Sons father taking me to court for Dna test and access

**jaydee** · 13th January 2016, 10:38:AM

Re: Sons father taking me to court for Dna test and access

Originally posted by Jess8492 View Post

Me and my sons dad have not been together since I was pregnant and I now have a one year old son. When I was pregnant he was not happy and wanted me to have an abortion which I did not. As a result he hit me but this went unreported to the police stupidly as I still had feelings for him. Throughout my pregnancy I begged him to be involved when the child was born. He said no and asked me to leave him alone. When I wouldn't leave him alone he became aggressive, said he was going to beat the baby out of me, told me to kill myself and wished me and the baby dead.

After my son was born I made contact with him and suggested he came to see him. He said no and again went on to say some horrible things about my son. Calling him ugly and other names and telling me if I ever brought him to see him he would drown him etc. I stopped contact with him in July he has never met his son but has seen pictures etc.

He contacted me in November and said sorry. He said he was sorry for everything he said and didn't mean it and that he just wasn't ready for a baby so was acting out, but now he wants a relationship and involvement. He asked me to see him and I said I needed time to think and he refuses to let me have time.

He said that yesterday he had a meeting with a solicitor who are sending forms off to the court. I don't know what forms or anything but he has all of me and my sons details. I have told him he is not the father and he is not on the birth certificate. Although he knows I'm lying and he knows he is the father and has said the court will order a Dna test anyway.

I'm really scared because I don't want him seeing my son. It's not for selfish reasons, it's because everything he said and did to me I can't trust him. I have asked him to meet me alone so we can talk and then I may consider it if I trust him but he says "you dont need to trust me" and won't talk to me. I simply can not let my child be around such a violent man who has threatened his life on so many occasions. Will I be ordered to do a dna test and let him have access? Really feel like just running away

Hi

Sounds like he is using the solicitor line to pressurise you into making the decision he wants in one way a form of control. Sit tight and let him play his hand and honestly the behaviour you have briefly described is consistent the traits of a domestic abuser using emotional manipulation. From experience do not respond and treat his vailed threats as trivia thus taking the power away from him. Should you receive any communication from a solicitor or County Court seek legal advice. This advice comes from a dad who has had a similar experience with his daughter.

**Openlaw15** · 13th January 2016, 10:57:AM

Re: Sons father taking me to court for Dna test and access

Originally posted by Jess8492 View Post

Me and my sons dad have not been together since I was pregnant and I now have a one year old son. When I was pregnant he was not happy and wanted me to have an abortion which I did not. As a result he hit me but this went unreported to the police stupidly as I still had feelings for him. Throughout my pregnancy I begged him to be involved when the child was born. He said no and asked me to leave him alone. When I wouldn't leave him alone he became aggressive, said he was going to beat the baby out of me, told me to kill myself and wished me and the baby dead.

After my son was born I made contact with him and suggested he came to see him. He said no and again went on to say some horrible things about my son. Calling him ugly and other names and telling me if I ever brought him to see him he would drown him etc. I stopped contact with him in July he has never met his son but has seen pictures etc.

He contacted me in November and said sorry. He said he was sorry for everything he said and didn't mean it and that he just wasn't ready for a baby so was acting out, but now he wants a relationship and involvement. He asked me to see him and I said I needed time to think and he refuses to let me have time.

He said that yesterday he had a meeting with a solicitor who are sending forms off to the court. I don't know what forms or anything but he has all of me and my sons details. I have told him he is not the father and he is not on the birth certificate. Although he knows I'm lying and he knows he is the father and has said the court will order a Dna test anyway.

I'm really scared because I don't want him seeing my son. It's not for selfish reasons, it's because everything he said and did to me I can't trust him. I have asked him to meet me alone so we can talk and then I may consider it if I trust him but he says "you dont need to trust me" and won't talk to me. I simply can not let my child be around such a violent man who has threatened his life on so many occasions. Will I be ordered to do a dna test and let him have access? Really feel like just running away

There are human rights to stop him getting a DNA tests if it's not in the child's best interests, in short.

Under the Family Law Reform Act 1969 (FLRA), section 21, the UK courts can order a DNA test. In the UK, the highest court said it will consider the father's right unless it is against the 'child's best interests:' House of Lords in S v S, W v Official Solicitor [1972] AC 24 (HL). Your ex has general human rights under Article 7, Human Rights Acts 1998 to have a DNA test done, as depriving him of this right would amount to punishment without any law. However human rights only go so far and are by no means guaranteed and the state (ie the man authorities in the country) has the right to interrupt any human rights in certain circumstances: ie not in the child's best interests: Yousef v the Netherlands [2002], as prime example which is good precedent. If you can prove that there is or would be a risk of serious harm it's unlikely the UK courts would permit under s.21, FLRA 1969 (as above) despite any rights your ex has. Do you have any evidence of his danger, where any witnesses around at the time he said these nasty things, ie wishing his son dead? However, men are the most stupid creatures sometimes and have a venomous mouth, but as they get old they regret the bad things in their youth? Do you think this man has changed?

**leclerc** · 13th January 2016, 22:07:PM

Re: Sons father taking me to court for Dna test and access

Recently, Legal Aid reforms means that he would be able to get that for issues of Contact where a DNA test was required.
Ultimately, IF he has actually got a solicitor then they would order a DNA if you are saying he is not the father. The courts see that the welfare of the child is best served where two parents are involved. There are cases, ie domestic abuse in which a parent can be denied forever contact with the father.

As Jaydee has said, wait for any paperwork from the court and go from there.

To be blunt, IF he is the father then he has the legal right to have contact with his child but he might also find that he will have to pay YOU maintenance for the child.

I think you have to continue to remember that in Children's Act 1989 cases, what is paramount is not the needs of the mother or the father but what it is in the best interests of the child.

For reference here is something related to the rights of women: http://rightsofwomen.org.uk/get-advice/family-law/

The above is Londoncentric as such, but you can call their helpline and ask for advice and that might set your mind at rest.

Sons father taking me to court for Dna test and access

Sons father taking me to court for Dna test and access

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