress could be reduced sorting sensibly....

[Amethyst]

The advice she has received is probably from a "friend" and women's libber (I know I'll be shot down!).

Ha I was thinking it sounds like mums net advice so no shooting from here ....

Why do these situations have to become unreasonable battles when the stress could be reduced sorting sensibly....

Sadly emotions just get in the way. Things will calm down - you just have to remain as reasonable as you can.

[Dave88291]

Hi everyone...earlier mentioned email below only edited to remove names. When I say it’s not written by her I mean I know her well enough to be reasonably confident this has not been written by her...my main concern is the open ended statement ‘in the future’ I cannot have an open ended process and intend to request a proposal with 14 days which seems reasonable and sufficient. If no response I’ll consider if I have options to force the property to market.

Dear [name]

Following your actions and deciding to leave our family home on Friday 8th March 19, I believe it is only fair that I make a few cosmetic changes to the property which we jointly own. These changes will will be made of immediate effect are detailed below:

1. Front door electronic lock - Now that you have vacated the property, I’m left with an electronic front door lock of which I have no control over. If something was to go wrong with the lock I would face a real problem. As such, I will be changing the lock to a manual lock.

2. The Study - With immediate effect I will be removing the bed and drawers from the room and I will be disposing of them. If and when you do get your own property I will replace the bed only.

3. Clothes - Your/your kids clothes will be packed into manageable bags and left in the garage.

4. [babies name] - With you having no permanent residency I will be keeping [baby] with me at all times. Should you get permanent residency in the future we will look at having a discussion.

I think any contact now needs to be documented. If this email address is inappropriate to contact you on, then please provide me with an alternative.

I will be in touch in the future with regards to a plan for the property we jointly own.