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My partner and i separated ten years ago. We have an 11 yr who was diagnosed as type 1 diabetic 4 yrs ago. I had shared access with her father but he now only sees her 4 times a year as i moved a couple of hours away.
His partner and himself struggle with diabetes care, they dont follow advice about how to deal with hypos and hypers and they dont seek advice from healthcare professionals/myself when they need to.
My daughter mostly self manages her injections but this needs to be overseen. He doesnt do this. Her monitor logs everything and there have been times when he has let her fall asleep whilst dangerously low *2.1 - she should be at least 4.3* and then not checked her for 10+ hours. This has happened more than once. This could potentially kill her or put her into a coma. We only find this out once we analyse the data at home. Her averages shoot up when she is there to an unhealthy range.
She comes back home after a week there with her normally excellent blood sugars all over the place and it takes me and stepdad weeks to get her back under control. Again, all of the data in her monitor backs me up.
I call her when shes there but she lies about her bloods (trying to protect him) saying its all fine. He has also lied about her blood sugars and weve realised when she comes home. This could have very serious complications - long term and short term.
We dont want to stop contact for her sake (he has since had another child and it saddens my daughter she rarely sees her half sister). We think he needs to see her more to help him and his wife more learn about her condition - but not at the detriment to my daughters health.
We want to draw up legal contract of what he/his wife has to do if her blood sugars are too high or too low. This includes calling us for advice and checking her blood sugar in the night and bringing her home (or letting us collect her if he cannot get it under control). We think the wife needs including on this as she is often caring for my daughter alone when he is at work. She never calls either. He has already been ordered by a judge to complete extra training which he did but its made no difference. His wife has never had any training. We also want her to see him/her sister/his wife at least once a month so he gets used to her condition.
We need to get it organised soon and he invited her away for a week in cornwall and we are terrified that he will continue to neglect her condition or be even more lax as he may drink alcohol whilst there. We dont know whether she should go. Its worrying yet we dont ever want her not to see him. We want him to sign a contract saying he must follow certain health related steps like checking her in the night, contacting us if unsure etc and not drinking alcohol whilst he holds parental responsibility. Can his wife be made to sign it too as she is not the parent (but often is caring for my child)?
If he breaks this and he keeps putting her in dangerous circumstances can i stop over night visits? I really dont want to BUT this is dangerous! AND is this something i would need to speak to social services about as i know he has neglected her care? Could i make him aware i might have to do so in the future? Its a mine field. I just want her to be safe.
HELP!!!
His partner and himself struggle with diabetes care, they dont follow advice about how to deal with hypos and hypers and they dont seek advice from healthcare professionals/myself when they need to.
My daughter mostly self manages her injections but this needs to be overseen. He doesnt do this. Her monitor logs everything and there have been times when he has let her fall asleep whilst dangerously low *2.1 - she should be at least 4.3* and then not checked her for 10+ hours. This has happened more than once. This could potentially kill her or put her into a coma. We only find this out once we analyse the data at home. Her averages shoot up when she is there to an unhealthy range.
She comes back home after a week there with her normally excellent blood sugars all over the place and it takes me and stepdad weeks to get her back under control. Again, all of the data in her monitor backs me up.
I call her when shes there but she lies about her bloods (trying to protect him) saying its all fine. He has also lied about her blood sugars and weve realised when she comes home. This could have very serious complications - long term and short term.
We dont want to stop contact for her sake (he has since had another child and it saddens my daughter she rarely sees her half sister). We think he needs to see her more to help him and his wife more learn about her condition - but not at the detriment to my daughters health.
We want to draw up legal contract of what he/his wife has to do if her blood sugars are too high or too low. This includes calling us for advice and checking her blood sugar in the night and bringing her home (or letting us collect her if he cannot get it under control). We think the wife needs including on this as she is often caring for my daughter alone when he is at work. She never calls either. He has already been ordered by a judge to complete extra training which he did but its made no difference. His wife has never had any training. We also want her to see him/her sister/his wife at least once a month so he gets used to her condition.
We need to get it organised soon and he invited her away for a week in cornwall and we are terrified that he will continue to neglect her condition or be even more lax as he may drink alcohol whilst there. We dont know whether she should go. Its worrying yet we dont ever want her not to see him. We want him to sign a contract saying he must follow certain health related steps like checking her in the night, contacting us if unsure etc and not drinking alcohol whilst he holds parental responsibility. Can his wife be made to sign it too as she is not the parent (but often is caring for my child)?
If he breaks this and he keeps putting her in dangerous circumstances can i stop over night visits? I really dont want to BUT this is dangerous! AND is this something i would need to speak to social services about as i know he has neglected her care? Could i make him aware i might have to do so in the future? Its a mine field. I just want her to be safe.
HELP!!!
