Domestic violence what will happen next ?

[Kati]

Re: Domestic violence what will happen next ?

When he was so badly beaten he ended up in hospital with a possible collasped lung, the police were called and he said "My gf flipped out!"
The copper looked at his partner, laughed and said "Not feasible mate!" and walked off!!

I've seen a 5'3 woman jump on the back of her partner (who was over 6') and beat him round the head with a table leg :tinysmile_cry_t: - he wouldn't do anything to protect himself either, but it took 5 of us to get her to stop and hold her down!!

[merry paul]

Re: Domestic violence what will happen next ?

hi,

Unfortunately, the police can still charge him even after you have withdrawn your statement - they have (to my knowledge) been able to do this for a while now. As his bail conditions state that you are to have no contact whatsoever, that will have to be adhered to until such a time as the courts decide otherwise (if he breaks his bail conditions, he will be placed on remand until the trial).

If he has been charged and bailed, a court will look more favourably on a 'guilty' plea than a lie. If you are determined to go back to him after the trial it might help to write a letter to the courts telling your side of the story - although it is my own opinion (and I mean no offence by saying this) that you might both be well advised to think very hard about continuing in a relationship where violence has occurred.

thanks

[stevemLS]

Re: Domestic violence what will happen next ?

There is nothing to prevent OP contacting partner's solicitor - that is not contact.

Indirect contact would be contacting partner's mum/brother/dog etc.

As far as I know, it is now CPS policy to pursue all DV allegations regardless of the wishes of the victim. This arises precisely because for years on end it was "only a domestic".

[icon187]

Re: Domestic violence what will happen next ?

Hi All,

sorry to bump this thread, but i thought it may be better to as its pretty much a similar situation.

In short, me and fiance had a blazing row on Monday 3/11/14, she said a lot of horrible stuff and i took it, i continued to stay in the house while waiting for a lift from a friend to get me out of there for a few hours.

Unfortunately with it being a Monday he was working so i new i would have to ride it out for another few hours before he was able to finish.

In the end the verbal abuse was getting worse and worse till the point she said "you killed our baby" and i retaliated by saying something equally as horrible to her "Maybe it was for the best that you miscarried because look at how horrible you are being"

obviously it didn't go down well, which led her to hit me. i didn't hit back nor would i, she then said she was ringing my mum of all things.. bare in mind we are both mid 20s. she picked up the phone (mine) and went to call her! i lunged forwards to snatch my phone back and i did, but in the process i grabbed her shirt also and while grabbing my phone back her shirt got ripped. this made her even angrier and she called the police as a scare tactic.

Police came, arrested me. kept me in the cells for 12 hours or so. took my fiances statement where she said she doesn't want any thing to happen, not willing to go to court or take it further etc. But as we know that no longer matters, i was released with no charge or anything BUT the female superintendent decided it would be a good idea to invoke the DVPO. a court date was set for 5/11/14 while i didn't have to attend personally i chose to, as did my fiance to back up her statement that she did not want any of this and of course neither did i.

While in court, the officer who was pushing for the order brought a statement from last year in which i had actually called the police on her for hitting me but due to the fact we were both drunk and angry and both making accusations i was the one arrested. again, no charges were made and i was let go the next day. on this time (the 1st time) she had a friend there who made up a false statement and later retracted it and admitted she had lied to the police officer but they still used that exact statement in court on Wednesday!! how is that even fair or legal? using a statement against me that was found to be a total lie?

Anyway, this DVPO has been enforced for 21 days. and expires on midnight 25/11/14. despite my fiance being in court and saying she did not want this, agree with this and felt that the police have blown this way OTT

We are both really not happy about this and feel that in effect we are being punished and exploited due to this new order that the police are rolling out, while i actually agree with the reasoning and theory behind the order, i mean it could be great for actual real victims of abuse who are generally scared to speak up on there own. we both feel that this has been used wrongly and goes against basic human rights. As it is that new there are no reported cases of this order being misused. If i want to appeal it i can.. but the DVPO stays in effect still till the trail date which could be a lot longer then 21 days.

Its a horrible situation which neither wanted but we cannot do a thing about. I feel this is where the law has actually really let people down rather than help.

[Amethyst]

Re: Domestic violence what will happen next ?

To be honest, I think it is great that it is being so well enforced. Your situation I can understand is difficult, however having the police called out to a minor domestic reported just to annoy the other party is damaging to real victims as well, as it's actually quite a good deterrent of false accusations once it becomes more public knowledge that once you report DV you won't be retracting it any time soon. For DV victims who do speak up to the police, sometimes they are encouraged to withdraw their statement, or their confidence fails and they do so off their own back - so to know that the magistrates will take matters into their own hands is a good thing. 14-28 days is the right timescale too.

I suspect the DVPO will become quite controversial and the above is just my view.

So I don't feel the DVPO has been misused at all, and you do have the opportunity to appeal it.

[icon187]

Re: Domestic violence what will happen next ?

Totally agree that its damaging to real victims as the police time could be used better on real issues. i think the issue i'm finding quite frustrating is the simple fact i have been ordered all these things when in reality if it was done on a case by case and they know really its been a waste of time as no charges are being issued and complaint being made. then surely the problem lies with the person who made the call, in effect wasting police time? as i said in my post i think this is a really good idea and could save a lot of lives for people who do suffer from real abuse.

As for the appeal its not really an opportunity as such, its more like it or lump it. appealing it will only make it last longer

[Amethyst]

Re: Domestic violence what will happen next ?

I agree in part, but it is a difficult one. In real abuse situations if the complainant is pressured into changing their statement / withdrawing charges - should they then be subject to action over making a false report/wasting police time? There was a case in the media this week where a young woman took her own life because she was being prosecuted for making a rape allegation which was not prosecuted on http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-29946823 . If an accusation is withdrawn and a DVPO is dropped and the abuse continues / worsens - what then ?

Others where DV was reported - http://www.ipcc.gov.uk/news/ipcc-fin...being-murdered - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...ust-years.html - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england...ester-13506721 - ok maybe some extreme examples there but you get what I mean.

Sorry I think you just have to both learn lessons from it and look forwards.

Others may have entirely different views to me.

[righty]

Re: Domestic violence what will happen next ?

Sorry Icon but your fiance didn't waste police time. You have admitted you tore her shirt violently. Therefore she had every right to call them. You also mention that on an earlier date you called the police accusing her of assaulting you!. It does appear that you both have a somewhat violent nature.
Once the Rubicon has been crossed there's little chance of you both going back certainly not without professional help which I strongly suggest you seek that help before it gets worse as it certainly will

[righty]

Re: Domestic violence what will happen next ?

I would also add that its not my intention to judge either of you but being much older I know what will happen unless you both take steps to confront both your behaviours