Trouble with a psychotic sister.

[ballymoss]

I'm not going to enter into too many details on here, but I have had trouble with my sibling for many years. She has broken our family, and despite trying to keep her out of my life for over twenty years I keep getting sucked into her world of self centred delusion through no fault of my own. I have been the centre of some pretty disgusting accusations in the past which she admitted were lies in front of my mother and former partner. These lies have now started again some 10 years later, but I now have a nine year old daughter to think of as well. I am at my wits end now and this is ruining my life. I reported this to the police a month ago, and they are not inclined to do a thing about it. I find this unacceptable given the nature of the texts from my sibling I sent them which contained many accusations all fantasy and designed to make it embarrassing at best to show anyone as it made me out to be a monster. Given the history, I am determined to put a stop to this, and determined to show this rather sick individual up for what she is. How do I do it given the police sadly won't do anything? This person has been the elephant in the room since the day she learned to talk. Attention seeking would be my idea, but no longer at my expense. It's got to stop, it's got to stop now.

Cheers.

[leclerc]

Re: Trouble with a psychotic sister.

There is still not enough information to advise. Most of us have siblings who we might want to throttle at times or that we feel are an embarrassment to ourselves but they are still family with the same blood running through them that we have.
If you are wanting to cut ties completely from her then change your mobile number and do not give her the number.
We need more info on what she is doing because unless we know the brief outline of it then it is difficult to advise.

Is she threatening you? Is she alleging you have done something to her or others? Is she constantly ringing/texting you?
If the police have said that they will not get involved then there is no criminal activity. Keep a log of all contact by her to you from now on and keep your own contact to a minimum.

This is off topic but initially I read the title as "psychic sister" so your post was slightly different to what I expected.

[wales01man]

Re: Trouble with a psychotic sister.

No doubt you can block the texts and if any insults/threats on other media like FB can be blocked all the time you are reading these you are upsetting yourself which is the main purpose of her actions.

Is there a member of the family you trust and she respects who can have a word with her as usual the Police wont act they will say is domestic and in the family until if and when its turns to criminal behaviour

[ballymoss]

Re: Trouble with a psychotic sister.

Thankyou. Yes, there have been false accusations (and not for the first time) of a rather unsavoury sexual nature, and threats of violence, of which I have copies. These were shown to the police. It's my view the officer dismissed this as a simple 'family disagreement'. However, it sickens me that my sibling could even imagine what she has clearly said out loud. Approximately 12 years ago she got drunk and in front of my partner and mother admitted she had lied to her ex husband and told him that I sexually abused her as a child. I feel sick just at the thought of this. Recently she managed to find me via Facebook and wrote down all this nonsense and a whole lot more. Now it's clear she is rather disturbed, which the family has known of for years. However, as I said I have a 9 year old daughter. I need to protect myself, and my daughter from these utterly disgusting 'accusations' none of which have a shred of truth to them.

[leclerc]

Re: Trouble with a psychotic sister.

Block her on facebook and ensure that your settings are set to "only friends" in regards to facebook posts. Don't respond to her or anything. Keep silent no matter what is said and continue to keep evidence of everything that is said.

[ballymoss]

Re: Trouble with a psychotic sister.

Thankyou leclerc, this is what I have already done. I guess what I am asking is this. Is there any redress for the stress, and damage this woman has done and to ensure that these sick lies are put to bed once and for all. When I reported it to the police I was hoping they would pay her a visit. One of two outcomes were hoped for: either it scared her enough to stop the lies which have destroyed our family or she would repeat these allegations and I would get my day in court as a 'suspect' whereby I have enough evidence to destroy her testimony and have her locked up for perverting the course of justice. All I want is a quiet life for myself and my own family without spending a lifetime looking over my shoulder for social services because she has got drunk again and is looking for her ever needed attention.

[leclerc]

Re: Trouble with a psychotic sister.

To be blunt, if you can have NO contact then leave it be. Trying to take someone to court when you don't want contact will defeat the object.
If social services come a knocking then that's a different kettle of fish but they have not .
You have done everything you need to. You've complained to the police over her behaviour so here's my question:

Why do you feel the need to punish her? If she has ruined your life why do you want to have indirect contact with her, ie via the courts or even suing for compensation? Let sleeping dogs lie until something more serious happens. OK?

