Nightmare with social services and ex girlfriends child abuse.

[saccadic]

Last Friday morning at 0630 I am awoken by the police looking for my ‘girlfriend’ as she is missing. They question me, search my house and go through my phone.

Friday morning, still no news and I collect my daughter. Social phone and said I was to have her until Tuesday and that the girlfriend was to have no unsupervised contact with her at any time what so ever. If I was to witness or for her to turn up asking to have my daughter I was to phone the police.

A DC arrived at my house at about midday saying the girlfriend has been arrested for child neglect and is in custody. He questions me about any contact with the girlfriend etc etc. Turns out she has checked in at a hotel, left my 3 year old daughter in the room and gone out drinking, arriving back at the hotel shit faced at 0930. Obviously, I’m shocked and very upset. Even more upset when he tells me it’s happened before, back in June.

Half way through the day I receive another phone call from social and was told that I was to return my daughter to the grandmother’s house.

I questioned this and was told that due to social talking to the grandmother, the police and the fact that I had previously had a restraining order, which ended last Nov, social wanted to investigate further, and that a social worker would be around on Monday. She also reprimanded me for turning the girlfriend away when she turned up at the house drunk the night before. Yet, the grandmother let her drive over to my house. Social said I should have taken my daughter from her, which would have caused all kinds of rage, or phoned the grandmother or police. Fair comment but the grandmother has also let her drive over while under the influence!

No social worker turned up on Monday, I queried this and asked if I could see my daughter. I was told that I was not to see my daughter and that someone would be round on the Tuesday.

Its Thursday tomorrow, still no sign of social worker and getting little answers when I phone up.

What’s really bothering me is that they have chosen to put my daughter back in the house of the person that has just committed a very serious crime against her and must have decided that I am too much of a risk.

Thing is, I have phoned the police, 999, twice for her to be removed from house because she was drunk and violent towards me whilst my daughter was in the house. I have made a non emergency call about her violence and sent them an email. I have also contacted social services about her behaviour and the fact that her dad battered her in her house with my child there (this was also reported to the police, who turned up). The ex has turned ended up in A and E with concussion, through drinking and falling over. She has been to the doctors regarding a massive bump on her head when she fell over drunk. She is unstable, on anti depressants and fights with her mum all the time.

So, there is all this recorded evidence of her dysfunction, drink and abuse, yet social see it more appropriate for my daughter to be in that house hold and I’m not to see her at all! What’s that about?

I know that the grandmother will have accused me of all sorts when she spoke to the social but that is all accusations.

Anyone relate or any advice?

[saccadic]

Re: Nightmare with social services and ex girlfriends child abuse.

Just to add; Ive PR, my daughter has been spending just as much time with me at my house and will be asking after dadda.

[Kati]

Re: Nightmare with social services and ex girlfriends child abuse.

Hi [MENTION=51037]saccadic[/MENTION] ... I am, so sorry that this has happened to you. Social Services should be taking any and all concerns you have about the safety of your child.

You need to put in a complaint straight away about your treatment, pointing out the fact that SS have now twice failed to attend arranged meetings, that the prolonged absence of her father must be stressful for your daughter, that you are worried about your girlfriend's access (while this matter is being dealt with) etc...

I know there are groups/forums that specialise in this type of situation (eg: the Family Rights Group - http://www.frg.org.uk/ParentsForum/ - who have lots of knowledgeable moderators/members) and can offer advice tailored to your needs.

Please do not think I am fobbing you off with this response - far from it. I am more than willing to help you in any way that I can (as all the other Beagles will be too). If you need any help/advice you are more than welcome to PM me (or post on this thread) and I will do all I can.

Kati x

[leclerc]

Re: Nightmare with social services and ex girlfriends child abuse.

Is there an agreement in place over supervised or unsupervised contact?

I have to be blunt off the bat here(so that others also are aware) I despise social workers with a passion and I have very deep seated reasons and personal experience of this.

I personally believe you need to have a record of all contact you have with social workers including their name.

I have a suspicion as to what they might be looking at which might be something called an Initial Child Protection Case Conference....

[saccadic]

Re: Nightmare with social services and ex girlfriends child abuse.

Thanks Kati and thanks for the offer to contact you. I will check out the link and I am keeping notes to make a complaint when things have moved on a bit, need them fully on my side at the moment.

[saccadic]

Re: Nightmare with social services and ex girlfriends child abuse.

Is there an agreement in place over supervised or unsupervised contact?

I have to be blunt off the bat here(so that others also are aware) I despise social workers with a passion and I have very deep seated reasons and personal experience of this.

I personally believe you need to have a record of all contact you have with social workers including their name.

