Do i go back to court?

[dadworriedsick]

Hi

I have a child who is two and a half and i have 50/50 shared custody.

The mum had gone missing for a week, 8 days, when i left with my son. she had also spent the previous year flighting from the house leaving me with my son and another boy, whom i treated as my own, aged 7(4 year relationship), many times.

i self represented.

In court the judge started to talk of me only seeing my boy at weekends and i accepted a 50/50 5 days on 5 days off deal. perhaps a little too quickly. cafcasss were on my side. the hearing was on 3rd november.

Although i have asked, i have no access to the 7 year old as i think his mother knows how weak her relationship is with my son and leans on the other boy to look after my boy.

the last two times i have taken my boy for contact he has known whats going on and asked if he can go swimming instead. on the journey for contact on the 25th nov my son said to me "dont trust daddy" I was very shocked. he said it four times at least. I have a very strong bond with my son. it is, i think noteworthy his use of a phrase obviously pushed on him during contact with mum that he chose to use it only as i was taking him back to her for contact. he has said other things like "mummys better" but the trust comment he made is not open to interpretation.

Mum, did not turn up on the 25th for contact and didn't call. no contact on the 26th either. on the 27th she phoned saying she had got her days mixed up.

given her constant flighting from house and the 8 days she was missing (5 of which she admitted in court) can i get this case back to court and what should i be asking the court for? till now she has blamed me saying i was abusive, which for the record i was not, in fact i feel abused and controled. this excuse of hers doesn't hold for her any longer though.

[leclerc]

Re: Do i go back to court?

I'm a little confused by the above post because you have said contact is 50/50 but later on suggest that your son is living with you and that the mother has contact with the child....which is the case?

In terms of what the mother is doing in terms of indoctrination, it may be the case that the child is picking up on things said within the house. The courts will look solely at what is in the interests of the child and normally, that is served by having contact with both parents.

The missed dates are still important to keep a record of but I'm not sure at this stage whether you should approach the courts again after such a short time since the judgement ie 3rd November.

[dadworriedsick]

Re: Do i go back to court?

thanks. i see how thats confusing. i have 5 days then she has 5 days. what i meant was she didnt contact me for two days after the missed court order hand over day.

i think she will have been using drugs and wondered if i could go back to court to ask for hair strand. the timescale means she would probably pass a urine test. i count the hours i am apart from my son and dont understand how she could be two days before contacting me.

will i get a contact order for the other boy given i have no pr. the boys real father is completely out of the picture and would not get anything but supervised contact which was set previously by court at two 1 hour contacts a year but the father has not bothered. i would apply for pr but dont know how that would go given a poor relationship with mum.

also, i said she leans on the elder boy but also, whilst i have no contact with him it means that the only way the brothers can see each other is for my son to go to mum.

[leclerc]

Re: Do i go back to court?

This is a tough one to call because the law sees that both parents should be involved in the bringing up of that child. As you were not married to the mother then I'm not sure if the courts would look into contact with the eldest son. If the mother goes off and leaves the kids then perhaps there is a chance that you would be able to get more access with the child, if the birth father is out of the picture and wants nothing to do with the kid.

I think you can allow for one contact being delayed but if it continues then the court might have to get involved to enforce it since you cannot ignore a court ordered contact order.

[MissFM]

Re: Do i go back to court?

http://www.legalbeagles.info/forums/...ht=#post479918

Just popping on a link to your other thread DWS, as there's a lot of background info there which will help people advise.

Also wondering whether this sort of arrangement (below) might be a possibility for both children?

http://www.baaf.org.uk/info/kinship-...l-guardianship

See what others think. x

[dadworriedsick]

Re: Do i go back to court?

hi. i dont want the court to enforce the order. i want the court to reconsider the shared custody

[MissFM]

Re: Do i go back to court?

hi. i dont want the court to enforce the order. i want the court to reconsider the shared custody

Yes, I think I understand.

You need to apply to vary the existing court order (it's called residence, not custody, now). See here:

http://www.familylaw.co.uk/system/up...8/CB1_1108.pdf

It would, of course, be best to have a legal professional in your corner.

I would also, were I in your position, enlist the help of Social Services, particularly your Cafcass Officer. The link I put in post 5 was to a possible way you could reunite the siblings under your primary care (ie you could become a Special Guardian to the child that is not biologically yours).

Ideally (please correct me if I've got this wrong) you would like both children to be resident with you but to see their mother regularly when she is well enough?

[dadworriedsick]

Re: Do i go back to court?

hi, i think i would not be in this position if i had had a legal professional and i dont think i'm going to get one.

i would look after both children but the court doesnt even know there is anything wrong with my ex.

i've messed it all up and feel frustrated and very upset, especially watching how the contact with mum is negatively affecting his behaviour.

thank you for the links

i think social services will help if they can. I am going to ask the court for contact with the eldest boy and i think they will support the application on the q t if the judge calls them for an opinion