Child custody dispute

[Openlaw15]

Re: Child custody dispute

@Openlaw15 Thats cheeky Also, you filling up this poor posters thread, arguing with people or telling them there wrong, or your opinions more qualified,,,, maybe try sticking to helping the poster in an understandable way.. not everyone shouts about there qualifications,,

No CC, I never said anyone was wrong I just saw the words 'Authorised Representative' in a prominent green - clearly intended as exception - so I naturally asked Di if she were a solicitor or barrister.

[Openlaw15]

Re: Child custody dispute

@Openlaw15 Thats cheeky Also, you filling up this poor posters thread, arguing with people or telling them there wrong, or your opinions more qualified,,,, maybe try sticking to helping the poster in an understandable way.. not everyone shouts about there qualifications,,

Where is the evidence that 'I' said am more qualified to answer Daisy's situation? You said I was wrong. I said under family procedure rules practice directions (FPR PD) that Daisy is required to have a fair hearing. I never said I was more qualified. I am citing procedure, not my opinion.

[Daisyberwick]

Re: Child custody dispute

This is all so confusing to me lol. I wanted to appeal the last 11 days of the school holidays that my daughter will be with her dad, but I've decided against that now. She has survived 13 days with him and while she didn't like it, I doubt that it's hurt her. Rather than rock the boat with the judge, I'm going to 'finish my sentance' ...
My daughter will get the chance to speak to the judge just before the case gets heard on 30th and I will get a chance to speak with the court guardian while my daughter is with me next week. I have come to the conclusion that CAFCASS work separately from social services and while I feel that social services are against me, CAFCASS are not entirely against me. Untill now, I thought my ex had been part of the discussion between my daughter and CAFCASS, but I've realised, he was not in the room, so has no idea how strongly she feels. This worried me.

[Diana M]

Re: Child custody dispute

I'm glad you're feeling more positive about all this.

Appealing a Judge's decision is tantamount to telling them they've made a mistake, so your approach (not to appeal) is wise tactically since you need that Judge onside right now.

Your daughter will be home tomorrow so try your best to act as if everything is fine and do all the things you'd normally do during the school hols.

Di

[Openlaw15]

Re: Child custody dispute

This is all so confusing to me lol. I wanted to appeal the last 11 days of the school holidays that my daughter will be with her dad, but I've decided against that now. She has survived 13 days with him and while she didn't like it, I doubt that it's hurt her. Rather than rock the boat with the judge, I'm going to 'finish my sentance' ...
My daughter will get the chance to speak to the judge just before the case gets heard on 30th and I will get a chance to speak with the court guardian while my daughter is with me next week. I have come to the conclusion that CAFCASS work separately from social services and while I feel that social services are against me, CAFCASS are not entirely against me. Untill now, I thought my ex had been part of the discussion between my daughter and CAFCASS, but I've realised, he was not in the room, so has no idea how strongly she feels. This worried me.

Daisy have you had a Fact Finding hearing about 'domestic abuse' or not? Are the social services still saying you're 'emotionally abusing' or other types of domestic abuse towards M (your daughter)?

[Daisyberwick]

Re: Child custody dispute

I think the last hearing was a fact finding hearing. The reason I'm still being accused of emotional abuse is because nothing positive has been done with me since the first hearing. I think because my ex started proceedings, social services have just washed their hands of helping me in any way. I think they're waiting for the outcome before they give me any help with her. On the arrangement order, it states that I must not abuse my daughter in anyway. It's like CAFCASS will be watching me for those 9 days to assess our relationship. I believe they're going to be looking for their facts during these 9 days.

[Openlaw15]

Re: Child custody dispute

I think the last hearing was a fact finding hearing. The reason I'm still being accused of emotional abuse is because nothing positive has been done with me since the first hearing. I think because my ex started proceedings, social services have just washed their hands of helping me in any way. I think they're waiting for the outcome before they give me any help with her. On the arrangement order, it states that I must not abuse my daughter in anyway. It's like CAFCASS will be watching me for those 9 days to assess our relationship. I believe they're going to be looking for their facts during these 9 days.

Daisy, the Fact Finding Hearing (paragraph 28,12J, Practice Direction, Family Procedure Rules (para. 28, 12J, PD, FPR)) was where you really needed legal representation the most. Your solicitor could have pulled the social worker's section 37 apart, and if there were some issues in CAFCASS' section 7's report, dealt with them too: paragraph 28. It was your chance to say you did not domestically abuse your 12 year old daughter. Now the court by the words/ terms 'must not abuse my daughter in anyway' on the Child Arrangement Order seemingly indicates that they didn't believe you (but you had no legal representation). Have they mentioned supervised contact/ visitation for you or not?

"paragraph 28

While ensuring that the Allegations are properly put and responded to, the fact-finding hearing can be an inquisitorial (or investigative) process, which at all times must protect the interests of all involved. At the fact-finding hearing –

•Each party can be asked to identify what questions they wish to ask of the other party, and to set out or confirm in sworn evidence their version of the disputed key facts.

•The judge or lay justices should be prepared where necessary and appropriate to conduct the questioning of the witnesses on behalf of the parties, focusing on the key issues in the case."

