Domestic violence

[rob883]

My ex partner wants to accuse me of Domestic Violence(it is absolutely not true)
if I not move out before 01.07.16
My child is frightened,upset....
She treats me violently and hostile in front of child and on occasion have struck me
Shes verbally and emotionally abusive towards me and child...
Please help I dont know whot to do..

[Amethyst]

Re: Domestic violence

Give these people a call Men's Advice Line (call 0808 801 0327 Monday-Friday 9am-5pm (website www.mensadviceline.org.uk. )
or Refuge ( who are open now) 0808 2000 247 - They may be able to put you in touch with someone local to you who can advise with regards your childs safety and how to respond to the allegations she is making, if they can't themselves. Refuge are opening up more to Men but is still aimed primarily at women. Still they are very good to talk to and will have had similar cases before.

What's the situation with your property ? Is it rented ? are you both on tenancy agreement ? Do you have any child arrangements set up for your child ?

[Kati]

Re: Domestic violence

Have you spoken to any one about it ???

There IS help out there [MENTION=87042]rob883[/MENTION] ... for a start, take a look at these sites:

http://www.mensadviceline.org.uk
http://www.dvmen.co.uk
http://new.mankind.org.uk

K xx

[rob883]

Re: Domestic violence

my name is on tenancy agreement
the house is rented

[rob883]

Re: Domestic violence

spoke with my family only
I hope to get some advice here...

[rob883]

Re: Domestic violence

what should I do when she start hitting me? call police? Report this?

[Openlaw15]

Re: Domestic violence

what should I do when she start hitting me? call police? Report this?

Alternative view:

Rob, do bear in mind that if you report her to the police your relationship is likely over. Think about the children too. Is there any reason why she is hitting you? Are you provoking her, or is she just a volatile type of person? What about mediation, is there a family member or friend who can step in? Are you a small person, is she bigger, stronger than you? If you are in an abusive relationship that is a very different story and need to protect the children. Bear in mind if social services get involved and they will, it could create problems seeing your own children. Nevertheless, make your the children and you are safe. Does your wife have mental health issues, ie schizophrenia or other type problems which pose a threat to you and the children?


No offence Rob but I helped a US female friend defend her self when her dangerous ex partner made fictitious allegations of abuse which effect created so many problems owing to each state have its own laws. The effect of his allegations was that the entire state authorities believed the man as he convincingly manipulated them through manipulating his own young children because he was a selfish sack of excrement. He had a criminal charge brought against him for nearly killing an ex, but through a controversial Alford defence he escaped justice.

I really am skeptic now when men make allegations of abuse against women these days. Not unless I see some documented evidence anyway. I wouldn't help said lady by the way until I saw enough evidence that convinced me that she was telling the truth. I am not here to break families up. I know there are dangerous people I have studied psychology and have a qualification in it at university level academically. So I know what makes people tick, I know the dynamics of society, ie its sociology that causes the problems that affect families. Nevertheless I have stated what I have. Use your common sense Rob, if someone assaulted you in the street, or beat you up at work, what would you do?

[Amethyst]

Re: Domestic violence

what should I do when she start hitting me? call police? Report this?

Yes contact the police, if you are in danger call 999 immediately.

I really would recommend giving Mens Advice Line a call today about the whole situation. They are open until 5. 0808 801 0327

[Kati]

Re: Domestic violence

what should I do when she start hitting me? call police? Report this?

I agree with [MENTION=6]Amethyst[/MENTION] here Rob, you HAVE to report this!! No-one deserves to be hit, No-one deserves to be attacked.

As a survivor of DV myself, I can understand how hard it is to admit ... but I can promise you that it gets better :nod:. That first step is the hardest thing you will ever do (but at the same time it's the BEST thing you will ever do) xx

[rob883]

Re: Domestic violence

I do not provoke her at all
she's violent person and this is very abusive relationship.
I want to move out but dont wanna
leave my child with her

[rob883]

Re: Domestic violence

Someone told me to apply for occupation order and non molestation order

[rob883]

Re: Domestic violence

Me ex mother spend couple of years at mental hospital and i think she is same as her mom

[Amethyst]

Re: Domestic violence

Someone told me to apply for occupation order and non molestation order

You could do but talk to the Advice line first. Especially when you have a child together. You need support on handling the immediate situation and protecting the child. She is threatening to accuse you of DV if you refuse to leave the property. Why that date btw? Rather than looking immediately to the legal aspect you need to talk to someone professional about the overall situation.

You'd need proper help to apply for both orders. You could apply yourself but without guidance and support it's going to be very tough going. There's no court fees and you may be eligible for legal aid funding.

A non-molestation order will usually forbid an abuser from using or threatening physical violence, intimidating, harassing or pestering, coming within a certain distance of the applicant’s home, damaging or disposing of the applicant’s belongings, communicating with the applicant and instructing or encouraging others to do so. An order is generally for a period of 6-12 months and if an order is breached within this time a criminal offence is committed.

An occupation order deals with who lives in the family home. An occupation order can order the abuser to move out of the home or to stay away from the home, keep a certain distance away from the home, or out of a certain part of the home, and order them to continue to pay the rent or bills. You have to meet eligibility criteria for an occupation order set out in the Family Law Act 1996. You are in a relationship and have joint tenancy so that's covered. As joint tenants neither has the right to exclude the other from the property without a court order ( that includes her forcing you to leave)

You'd make an application for an occupation order because the court would also consider whether to make a non-molestation order at the same time.

Depending on the circumstances with the child you may need a prohibited steps order as well which would prevent her taking the child. There would have to be very good reasons for the court to consider that.

[rob883]

Re: Domestic violence

whats the criteria for Occupation order?
can CAB help me in my situation? Do i get any support from them?

[Guest]

Re: Domestic violence

Openlaw

I am appalled at your comments

There is NO excuse for anyone abusing their partner and I mean anyone, male or female. You are effectively giving anyone an excuse for violence.

Provoked or not , call the police . Not only is it a crime but it is having a detrimental effect on a child.

female on male violence is very under reported

Out of interest, what would you say to a woman who was being abused by her partner?

Incidentally , it is not Sociology that causes anything, Sociology is the study of society