[charitynjw]

Re: Trouble with a psychotic sister.

This is off topic but initially I read the title as "psychic sister" so your post was slightly different to what I expected.

LOL - I didn't see that coming!........................

(Ok, getting coat.................................. )

[ballymoss]

Re: Trouble with a psychotic sister.

leclerc, this ugly subject rears it's head every few years. It's just not me that gets dragged into it, it's the entire family. I keep letting sleeping dogs lie yet one way or another I keep getting dragged into it. I want nothing to do with it, nor her or her sordid life. Yet every now and again off she goes Drunk no doubt, yet to my mind if you sling enough mud eventually some of it sticks. It's got to finish. And it needs to end soon. I have had enough, I'm sick of this and I want a definitive end to this. Is there REALLY nothing I can do to force this sick individual into silence or get my day in court? Can you imagine the effect on an innocent person of these Chinese whispers in the light of things like Yew tree and the Saville inquiry? It's not on, I want to force this sick individual into a place she cannot escape from, prove her to be a liar and live the rest of my life in peace.

[leclerc]

Re: Trouble with a psychotic sister.

However, I don't think you have got a case, in the legal sense.
If she harassed you constantly then maybe, if she alleged sexual abuse to the police then maybe and if she wrote it down and told everyone in the street and lost you your job then maybe.

She hasn't though. She's been a pain in the backside and caused internal grief to the family(we've all done that to the family....not the extent of suggesting abuse though).

Rumours are rumours and are not fact. That is ultimately the issue.

[Amethyst]

Re: Trouble with a psychotic sister.

You COULD look into applying for an injuction against her contacting you and your daughter. You would need formal legal help to do this though as it isn't something we have any experience of here ( as far as I am aware anyway).

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/di...ut-harassment/ ??

Generally speaking harassment is behaviour which causes you distress or alarm. The Act also says you must have experienced at least two incidents by the same person or group of people for it to be harassment.

It's the courts that decide if something is harassment under the Act. The courts will look at whether most people or a reasonable person would think the behaviour amounts to harassment.

The court can make an order or injunction that the person harassing you must stop their behaviour. If they don’t stop harassing you after the court has made an injunction against them, it's a criminal offence and they can be prosecuted in the criminal courts.

[enaid]

Re: Trouble with a psychotic sister.

Hi ballymoss,
I may be way off kilter here with my advice, but going off the title of your thread I think maybe your sister needs help.
Psychosis is in itself a mental illness and can be triggered by alcohol abuse among other things http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/psychos...roduction.aspx

If you think any of that relates to your sister and your situation then maybe you can get help for her info on this link http://www.mentalhealth.gov/talk/fri...amily-members/

Please ignore this post if you feel I have over stepped the mark, just trying to see if there is a reason she is acting in this way and causing you so much pain

[teaboy2]

Re: Trouble with a psychotic sister.

Can i just ask, has she made any of the accusation public or viewable to people on her friends lists on FB, or have they all just been by private messages, texts or to other family members?

As if she has made them public, then yes you would have a case for libel and criminal harassment. In fact i think you have a case for criminal harassment just from the texts alone! Just one taxt designed and sent to cause the receipent distress is enough, though most the time there has to be more than just one!

[ballymoss]

Re: Trouble with a psychotic sister.

Many thanks for all answers on this post, it's appreciated. I have personal reasons for taking severe offence at the 'rumours' emanating from her, plus the detrimental effect it's all had over the years on the wider family.

My original request for direction was purely because I was/am at the end of my patience. I have tried to give her chances over the years but always been stabbed in the back when she was under the influence of alcohol or feeling needy of attention. My view right now is get her into court, show her up for the vile liar she is in front of the family then get on with my life in peace. Guess I'm just going to have to wait till the next time she kicks off, probably at the next family funeral, then get straight down to a solicitors and take decisive action of some kind. Thanks again.

[wales01man]

Re: Trouble with a psychotic sister.

Hope things calm down sounds like she needs serious help is there any friend or family member that can guide her into help after all if this escalates it may move from words to violence.

Many of us have had a problems with alcohol drinkers and from experience with a brother can tell you they are devious and clever they are always right and everyone else in the firing line is wronging them they have the ability to turn it into a situation where you may be deemed the trouble not them