Being kept in the dark by social services

[Unicorn lover]

Hi sorry it's long and complicated but here goes.
I've been caring for my elderly neighbour for the past 4years since his wife died, he's almost 102 and very deaf. I've lived next door to them for nearly 18 years, they have no family and I've done everything I can to help them.
When the lady became ill with strokes and cancer I nursed her for 18 months until she was so bad she had to go into hospital. I took her husband the 25 miles to the hospital and spent 3-4 hours per day there, feeding her etc for 5 months. I promised her I'd look after her husband.
Whilst in hospital I was asked to arrange a solicitor for them which I did.
since her death I'm the only one who has bothered with the gentleman, and we were coping fine until a couple of months ago when his care needs rapidly increased until he was not safe alone. I can't do 24/7 it's not physically possible especially with my own health problems, so GP got in touch with social services.

the man appointed to BI'll was rude to me on the very first phone call and again on the first meeting.

I have been appointed as Bill's executor, his next of kin and have power of attorney, none by my suggestion.

From day day one I've been told nothing is my business, it's nothing to do with me, and denied access to him at the home he went into for respite. I was not even informed when they decided to keep him there longer.

they finally decided to bring him home with basic care package and no alarms etc saying they would sort out the safety issues later.

Not 20 hours after returning home he'd been admitted to hospital with a nasty fall.

I was visiting him hospital every other day, went yesterday to be told he had been discharged but they can't tell me where?

meanwhile social worker has changed the solicitor and had told me that he's going to revoke power of attorney etc.
please help.

[nemesis45]

Re: Being kept in the dark by social services

Hi,
Welcome to LB,

Has there been any mention of " the Court of Protection" being involved with this?

Does Bill own his house? If so it's likely the council will want to get its hands on every
penny to pay for his care.

I am concerned about the " secrecy" about his whereabouts since discharge, at the time this happened
you were his appointed representative.

The social worker seems somewhat over zealous too.

Is there any chance a " long lost relative has come on the scene?

nem

[Unicorn lover]

Re: Being kept in the dark by social services

They've refused to talk to me from the very first phone call from them. The only people he has any connection at all to is his god daughter who is in her 80's and her daughter. The god daughter has dementia and has seen him twice in 4 years and her daughter has seen him once.
I cannot understand what I'm supposed to have done wrong.
Everything has been done by the book, I've made appointments with solicitors as requested but not been in on the meetings until asked to go in to be told what they require me to do as in further appointments to be made etc..
pit was his GP that suggested I was next of kin, Bill that wanted me as executor to his will and someone from one of his pension funds that suggested to him to get a power of attorney done.
Ive just gone along with it all as he has no-one else.
Not one person has bothered about how he is coping etc, just left it all for me to do.
it hasn't been easy as I have health problems myself and an elderly aunt to look after as well.

and yes he owns his bungalow

Thank you for replying

[ostell]

Re: Being kept in the dark by social services

My wife had similar problems with social services when dealing with the care of her elderly aunt. Social services just went their own sweet way. We found that a complaint to the Care Quality Commission worked wonders. Social Services got a swift kick up the backside and, reluctantly, keep my wife informed about what was happening to her aunt, though it wasn't easy at times.

Social Services seem to think they have an absolute right to do what they want without reference to anyone else. What power of attorney have you?

[MissFM]

Re: Being kept in the dark by social services

What a disturbing situation, Unicorn Lover.

In addition to the suggestions above (Court of Protection & Care Quality Commission), I would contact Age UK 0800 169 6565. http://www.ageuk.org.uk/no-one/we-provide-advice/
& Action on Elder Abuse 0808 808 8141. as a matter of urgency

See here:
http://www.ageuk.org.uk/Documents/EN...n-GB?dtrk=true

Discharging someone so frail & elderly from hospital without round the clock care is, in my book, neglectful in the extreme.

Cutting someone so vulnerable off from his only friend and longtime carer is also, in my heartfelt opinion, cruel and abusive.

Time is most definitely of the essence here as such actions could have a cataclysmic effect on his health.

