Pre-arranged funeral

[fairy dust 49]

Re: Pre-arranged funeral

Thank you all for your feed back ,I am pleased to say that today the Funeral parlour dealing with this matter has today given me a date and time for my dads funeral ,unfortunately when they informed my brother he requested a postponement yet again as he will be on Holiday and will not be returning until the 20th October.The Funeral Director has told my brother under no condition will they postpone and if he misses my dads funeral that is his problem as I am the client and they go by what the client wants and I have waited long enough for my dad to rest in peace . So now my brother has once again threatened legal action against me and the funeral parlour as he is seeking to find a solicitor who deals in this sort of family dilemma .I wish him luck I shall fight to the end .

[fairy dust 49]

Re: Pre-arranged funeral

Amethyst at first they requested a post mortem by saying my poor dad did not pass away of natural causes ,a post mortem was conducted due to their accusations and the results was death caused by bronchial pneumonia and copd ,now they are threatening legal advise .My dad past away on the 16 September .I don`t know the reason for their stubbornness think they are being disrespectful to my dad and very childish...

[des8]

Re: Pre-arranged funeral

Thanks for letting us know, and I hope all goes smoothly for you from now on.

If you should have any more grief from your siblings, do feel free to come back here.
If nothing else with the advice you'll receive sympathy and hugs from the girls here.

[fairy dust 49]

Re: Pre-arranged funeral

Thank you des8 for your kind words ,I just hope that now all will work out .But still cannot get the thought out of my head why my brother thinks a holiday is more important it is not as if he is all ready abroad as far as I have been told he`s not going till next mid week .

[fairy dust 49]

Re: Pre-arranged funeral

Have today received a call from the Funeral Director informing me that my brother and sister are now going for a high court injunction to have my dads funeral postponed ,also they want to have my dad buried saying that was his wish ,but my dad was still alive when he asked me to arrange his funeral for cremation and as mentioned before he paid for his own funeral in full with cash .Please can any one advise me and can they do this as the date for the funeral is for next Tuesday and my dad passed away on the 16th September 2015 ....

[Amethyst]

Re: Pre-arranged funeral

I'm so sorry to hear that. Sadly as nothing was written down it's going to come down to your word against theirs. Was there anyone else who can coroborate your side of events, did your dad actually speak with anyone while making the arrangements, nursing/hospice staff etc ? Was your Mother buried or cremated, do you know?

This stuff will help too if it gets to an injunction.

I have statements in the house were my dad said he did not want contact with my brother and sister and these statements have been signed and witnessed by my dads carers and district nurse oh not not forgetting his social worker and the police when we had to call them out because my brother was banging hell out of my front room window

It might be worth a chat with a professional experience in these disputes. I don't know if there is a specialist who will be able to advise in a free appointment but it's maybe worth a call.

http://www.stephensons.co.uk/site/in...rial_disputes/
Burial disputes

Often after a person passes away, their loved ones disagree over burial plans. Such disagreements can vary from where a person is to be buried, to whether they should be buried or cremated. Disputes over how to dispose of the body can often lead to quite bitter rows, as they usually occur whilst the family are still grieving for the loss of their loved one, and emotions are already running high.
A common misconception is that a person’s wishes, as often set out in their Will, are binding on their family. This is not the case. If a person specifies a particular way in which they want to be buried, the family are not required to follow this.

Sometimes, people are also unsure as to who is entitled to make the decision about disposing of the body, and often think that it is the next of kin who is entitled to make the decision. This is not always the case. The general rule is the person appointed as executor in the deceased’s Will, or the person entitled to act as personal representative, where no Will was made, is the person who has authority to dispose of the body. Therefore, irrespective of other family member’s wishes, there is little that can be done to override this, unless the executor is acting wholly unreasonably.

As these kinds of disputes can only be resolved before someone is buried, the person who is disputing the burial has to act quickly. If no agreement can be reached before the funeral, you may have to apply to the Court for an interim injunction to prevent the burial going ahead.

Stephensons have a specialist burial dispute team who will be able to advise you in relation to your dispute. Call us on 0333 323 3948 to speak to someone about your case or complete our online enquiry form and a member of the team will contact you.

