Parental responsibility

[GIDH]

Hi, I'm looking for some quite specific advice regarding a parental responsibility issue.

My partner has full parental responsibility for his 3 children who reside with their Mother, there is a court order in place defining access that was made by agreement 4 and a half years ago. One of the agreed contacts is a mid week tea time, the arrangement is that the children are to be collected directly from school and returned home later in the evening, the relationship between my partner and his ex is very fractious and historically his ex has never been accommodating of any changes being made to the order that have been requested by my partner, work dictates (different job to when the order was put in place) that the mid week access is becoming very difficult to manage and my partner struggles to be able to leave work to make it to the school on time for pick ups, this situation arose again yesterday and my partner contacted the school and asked that the children be taken into the after school club until he arrived. The childrens mother and her boyfriend (who resides with them) have created a massive drama about this and have claimed my partner has to seek mothers permission before allowing the children to be in any ones care ( including after school club) other than a family member. This seems absurd to us, this was on his court ordered time and surely given he has full parental responsibility this is a decision he is entitled to make by himself ? could anyone confirm this to be the case and also (apologies for going on) if it is the case he has to seek her permission does it not follow that she must seek his given he has PR ?

Thanks in advance

[Inca]

Re: Parental responsibility

Hi and to LegalBeagles...
Is/has Cafcass or Social Services involved at all?
It may well be time to ask for a revision of the contact order through the courts.
There's a website called www.fnf.org.uk which may be of help to you in the meantime,,other folks will pop by and help you too (on here).....and don't apologise for 'going on'...cases involving children are always complex and the more info you can give the easier it is for anyone to help

[MissFM]

Re: Parental responsibility

Hi GIDH

I think you are most likely right legally - but that's not really the point, is it?

The best thing to do would (obviously) be to discuss this openly and amicably with the mother, with a view to finding the best solution for you all - particularly the children. Sometimes, though, an amicable discussion isn't possible and that's what Cafcass (and mediation, and, as a final resort, the courts) are for.

It seems crazy that your OH's precious time with his children is not actually spent with them due to work commitments and I would imagine the children would have been very disappointed, too, which may be what's behind their mother's wobbly, especially if it were sprung on them as a fait accompli.

I agree with Inca that it is most likely a good time to restructure; I really hope you will all be able to achieve this through informal discussions with the children's needs coming first.

[leclerc]

Re: Parental responsibility

I kinda think it's a bit of both ie have a discussion with the ex to see if something amicable can be arranged and if that is not possible then the court route is where it will lie albeit likelihood of mediation these days to avoid court time might be something that would be considered.

[Inca]

Re: Parental responsibility

One thing I will say though,,the older the kids get the damn sight easier stuff like this gets cos the kids get a voice and a choice.
My OH's ex refused to let him see his daughter,,,he went through courts/mediation and now she's near 15 he sees her as and when they choose.
If the ex pulled the 'you're not seeing her' stunt again the daughter has said she'll get a train over here lol