Formally requesting no more contact from father

[Anna2016]

Hello,

I've been estranged from my father for 8 years. Very messy family break up..usual story of a lengthy affair, lies etc. I decided I would be better without him in my life.

I have requested clearly, calmly, politely and matter-of-factly that he respects my wishes and stops contacting me as it causes me distress. Both verbally and via email. I recently moved house and requested that no family pass on my new address (i wanted to feel "safe" in my new home) but somehow he got hold of it and sent a birthday card.

At no point has the unwanted contact been abusive or aggressive. Just very upsetting for me and unwanted. I suffer from severe depression and this contact caused a month-long relapse which I'm still struggling from.

I'm now expecting my first child in 6 weeks and can't take any extra pain if he contacts me when the baby is born. I need this time to be about my remaining family, and for the sake of my child need to protect my mental health.

Is there a legal path I can take to formally request that he stop contacting me? I don't really want to go this route but can't see another option. How much would it cost?

Many thanks.
Anna

[Openlaw15]

Re: Formally requesting no more contact from father

Hello,

I've been estranged from my father for 8 years. Very messy family break up..usual story of a lengthy affair, lies etc. I decided I would be better without him in my life.

I have requested clearly, calmly, politely and matter-of-factly that he respects my wishes and stops contacting me as it causes me distress. Both verbally and via email. I recently moved house and requested that no family pass on my new address (i wanted to feel "safe" in my new home) but somehow he got hold of it and sent a birthday card.

At no point has the unwanted contact been abusive or aggressive. Just very upsetting for me and unwanted. I suffer from severe depression and this contact caused a month-long relapse which I'm still struggling from.

I'm now expecting my first child in 6 weeks and can't take any extra pain if he contacts me when the baby is born. I need this time to be about my remaining family, and for the sake of my child need to protect my mental health.

Is there a legal path I can take to formally request that he stop contacting me? I don't really want to go this route but can't see another option. How much would it cost?

Many thanks.
Anna

Hello Anna

Fathers don't always get it right and they will make mistakes, but essentially divorcing your father now, even if it were possible, is what you might later regret. Ok, that said; as there are to no threats, no abuse, no damage, you could potentially get an harassment order or tell the police he is an unwanted visitor, ie a trespasser. Other legalbeagles may provide their own opinions.

[Anna2016]

Re: Formally requesting no more contact from father

Thanks OpenLaw. I don't want to be spiteful or hurt him, I just desperately need space to heal/be stable and can't do that if my wishes aren't respected. If I wanted to try to salvage some sort of relationship in the future on my own terms then that could be a possibility (albeit a highly unlikely one but who knows what the future holds), but for now my priority is being well enough to look after my own family. I will look into what a "harassment order" entails, thank you

[Openlaw15]

Re: Formally requesting no more contact from father

Thanks OpenLaw. I don't want to be spiteful or hurt him, I just desperately need space to heal/be stable and can't do that if my wishes aren't respected. If I wanted to try to salvage some sort of relationship in the future on my own terms then that could be a possibility (albeit a highly unlikely one but who knows what the future holds), but for now my priority is being well enough to look after my own family. I will look into what a "harassment order" entails, thank you

If it's a civil matter, ie non criminal, you have to do a mediation session first under the law for any type of civil court orders including harassment. It's called MAIMS. Costs vary for each person, ie between £50 one off fee and consequent mediation sessions, or others at £185 as a flat fee. You may be able to get legal aid for it however.

[wales01man]

Re: Formally requesting no more contact from father

Is there another family member who can help asking dad to respect your wishes for a while after all he is your only father