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In brief, I've been having a terrible time of late, and whether my views of male's rights in family law not being equal are still valid, I do not know, so I'm after some advice on the below. Sorry for the chronicles, but bear with me..
Background
We have two children from a 10 year relationship
We split in March 2018 and are still co-habiting, in a property that we bought 8 years ago and now only have about £45k remaining on mortgage
House valued by a number of local estate agents. Ex's solicitor says willing in principle to transfer her share to me, but not negotiable on price. Wants half of the full asking price of the highest valuation that we received from a local Estate Agent.
I offered what would have represented 93% of above price and ex refused.
I agreed to put house on the market within 7 days of letter form ex's solicitor, following me not being willing to pay full asking price
I received a letter from ex's solicitor following putting on open market, stating now willing to accept counter-offer from me, half-way between my offer and full asking.
In meantime I refused a lower than asking price offer on open market and Ex solicitor write to me stating I was being unreasonable and that they would take me to Chancery Court
Wrote to solicitor to advise I would pay the counter offer that my ex suggested. Received response from solicitor. Goalpost have moved and now wants £1k under the asking price
House still on open market..
The Nasty Stuff
Ex took my passport without my consent (when I found out, not too fussed as on premis that it was to get the house sale moving) , however I did discover google search entries on the shared laptop, pertaining to loans, becoming a guarantor etc.. which set alarm bells ringing, since one of my forms of ID had been taken.. I spoke to police to try to get something logged, for my own peace of mind more than anything. Advised it was civil matter if not out of pocket...
Ex's father (Childrens grandfather) childminding kids in our property, walk into property from work, unprovoked verbal attack, swearing, lurch off the sofa towards me etc, all in front of my 2 and 3 year old children.. - Knowing what he's like I had audio recording already rolling ( I know it's not admissible in court)
A month later, come in from work again, ex starts with legal talk, told her she hadn't done everything by the book herself and that I'd seen police for clarification on ID incident.. she rhetorically said "what are you gonna do?, sue me?" - I shrugged and turned away.. she started wailling, called her dad and said "You need to come round here and do something, you need to sort him out" . Given the above paragraph, I removed myself from situation, leaving the house. Returned to empty house around 11pm, at half-past midnight, hear a car pull up, half expecting it to be her dad, but turned out she'd called police and concocted a story about feeling threatened by me,.. no arrest, caution, questioning etc.. just a chaperone to allow her to collect some items from the house... This has had wider implications and has started a referral with social services. This was pure retaliation, a result of me disclosing to her that I'd spoken to the police.
By now, I've started logging every minute of every day of my activity in a Google Calendar, and when entering the house, audio recording my entire stay in the house, sometime just 30 min passing visits to collect items, others are full 12 hour recordings of me spending evening and sleeping through until following morning. (Again, not sure how useful this is, but it's more evidence than what she has, given that the events she purports to have happened, never did)
Sat 24th Nov, ex texts me, telling me she's having her new partner over in MY house and demands that I leave the property and do not return to the property until Sunday evening. She uses childrens emotions, saying that it'll be awkward for them if I'm there (Where in reality, what she meant is that it'll be awkward for her and her new partner) . I make a quick 47 minute visit to the house between football and visiting new partner, to pick up change of clothes and to see the children, of which I have a completely unedited audio recording of this visit in it's entirity, starting with me in the car, engine goes off, into the house, leave the house, get in car and engine goes back on. No/ Very little conversation with ex takes place, as ex is on phone, kids sat down in front of TV.
Because ex thinks she's not getting her own way, regarding having her new partner over to the house, I get a letter today stating that events of Sat 24th are that we had a heated argument and I said many hurtful things.. As a result ex seeking Occupation order
Where do I stand?
So far, regards the house, I've responded to every solicitor letter myself, but starting to feel a bit out of my depth with this latest one.. I'm imaging scenarios of her getting Occupancy ruling, then just refusing to sell, and living there at my expense..
