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Social Services
Hi
This is going to be a long post so i apologise now as this is all very complicated!
My husbands mum was diagnosed with Dementia about 4 years ago. My husband has LPA but has not enforced it as he didn't want to take away her independence. We both arranged for her to have carers go in and make sure she ate, took her meds and just generally make sure she was ok.
Back in 2012 (Xmas) My husband and I were going down south to visit my children and we were going to put his mum in a care home while we were away so we knew she would be ok. She got all upset by this idea so we arranged for some other family member to stay with her while we were away. On our way down South our car's engine seized up and it was all a massive nightmare and when we had a quote to get it fixed my husband asked his mum if she could lend him the money to get it fixed which she lent him no problem. A few weeks later we had a call from Social Services asking what the large withdrawal on his mum's bank statement was for! (At no time were SS given permission to open his mums mail or go through her finances) I told them that we were aware of the withdrawal and that it was between my husband and his mum. Big mistake as it turns out! This was April/may 2013!
Back in May this year I got home to a calling card from CID, I rang them and a CID woman came round and said that SS had made an allegation that we had stolen money from his mum. They searched my house (Voluntarily)and I went down the station to give a statement. My husband has no need to steal off of his mum as she has always either lent him the money or given it to him. The police wanted to interview my husband too but as he is a European lorry driver getting the timing right etc was nigh on impossible. He rang the staion several times to make an appointment but it was either the investigating officers day off or she was on shift when my husband was away again. We have not heard from the police since May!
SS have taken POA and said that my husband is a 3rd party and that he has no say whatsoever over his mums affairs or well being! The care plan has been changed without our knowledge and her pension now gets paid into an account that she cannot access. They give her pocket money and will not let her have her house re decorated (not been done for last 15yrs or so) The porchway on her house is rotting away and they will not let her have someone come out and get the work done. They had the local council come out and replace her boiler which we were getting sorted for her and they have made a complete balls up of it! This is her own house and not council. Her hoover is so old that even I have problems pushing it around and they will not let her replace it, she is 84 and has a frozen shoulder so pushing this hoover around is really hard for her. When i go to clean her house i have to take my own hoover so I can do the hoovering.
We have asked on numerous occasions for a meeting so my husband and his mum can explain that the money was not stolen and that she keeps telling him that she would rather him have the money now than when she is gone! ( He is an only child) SS have refused a meeting, they will not speak to my husband at all, they will not answer his calls!
When we first called in SS for help with his mum i gave them my husbands letter showing that he has POA and explained that he had not yet enforced it. SS say that they have never had proof of this. We have since given them proof yet again!
I get home from work today and there is a letter for my husband from them saying that they have applied for full POA for her . It is a COP. My husband has to fill this in saying that he opposes their application.
I just think that this could have all been cleared up with a family meeting! His mum has gone to her solicitor and they want an independant evaluation done on her but obviously they want money to do this which SS are REFUSING to allow her. May i just add that my mother in law and my husband arranged this POA way before she had dementia!
We are all very angry and upset about all this. My husband has not been himself since all this started, he doesn't sleep well and that worries me as he drives 44 ton lorries!
My friend is a carer in a different part of the country and she cannot believe that our SS have not called a family meeting. She also told me to go online a to the Office of Public Guardian which i have done but i dont understand it and i don't want to keep bothering my friend! Any help will be greatly recieved.
I know there are some unscrupulous people out there who would fleece their family etc but I promise you my husband isn't like that and he and his mum have a wonderful relationship.
This is going to be a long post so i apologise now as this is all very complicated!
My husbands mum was diagnosed with Dementia about 4 years ago. My husband has LPA but has not enforced it as he didn't want to take away her independence. We both arranged for her to have carers go in and make sure she ate, took her meds and just generally make sure she was ok.
Back in 2012 (Xmas) My husband and I were going down south to visit my children and we were going to put his mum in a care home while we were away so we knew she would be ok. She got all upset by this idea so we arranged for some other family member to stay with her while we were away. On our way down South our car's engine seized up and it was all a massive nightmare and when we had a quote to get it fixed my husband asked his mum if she could lend him the money to get it fixed which she lent him no problem. A few weeks later we had a call from Social Services asking what the large withdrawal on his mum's bank statement was for! (At no time were SS given permission to open his mums mail or go through her finances) I told them that we were aware of the withdrawal and that it was between my husband and his mum. Big mistake as it turns out! This was April/may 2013!
Back in May this year I got home to a calling card from CID, I rang them and a CID woman came round and said that SS had made an allegation that we had stolen money from his mum. They searched my house (Voluntarily)and I went down the station to give a statement. My husband has no need to steal off of his mum as she has always either lent him the money or given it to him. The police wanted to interview my husband too but as he is a European lorry driver getting the timing right etc was nigh on impossible. He rang the staion several times to make an appointment but it was either the investigating officers day off or she was on shift when my husband was away again. We have not heard from the police since May!
SS have taken POA and said that my husband is a 3rd party and that he has no say whatsoever over his mums affairs or well being! The care plan has been changed without our knowledge and her pension now gets paid into an account that she cannot access. They give her pocket money and will not let her have her house re decorated (not been done for last 15yrs or so) The porchway on her house is rotting away and they will not let her have someone come out and get the work done. They had the local council come out and replace her boiler which we were getting sorted for her and they have made a complete balls up of it! This is her own house and not council. Her hoover is so old that even I have problems pushing it around and they will not let her replace it, she is 84 and has a frozen shoulder so pushing this hoover around is really hard for her. When i go to clean her house i have to take my own hoover so I can do the hoovering.
We have asked on numerous occasions for a meeting so my husband and his mum can explain that the money was not stolen and that she keeps telling him that she would rather him have the money now than when she is gone! ( He is an only child) SS have refused a meeting, they will not speak to my husband at all, they will not answer his calls!
When we first called in SS for help with his mum i gave them my husbands letter showing that he has POA and explained that he had not yet enforced it. SS say that they have never had proof of this. We have since given them proof yet again!
I get home from work today and there is a letter for my husband from them saying that they have applied for full POA for her . It is a COP. My husband has to fill this in saying that he opposes their application.
I just think that this could have all been cleared up with a family meeting! His mum has gone to her solicitor and they want an independant evaluation done on her but obviously they want money to do this which SS are REFUSING to allow her. May i just add that my mother in law and my husband arranged this POA way before she had dementia!
We are all very angry and upset about all this. My husband has not been himself since all this started, he doesn't sleep well and that worries me as he drives 44 ton lorries!
My friend is a carer in a different part of the country and she cannot believe that our SS have not called a family meeting. She also told me to go online a to the Office of Public Guardian which i have done but i dont understand it and i don't want to keep bothering my friend! Any help will be greatly recieved.
I know there are some unscrupulous people out there who would fleece their family etc but I promise you my husband isn't like that and he and his mum have a wonderful relationship.
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