Do you see why you need a lawyer. This is effectively saying, before the fact finding hearing the lawyers would already in advance have chosen the questions and the particular disputes that were benefit to the parties, ie you. Instead all of this was likely done before you even got to the Fact Finding Hearing. So any defences you might have had are too late. Your lawyer could have said stuff like, 'leading question' could counsel (lawyers) please stop doing this and rephrase his or her question. What is a leading question and what is a Fair question? A fair question is 'Daisy, 'tell us what happened during these alleged domestic abuse events.' Leading question: Daisy, isn't it fair to say that your domestic abuse on your daughter makes you unfit to raise her?' The difference is that the first question assumes no 'domestic abuse' but the second question does. This hearing is for allegations of abuse, so at this point it wouldn't be proven as abuse. This is called legal practice.

[Daisyberwick]

Re: Child custody dispute

Ok so the fact finding hearing is on 30th August. The section 37 is being done now in time for the next hearing. I've tried so hard to get a solicitor, but simply cannot afford one. I've contacted the McKenzie Friends but no one has called me back. They have no evidence and I haven't been charged with anything yet.

[Daisyberwick]

Re: Child custody dispute

My daughter is due back today for 9 days without supervision. She is also due back to me at the start of the school term (to live with me again) Untill a further hearing beginning of October. I'm running around like a headless chicken. I don't know what to do for the best. Also she's 12 years old. Surely they won't make her live there if she doesn't want to??

[Openlaw15]

Re: Child custody dispute

Ok so the fact finding hearing is on 30th August. The section 37 is being done now in time for the next hearing. I've tried so hard to get a solicitor, but simply cannot afford one. I've contacted the McKenzie Friends but no one has called me back. They have no evidence and I haven't been charged with anything yet.

Daisy, brilliant news that the Fact Finding Hearing is 30 August 2016. You're still well in time to prepare. Do not go in like a lamb to the slaughter! You're going to ask for a hearing for 'domestic abuse' to prove the allegations against you. This is only a civil order, ie not criminal so no one will be charging you. It's just to see whether 'domestic abuse' allegations can be proven. From this point onwards, do not admit to any domestic abuse allegations from now on, except what they already know. If you've said something once but then change your story, they'll say you're not credible as a witness so you can't be believed. So, be careful! Let them prove anything else, ie 'emotional abuse.' Then if there's no proof of domestic abuse overall, you can move on to the next part of the Child Contact process. You daughter could also be provided with a lawyer (guardian), as they may ask her some unfair questions. But the procedure is the questions must be "properly put" to both you, and your daughter.

[Openlaw15]

Re: Child custody dispute

My daughter is due back today for 9 days without supervision. She is also due back to me at the start of the school term (to live with me again) Untill a further hearing beginning of October. I'm running around like a headless chicken. I don't know what to do for the best. Also she's 12 years old. Surely they won't make her live there if she doesn't want to??

Daisy, you can't be that bigger threat to your daughter can you, if you're permitted unsupervised contact with her for over a week. In future, learn to control your emotions. Be on your best behaviour from now on. She is only a little girl and is full of energy. If she acts up, do not even shout at her (if you can help it). Do not give the courts a foot or they'll take a mile. In my view, get some counselling (if you don't already), as your internal problems ie domestic abuse you suffered during the marriage or something else, are causing you to act out of control. A reasonable parent does not hit their children, so the fact you did indicated you require parent classes.

[Diana M]

Re: Child custody dispute

My daughter is due back today for 9 days without supervision.

That sounds like good news to me

If there's no supervision there must be no concern that you will harm her.

Like me you're quite rightly protective of your daughter so you feel miserable if you think she's feeling miserable at her Dad's place.

So who's looking out for you through all this? Do you have any family members who can come round to help with the daily chores etc?

Di

[Crazy council]

Re: Child custody dispute

Hi [MENTION=88892]Daisyberwick[/MENTION]

As you have worked out, your really in the midway of all the authorities looking at whats been admitted. Best advice, is try not to argue with the people doing the report, however much the things there considering make you mad ( my mistake ). There main concern will be no ongoing danger. And that any problems you had that may have contributed to any moods or anger, is getting dealt with. Be carfull what you say, explain to the kid, becuase what can seem as good intentions and parenting, can be seen from the other side, as you trying to control things ( again, my mistake )

[Daisyberwick]

Re: Child custody dispute

My daughter already has a court appointed guardian and a solicitor and they have both seen how unhappy she is in her dads house. They are giving my daughter the opportunity to speak with the judge on the morning of the hearing.
Do I ask for the hearing of domestic abuse now, or at the 30th August hearing? Thank you so much for your help !!

[Openlaw15]

Re: Child custody dispute

My daughter is due back today for 9 days without supervision. She is also due back to me at the start of the school term (to live with me again) Untill a further hearing beginning of October. I'm running around like a headless chicken. I don't know what to do for the best. Also she's 12 years old. Surely they won't make her live there if she doesn't want to??

Daisy, we need to get you legal representation as that solicitor's section 37 report could be damaging to you. You need legal aid for court representation. Does your ex partner have a lawyer? Keep us updated about the legal aid.