What Can I do about this? My logs/ audio recordings are all to the contrary of the fabrications that my ex is spinning, but likely not admissable
Ex playing on the fact she has kids and no alternative so it should be me that moves out
Part of me thinks I should just pay what solicitor letter says to buy the house, to get her out of my hair (although a life-long connection due to the children)
To all (any) of you that made it this far, thank-you for your patience
Background
We have two children from a 10 year relationship
We split in March 2018 and are still co-habiting, in a property that we bought 8 years ago and now only have about £45k remaining on mortgage
House valued by a number of local estate agents. Ex's solicitor says willing in principle to transfer her share to me, but not negotiable on price. Wants half of the full asking price of the highest valuation that we received from a local Estate Agent.
I offered what would have represented 93% of above price and ex refused.
I agreed to put house on the market within 7 days of letter form ex's solicitor, following me not being willing to pay full asking price
I received a letter from ex's solicitor following putting on open market, stating now willing to accept counter-offer from me, half-way between my offer and full asking.
In meantime I refused a lower than asking price offer on open market and Ex solicitor write to me stating I was being unreasonable and that they would take me to Chancery Court
Wrote to solicitor to advise I would pay the counter offer that my ex suggested. Received response from solicitor. Goalpost have moved and now wants £1k under the asking price
House still on open market..
The Nasty Stuff
Ex took my passport without my consent (when I found out, not too fussed as on premis that it was to get the house sale moving) , however I did discover google search entries on the shared laptop, pertaining to loans, becoming a guarantor etc.. which set alarm bells ringing, since one of my forms of ID had been taken.. I spoke to police to try to get something logged, for my own peace of mind more than anything. Advised it was civil matter if not out of pocket...
Ex's father (Childrens grandfather) childminding kids in our property, walk into property from work, unprovoked verbal attack, swearing, lurch off the sofa towards me etc, all in front of my 2 and 3 year old children.. - Knowing what he's like I had audio recording already rolling ( I know it's not admissible in court)
A month later, come in from work again, ex starts with legal talk, told her she hadn't done everything by the book herself and that I'd seen police for clarification on ID incident.. she rhetorically said "what are you gonna do?, sue me?" - I shrugged and turned away.. she started wailling, called her dad and said "You need to come round here and do something, you need to sort him out" . Given the above paragraph, I removed myself from situation, leaving the house. Returned to empty house around 11pm, at half-past midnight, hear a car pull up, half expecting it to be her dad, but turned out she'd called police and concocted a story about feeling threatened by me,.. no arrest, caution, questioning etc.. just a chaperone to allow her to collect some items from the house... This has had wider implications and has started a referral with social services. This was pure retaliation, a result of me disclosing to her that I'd spoken to the police.
By now, I've started logging every minute of every day of my activity in a Google Calendar, and when entering the house, audio recording my entire stay in the house, sometime just 30 min passing visits to collect items, others are full 12 hour recordings of me spending evening and sleeping through until following morning. (Again, not sure how useful this is, but it's more evidence than what she has, given that the events she purports to have happened, never did)
Sat 24th Nov, ex texts me, telling me she's having her new partner over in MY house and demands that I leave the property and do not return to the property until Sunday evening. She uses childrens emotions, saying that it'll be awkward for them if I'm there (Where in reality, what she meant is that it'll be awkward for her and her new partner) . I make a quick 47 minute visit to the house between football and visiting new partner, to pick up change of clothes and to see the children, of which I have a completely unedited audio recording of this visit in it's entirity, starting with me in the car, engine goes off, into the house, leave the house, get in car and engine goes back on. No/ Very little conversation with ex takes place, as ex is on phone, kids sat down in front of TV.
Because ex thinks she's not getting her own way, regarding having her new partner over to the house, I get a letter today stating that events of Sat 24th are that we had a heated argument and I said many hurtful things.. As a result ex seeking Occupation order
Where do I stand?
So far, regards the house, I've responded to every solicitor letter myself, but starting to feel a bit out of my depth with this latest one.. I'm imaging scenarios of her getting Occupancy ruling, then just refusing to sell, and living there at my expense..
What Can I do about this? My logs/ audio recordings are all to the contrary of the fabrications that my ex is spinning, but likely not admissable
Ex playing on the fact she has kids and no alternative so it should be me that moves out
Part of me thinks I should just pay what solicitor letter says to buy the house, to get her out of my hair (although a life-long connection due to the children)
To all (any) of you that made it this far, thank-you for your patience
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