[fairy dust 49]

Re: Pre-arranged funeral

Thank`s for reply Amethyst ,first week my dad went into Hospital he asked me to go and arrange his funeral not that we knew he was going to be taken soon after.He just wanted what wanted and that was pre arranged funeral so family did not have to worry about all the sorting out and the cost ,as for mums funeral family did not inform me about it i.e date or time and she was cremated which that was her choice .Both my dad and my self had spoken about funeral arrangements long before he even went into Hospital ,just that we never got around to going down to funeral parlour before he took ill...

[fairy dust 49]

Re: Pre-arranged funeral

Thank you for the site address Amethyst for Stephenson solicitors have phoned them but because the funeral is set for next week they are unable to help as there is not enough from now till then to sort things out .But have been on to another solicitor who is going to try and help or give advice on were to go from here so hopefully there may be some hope of sorting all this ..

[Amethyst]

Re: Pre-arranged funeral

That's good to hear xx Let us know what they say. It's so sad when things like this happen in families, I really hope your siblings are just blowing smoke for the sake of it and things can just proceed as your Dad wanted. xx

[Berniethebolt]

Re: Pre-arranged funeral

I am truly sorry for the pain you are suffering. At the risk of sounding blunt, your brother should have holiday insurance and that is what it is for , incase of certain unforeseen eventualities .

You ay there is no will, Did you dad own either property of have assets because if so I think legal advice might be necessary . When I lost a close relative I paid for 30 minutes legal advice which cost me £90 (I think) and it just put my mind to rest that I was following the right path

[fairy dust 49]

Re: Pre-arranged funeral

No my dad had no will ,I have all ready got a solicitor to sort out his assets thankfully that is all in hand .As for the funeral I don`t know why they are being so nasty about it I find it very disrespectful against our dad they should have more feeling`s about him going in peace .He deserves better than any family feud ,his memory comes first ..

[Berniethebolt]

Re: Pre-arranged funeral

No my dad had no will ,I have all ready got a solicitor to sort out his assets thankfully that is all in hand .As for the funeral I don`t know why they are being so nasty about it I find it very disrespectful against our dad they should have more feeling`s about him going in peace .He deserves better than any family feud ,his memory comes first ..

I couldn't agree more but sometimes grief throws all reason out of the window. I am not defending them at all but putting forward a possible explanation.

[fairy dust 49]

Re: Pre-arranged funeral

Quick up date about the funeral of my dad ,I received a phone call today from the funeral parlour informing me that my sister and brother have now brought in the police saying that my dad wanted a burial .His pre funeral arrangement was for cremation as the funeral is set for next Tuesday I don`t know what will happen i.e if the police will take their word for a burial or will accept the pre arrangement .The brother and sister are still wanting the funeral to take place the end of October .The police went to the crematorium this afternoon and collected all the paper work to do with the funeral in which was also photo copied witnessed statements from my dads care workers stating that he no longer wanted to see my brother and sister .

[des8]

Re: Pre-arranged funeral

Really can't understand why the police have even entertained intervening as it is solely a civil matter.
As long as no laws are being broken (eg Public Health (Control of Diseases) Act 1984 Sec 46 Disposal of Dead Bodies) they have no reason to interfere.
Nobody "owns" the body of your father, although it is currently in the possession of the funeral directors.
It would seem your siblings have failed to obtain the High Court injunction which I think is the only way they can prevent the cremation proceeding.
I wonder if they applied and failed, or if they didn't bother.

I would be down the cop shop asking what they thought they were doing, and not speaking to the man on the desk but a more senior person.

[fairy dust 49]

Re: Pre-arranged funeral

I have spoken to my solicitor today and she also can`t understand why the police are even getting involved ,she only she can think that my brother and sister are trying every thing in their power to postpone the funeral for their own benefits i.e holidays .But for them to say that my dad wanted a burial is a total fabrication as my dad has never had any reason to speak of his funeral plans until this year in July when he was so ill that we nearly lost him twice in hospital and they did`nt even go to visit him then,when he started picking up a bit he told me what he wanted and asked me to pre-arrange his funeral so if he did not come out of hospital the family would not have any worries sorting every thing out all so he paid for it out of his own money .