I have a suspicion as to what they might be looking at which might be something called an Initial Child Protection Case Conference....

There is no agreement in place between me and my daughters mother regarding contact. Her bail conditions are that she is not to be unsupervised with my child, yet they put her in the house with her. Are the grandparents keeping an eye on her in their sleep?! I am seriously concerned and my anxiety levels are through the roof.

I've been told that the next step is most likely to be a family group conference.

[Kati]

Re: Nightmare with social services and ex girlfriends child abuse.

There is no agreement in place bewteen me and my daughters mother regarding contact. Her bail conditions are that she is not to be unsupervised with my child, yet they put her in the house with her. Are the grandparents keeping an eye on her in their sleep?! I am seriously concerned and my anxiety levels are through the roof.

I've been told that the next step is most likely to be a family group conference.

Keep a note of everything .... you have the right to take a friend and/or legal representation with you to any meetings. You can always record any telephone calls (inform them first tho') and it might be better to insist on all contact between SS and yourself to be written (letters or emails are both acceptable)

Try to keep calm when dealing with SS as they have been known to use the slightest upset as a reason to cease the process.

I've got everything crossed for a good result for you and your daughter [MENTION=51037]saccadic[/MENTION] xxx

[Kati]

Re: Nightmare with social services and ex girlfriends child abuse.

I have to be blunt off the bat here(so that others also are aware) I despise social workers with a passion and I have very deep seated reasons and personal experience of this.

many people I know do too

I have a suspicion as to what they might be looking at which might be something called an Initial Child Protection Case Conference....

See here: http://www.safeguardingchildren.co.u...rocedures.html

Purpose of an Initial Child Protection Conference

The Initial Child Protection Conference brings together family members (and the child where appropriate), supporters/advocates and those professionals most involved with the child and family following a S47 enquiry. Its purpose is to:

• Bring together and analyse, in an inter-agency setting, the information that has been obtained about the child's developmental needs, and the parents' or carers' capacity to respond to these needs;
• Ensure the child's safety and promote the child's health and development within the context of their wider family and environment;
• Consider the evidence presented to the Conference and taking into account the child's present situation and information about his or her family history and present and past family functioning, make judgments about the likelihood of a child suffering significant harm in future. Also decide whether the child is at continuing risk of significant harm;
• Decide what future action is required to safeguard and promote the welfare of the child, including the child becoming the subject of a Child Protection Plan, what the planned developmental outcomes are for the child and how best to intervene to achieve these;
• Allocate a lead social worker from Children's Social Care for each child who requires a Child Protection Plan. The key worker is responsible for ensuring that the Child Protection Plan is developed, co-ordinated and fully implemented to timescales;
• Identify a multi-agency core group to develop and monitor implementation of the Child Protection Plan.

Convening an initial conference

An Initial Child Protection Conference must be convened when concerns of significant harm are substantiated and the child is judged to be suffering, or likely to suffer, significant harm.
The conference must consider all the children in the household, even if concerns are only being expressed about one child.
For all cases going to a conference there should have been a Strategy Meeting/Discussion and a referral to the Police.
The Team Manager is responsible for making the decision to convene a Child Protection Conference. The reasons for calling it (or deciding not to call a conference following completion of a S47 enquiry) must be recorded (NYSCB Procedures Section 6.16) within the child or young person's ICS case file.
A request for an initial conference from any involved professional, which is supported by a senior manager/named or designated professional in their agency, should normally be agreed. If Children's Social Care does not agree, a meeting to discuss this should be held as a matter of urgency. The meeting should involve the responsible Group Manager, or their representative, from Children's Social Care. (See also Section 15, 'Resolution of a Professional Disagreement')
Criteria for Convening an Initial Child Protection Conference

An Initial Child Protection Conference is to be held where, following the Strategy Meeting and Section 47 child protection enquiries, concerns of significant harm are substantiated and the child is judged to be suffering, or likely to suffer, significant harm. This includes:

• Where a child is suffering or likely to suffer significant harm caused by any person with whom the child lives or has significant contact;
• Where a child is suffering or likely to suffer significant harm due to failure on the part of the parent/carer to provide adequate protection;
• Where there are mounting concerns for a child and it is believed the child needs a Child Protection Plan;
• Where there is an unborn baby for whom a Child Protection Plan needs to be made (this applies whether or not Children's Social Care intend to seek a Court Order on the birth of the child);
• Where a person who is likely to pose a risk to the child has joined or is planning to join the family or has significant contact;
• When an Emergency Protection Order has been obtained;
• Where a child, subject to a court order, is to be placed with a parent/carer and agencies consider this will put the child at risk of significant harm;
• Where an application for a court order has been refused and the child is still considered to be at risk of significant harm in the care of their parents/carers;
• When a child who is subject to a Child Protection Plan in another area moves to live in North Yorkshire;
• Where a Child Protection Plan was not made/ discontinued, due to an agreed long-term plan to protect the child but there has been a significant change to this plan;
• Where a child has died as a result of the parenting or care received and there are other children in the household.

