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Hi all i would like to post my story and see if it is worthwhile in pursuing this
I had an accident at work which happened about 7 years ago now, and unfortunately I had to give up my job due to the seriousness of it. I decided to go for compensation as it was not my fault and an out of court settlement was agreed on of just over £100k. It took about 4 years before I got the money as I had to do all the usual procedures like attending medicals etc, during this period our only son was very helpful in taking me to places as the accident left me unsafe to drive anymore. He was also great in helping out in little DIY jobs that I could no longer do myself, it was much appreciated as he had only just got married but we always gave him a few quid for his troubles.
My solicitors had to do a sort of impact report for my former employers insurance company, this is basically a list of things that I now have to rely on other people to do for me now, and in the future, as I will never work again and a costing for these jobs are listed which helps them decide on the compensation offered. Obviously most of the jobs listed were currently being undertaken by my son, and it was also expected he would continue to do so as far as he was able to what with work and married life commitments. I did explain to him how the compensation was being calculated and that I would give him a lump sum once settlement was reached.
He has never had much financial acumen about him and by the time I got paid out he owed £8,500 to his bank and a couple of credit cards, I told him I would give him the money to clear all his debts and allow him to make a fresh start. He managed to get a very good job but it meant travelling 70 miles a day and he and his wife were currently sharing their car as they both worked local. I offered to buy him a car for work to help them out, I must point out he never asked for the car I just thought it would be a nice thing to do for them. I allowed him to pick it for himself and I paid the garage £3,500, by this time with other little things I got for him I had spent around £13 - £14k.
Last year he discovered he was going to be a dad, we were delighted for them as we thought his wife would not be able to have children. Also during this period he got promoted to management level at his job and things really seemed to be on the up for him. Our grandaughter was born last December and my wife went to see them all in hospital, I didn't as I do not go out much due to my injury and I really don't like to leave our dog on his own. After a week I expected him to bring the baby to see us but he said he wouldn't because I smoked and he was frightened of the baby being exposed to this which I fully understand, I agreed I would smoke only outside in future to avoid any problem. He then said he would still not bring her because of the dog passing on something. After a couple of weeks the wife could not contact him anymore he had stopped answering his phone and we did not know why.
He told my wife's sister that he had blocked our numbers and we were never going to see our grandchild again (I have actually never seen her) and the reason given is that I think more of my dog than I do my grandaughter. He was very angry that I never left the dog in the house and went to see them at his house with my wife. I can understand it in one way but I think he is being extreme in his response, he knows the dog was unwell (in fact he had to be put to sleep last month) and I did not like leaving him. I feel I have been a decent dad but they are now telling people I have never done anything for him!!!!! how he soon forgets the bailout. My wife sent the grandchild an Easter card last week with some money in it and it has been returned by recorded delivery, in my book that is the final straw as my wife is heart broken.
He seems to have turned into some sort of snob and has no contact with anyone from my wife's family and virtually nobody from my family except his wealthy grandmother, and I believe he only sees her to see what he can get as he has never had any time for her before. It hurts me to say it but I think he has become a user and has taken me for whatever he could get and this has left me so angry. I really want to hurt him for the distress he has caused for his mother and the only way I can think of is through his pocket. Do you think I could get a solicitor to get him to court and try and get the money back he has had off me or is it just tough luck on my part? There is a paper trail that proves what he has had and don't forget part of my settlement was made under the presumption of further help he would provide for me.
Your input would be appreciated.
I had an accident at work which happened about 7 years ago now, and unfortunately I had to give up my job due to the seriousness of it. I decided to go for compensation as it was not my fault and an out of court settlement was agreed on of just over £100k. It took about 4 years before I got the money as I had to do all the usual procedures like attending medicals etc, during this period our only son was very helpful in taking me to places as the accident left me unsafe to drive anymore. He was also great in helping out in little DIY jobs that I could no longer do myself, it was much appreciated as he had only just got married but we always gave him a few quid for his troubles.
My solicitors had to do a sort of impact report for my former employers insurance company, this is basically a list of things that I now have to rely on other people to do for me now, and in the future, as I will never work again and a costing for these jobs are listed which helps them decide on the compensation offered. Obviously most of the jobs listed were currently being undertaken by my son, and it was also expected he would continue to do so as far as he was able to what with work and married life commitments. I did explain to him how the compensation was being calculated and that I would give him a lump sum once settlement was reached.
He has never had much financial acumen about him and by the time I got paid out he owed £8,500 to his bank and a couple of credit cards, I told him I would give him the money to clear all his debts and allow him to make a fresh start. He managed to get a very good job but it meant travelling 70 miles a day and he and his wife were currently sharing their car as they both worked local. I offered to buy him a car for work to help them out, I must point out he never asked for the car I just thought it would be a nice thing to do for them. I allowed him to pick it for himself and I paid the garage £3,500, by this time with other little things I got for him I had spent around £13 - £14k.
Last year he discovered he was going to be a dad, we were delighted for them as we thought his wife would not be able to have children. Also during this period he got promoted to management level at his job and things really seemed to be on the up for him. Our grandaughter was born last December and my wife went to see them all in hospital, I didn't as I do not go out much due to my injury and I really don't like to leave our dog on his own. After a week I expected him to bring the baby to see us but he said he wouldn't because I smoked and he was frightened of the baby being exposed to this which I fully understand, I agreed I would smoke only outside in future to avoid any problem. He then said he would still not bring her because of the dog passing on something. After a couple of weeks the wife could not contact him anymore he had stopped answering his phone and we did not know why.
He told my wife's sister that he had blocked our numbers and we were never going to see our grandchild again (I have actually never seen her) and the reason given is that I think more of my dog than I do my grandaughter. He was very angry that I never left the dog in the house and went to see them at his house with my wife. I can understand it in one way but I think he is being extreme in his response, he knows the dog was unwell (in fact he had to be put to sleep last month) and I did not like leaving him. I feel I have been a decent dad but they are now telling people I have never done anything for him!!!!! how he soon forgets the bailout. My wife sent the grandchild an Easter card last week with some money in it and it has been returned by recorded delivery, in my book that is the final straw as my wife is heart broken.
He seems to have turned into some sort of snob and has no contact with anyone from my wife's family and virtually nobody from my family except his wealthy grandmother, and I believe he only sees her to see what he can get as he has never had any time for her before. It hurts me to say it but I think he has become a user and has taken me for whatever he could get and this has left me so angry. I really want to hurt him for the distress he has caused for his mother and the only way I can think of is through his pocket. Do you think I could get a solicitor to get him to court and try and get the money back he has had off me or is it just tough luck on my part? There is a paper trail that proves what he has had and don't forget part of my settlement was made under the presumption of further help he would provide for me.
Your input would be appreciated.
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