I would also put in a formal complaint to the head of Social Services - but first see what the above agencies can do.

Good luck. x

[Unicorn lover]

Re: Being kept in the dark by social services

Have been very busy calling everywhere suggested including a few others that have been suggested along the way.
Had a manager from social services call me this morning and tell me where he is, saying he told her yesterday morning he wants to see me.
A meeting has now been arranged between his social worker, her, bill and myself tomorrow.
im still following the complaint route though. Thank you everyone for your support and I will keep you informed of progress.

[Unicorn lover]

Re: Being kept in the dark by social services

Well well well! What a turnaround!
I went to the meeting yesterday, there were 10 people there, my elderly gentleman quickly got confused so was removed, but his god daughters daughter was there.
Every aspect was debated with results of tests, home reports, etc all mentioned. His original social worker was soooo polite, asking if I was feeling better etc, told me everything was fine with the LPA and I have access to his money etc.
everything I had originally said was proved and both home and the hospital had found his behaviour very challenging and unable to cope with.
They said that it was no wonder that I had been stressed and at the end of my tether trying to cope 25/7 alone.
his 'relative' was saying she couldn't understand what the problem with him was as her sister and mother both visits independently 6-8 times a year and never seen any problems, she then slipped up by saying when they had last seem him on his birthday last sept he'd been fine. Total visits from the whole lot in 3 1/2 years has been 3! Twice by the goddaughter and once by her daughter.
She then said the family wanted him moved to a home near them 100 miles away which the team were not happy with. She was then told that the costs above the amount that they were going to pay towards his keep would then be their responsibility to pay (approx £600 per week) when she then said they'd use his money and money from the bungalow. That was refused.
it seems that the team feel he's better kept close to me so that I can visit him daily.
i cannot believe the change in their attitude towards me but very grateful for it.
i don't believe it's over yet, but guess I'm making progress

[stevemLS]

Re: Being kept in the dark by social services

Does your LPA deal with property and affairs only or with health and welfare, or both?

Either way, if you have cause to believe he has lost mental capacity to make decisions or is about to do so, you must apply to register the LPA with the OPG for it to be valid.

[Unicorn lover]

Re: Being kept in the dark by social services

It has been to court.

proprty and finance only as I didn't realise how important the health and welfare one was.

[stevemLS]

Re: Being kept in the dark by social services

In which case, sorry to say, strictly speaking social services acted correctly in the first instance (apart from not being civil, obviously).

However, it sounds as though they have decided to exercise a discretion to involve you or at least keep you informed (and you do have rights to a limited amount of information - such as where the donor is!) - you should be aware though that a P&A LPA gives you no right to make any other decisions or access health or social care records.

Good luck.

[martinjacob]

my daughter is 33, she has focal epilepsy and pyschosi linked to the epilepsy. she was under neuro service for many years and stayed well , we the family were acknowlrdged as being very supportive. however two years ago my daughter moved into a bedsit, and the social worker took over , however unbeknown to us,our daughter was discharged from epilepsy services, all services and taken off her meds she became extremely unwell , and despite the fact we had always been there for our daughter. we were kept out of the loop and not told what was happening. she was sent to a locked private pyschiatricunit over fifty miles away , the social worker tried to get me displaced,we tried to get our daughter out of this place as she was really unwell and they were talking of putting her in a care faciity. we went for discharge to try and get her into a hospital that would treat her condition effectively and properly.At the hearing we heard things said about us and our daughter making out she was a danger to society, another thing they said medication would not help and she was unmedicted, wheresas for years our daughter had been well on medication.the managers at the hearing said our daughter should be back on her meds and she was put back on them. however we were not allowed to visit her and she was distressed and crying. In the end I went to the safeguarding team to complain . then our daughter was discharged, we see her all the time, the social worker tried to get her into housing that would mean social worker would have control over everything our daughter did. the social worker has now been taken off our daughters case. our daughter is fine now onher medication and is getting her epilepsy reviewed. we did try and complain to hcpc, the whole experience has been a nightmare and affected us all as a family . I dont trust social services one iota .