Pre-arranged funeral

[fairy dust 49]

Re: Pre-arranged funeral

Was informed this morning that my dads funeral has been cancelled for tomorrow ,Funeral director came to see me this morning and even she does not know what is going on .While she was at my home address I telephoned the main police station and they said that there is nothing on their system to say there is any involvement with the police as to whether my dad wanted a burial or cremation .So now no one is the wiser as to what is happening ,I have just got to wait as the funeral director is contacting the coroner to see if they have any information .

[des8]

Re: Pre-arranged funeral

What a nightmare for you!
The police know nothing, your solicitor is bemused and the funeral director doesn't know what to do.
I can only hope the matter is soon settled for you.

[fairy dust 49]

Re: Pre-arranged funeral

Thank you Des8 ,I telephoned the police again at 5pm this evening and when I asked them what was going on, they were still none the wiser I asked to speak to a chief inspector ,but they told me they were not available so then they said they would put me through to CID ,spoke to them at first the young officer I spoke to said there was nothing on their system and asked me to explain what it was all about which I did ,then asked all my dads details yes done that.She then informed me that there was something on the system and she would have some one to phone me dealing with all that`s going on .I am still waiting for a call back ,what can a funeral arrangement do with CID, I have all the paper work to do with a pre-arranged funeral,all my dads hospital notes and the coroner done post mortem and signed death certificate for the funeral to take place .This is what my family have done so my brother can have a holiday before the funeral ,making me out like a criminal .

[fairy dust 49]

Re: Pre-arranged funeral

Up date time again ,had a call earlier from a detective dealing with my dads funeral .He told me that the police should have never been brought into this situation as it is a civil matter ,so he him self got in touch with the funeral parlour and told them to book a new date for my dads funeral.I am so happy that my dad can now go to his resting place but I am wondering what my siblings will try next as they have gone down every avenue possible to post pone it for their own holidays ...

[Amethyst]

Re: Pre-arranged funeral

That's great news, but I have a feeling it isn't over although I really hope it is ... it is a shame the police didn't act yesterday so things could have gone ahead today as originally planned

[fairy dust 49]

Re: Pre-arranged funeral

Thank you Amethyst ,at least the detective has given the go ahead for a new date to be arranged as for my siblings I don`t think they have any other roads to go down as solicitor`s hav`nt taken any thing on .I have done all I can to give my dad the best funeral but they just won`t have it .I am going to ask the funeral parlour to inform the family the day before the funeral so they cannot put any more spokes in the wheel ,they will still all have time to attend the funeral if they want to. But if they don`t attend that will be their decision not mine the offer will be open to them even after what they have put me through these past 3 weeks since my dads passing..

[Amethyst]

Re: Pre-arranged funeral

I think you are very generous to even give them that notice considering how they behaved when you lost your mum, however that just makes you the better person.

[fairy dust 49]

Re: Pre-arranged funeral

Yes this has made me the better person that is why I am letting them know as I cannot lower my self to their level ,if they want to disrupt our dads memory in the manner they have then they will have to live with guilt .But I will be able to hold my head high in pride in front of them ,and as mentioned earlier my dad has 4 children not 1 I could`nt do to them what they did over my mums funeral ,my mum will know what they did and she will most probably be ashamed of them also ,I still have my lovely memories of mum to hold on to..

[wales01man]

Re: Pre-arranged funeral

You are behaving with dignity respecting his wishes the others IMO are being rather pathetic for whatever reason carry on with the funeral and then live with the memories they can carry on their miserable lives

[stevemLS]

Re: Pre-arranged funeral

I just can't understand their motivation.

It is just possible that they could apply for an injunction preventing it going ahead on the new date, but they would need deep pockets. (The problem IMO could be that if they only get notice of the arrangements the day before, if they applied for an injunction on an ex parte (without notice) basis they may well get it due to the "balance of convenience" test and the finality of the decision.

I certainly hope that this doesn't happen and that you are able to bring this sorry saga to a close at last.

[fairy dust 49]

Re: Pre-arranged funeral

I am pleased to say that the funeral parlour have telephoned me this morning and a new date has all ready been put in place for next Monday morning at 8.40 am .They have advised me not to inform family members until Sunday evening ,so thay cannot try and put any more obstacles in the way.Thank you all for kind thoughts.xx

[fairy dust 49]

Re: Pre-arranged funeral

Well my dads funeral went ahead yesterday it was a lovely service and the funeral parlour done him really proud especially with their support to me .But it is sad to say that none of my family turned up to say their last good byes to their dad ,so it was just me and the funeral parlour staff ,I am so upset that they did not attend as they were all told on Saturday the day and time .It is some thing they will never be able to get back as time cannot be reversed to suit them .Thank you all for your kind thoughts and help ....

[Amethyst]

Re: Pre-arranged funeral

I'm glad your dad was able to have his funeral as he wanted it, horribly sad that your siblings didn't attend, but good that they didn't try anything nasty at the last minute. As you say it is something they can't undo and they have to live with it. You have done the best you can and I'm sure your dad would be proud of how you have handled things.

Does your dad have much of an estate to sort out ? If he did, then expect more barriers from your brother and sister.

[fairy dust 49]

Re: Pre-arranged funeral

Thank you Amethyst ,yes it is their loss as they will never be able to say a proper good bye to their dad .Yes he has a very healthy bank account I have all ready put it in the hands of a solicitor as my dad did not have a will or power of attorney ,so it is going through probate .Oh my brother has all ready put it on face book that I emptied my dads bank account ,so to put people straight I scanned the solicitors letter stating that the late Mr xcc`s estate is going through probate and I put the scan copy on my page to proof him wrong .As you know when people put nasty untruths on face book the public take it as gospel,so that is why I have protected my self from any horrid comments..

[Amethyst]

Re: Pre-arranged funeral

Oh my god, it amazes me how people can be so nasty. Usually the best thing to do is completely ignore and rise above it, but I know how difficult that is.

Maybe they are tarring you with the same brush they tar themselves with. When your mum passed, did she have a will and what happened there?

(I have removed the name save you being traced to this site)