Timing of an Initial Child Protection Conference

All Initial Child Protection Conferences should take place within 15 working days of:

• the strategy meeting (at which the S47 enquiries were initiated); or
• Notification by another authority that a child subject to a child protection plan has moved into North Yorkshire.

Where a Child Assessment Order has been made, the conference should be held immediately on conclusion of examinations and assessments.
Where a child has been subject to an Emergency Protection Order the Conference should be held in time to agree next steps prior to the end of the Emergency Protection Order.
Where there is delay, this must be reported by the IRO Manager to the Group Manager, Children's Social Care ( including the reasons for the delay) and Children's Social Care must ensure risks of harm to the child are monitored and action taken to safeguard the child.

[leclerc]

Re: Nightmare with social services and ex girlfriends child abuse.

Kati, I know their procedure inside out and back to front .

I know who they are supposed to work and I know how they actually work. I also am aware of FGC's that I believe originated in New Zealand as it was about giving support or providing an alternative home to a child but within the family so that other issues can be addressed. My suspicion on Child protection conference was based on two aspects, the mother's drinking and the issue around the restraining order potentially.

FGM is good but will it include friends and family from just the mother or will the father and his family have an input?

[Kati]

Re: Nightmare with social services and ex girlfriends child abuse.

Kati, I know their procedure inside out and back to front .

I know who they are supposed to work and I know how they actually work. I also am aware of FGC's that I believe originated in New Zealand as it was about giving support or providing an alternative home to a child but within the family so that other issues can be addressed. My suspicion on Child protection conference was based on two aspects, the mother's drinking and the issue around the restraining order potentially.

FGM is good but will it include friends and family from just the mother or will the father and his family have an input?

I hope (for everyone involved) that anything that happens will include ALL concerned!! As the OP has Parental Responsibility, he should have a say throughout the whole process xx

[saccadic]

Re: Nightmare with social services and ex girlfriends child abuse.

I hope (for everyone involved) that anything that happens will include ALL concerned!! As the OP has Parental Responsibility, he should have a say throughout the whole process xx

I was told the conference would be for me, the mother and extended family.

[leclerc]

Re: Nightmare with social services and ex girlfriends child abuse.

I was told the conference would be for me, the mother and extended family.

Why is the mother not involved or are they having a separate FGM?


EDIT: I need to go to specsavers

[saccadic]

Re: Nightmare with social services and ex girlfriends child abuse.

What sort of questions can I expect when they finally come round to visit? I'm worried that I won't be able to convey the extent of her emotional abuse ie silent treatment and blackmail. She has a history of abusive realtionships and is very good at playing the victim, deflecting and lying. She exhibits all the characteristics of borderline personality disorder. Im passive and she is agressive, so we've locked together. How much knowledge do social workers have of personality disorders and mental abuse?

[leclerc]

Re: Nightmare with social services and ex girlfriends child abuse.

What sort of questions can I expect when they finally come round to visit? I'm worried that I won't be able to convey the extent of her emotional abuse ie silent treatment and blackmail. She has a history of abusive realtionships and is very good at playing the victim, deflecting and lying. She exhibits all the characteristics of borderline personality disorder. Im passive and she is agressive, so we've locked together. How much knowledge do social workers have of personality disorders and mental abuse?

It's my personal opinion that you focus solely on what is in the best interests of your child. If that means that the mother goes on alcohol awareness courses then that would be useful or if that means formalising contact with your child(supervised or otherwise) then remember that it will be in the interests of the child to have contact with you.

Don't focus on necessarily the negatives of your former partner but on the positive aspects that having contact will bring the child. If you focus too much on negative aspects of the mother then it could be suggested you were more concerned with points scoring than on what your child wants and on what you child will need to flourish.

[Kati]

Re: Nightmare with social services and ex girlfriends child abuse.

What sort of questions can I expect when they finally come round to visit? I'm worried that I won't be able to convey the extent of her emotional abuse ie silent treatment and blackmail. She has a history of abusive realtionships and is very good at playing the victim, deflecting and lying. She exhibits all the characteristics of borderline personality disorder. Im passive and she is agressive, so we've locked together. How much knowledge do social workers have of personality disorders and mental abuse?

I would suggest you write everything down that you think might help explain your 'case' - most social workers I've had dealings with over the years are not knowledgeable in many aspects of this type of thing