Caring

[charitynjw]

Re: Caring

Dads last SW is West Indian I think and is very hard to understand both myself and my sister have trouble understanding
Enaid xx

It's your Mancunian accent, I reckon!

:scared::bolt:

[enaid]

Re: Caring

Well am up at this shit hour cause I am full of a cold and cant stop coughing.
Sat here watching what I missed last night and phone rings, dad on his way to hospital as he has fallen in his room (that supposedly has a sensor in to detect if he tries to get out of bed in the night) anyway gashes to head and has hurt his back is talking and seems fine but has to go to hospital to be checked out. On pins now and don't know how this will affect him coming home as that's all he wants do now and for as much as I know he wont stop falling he may as well do it in his own home as in a place he dislikes and don't really seem to offer any better or even on a level the care he gets at home.

[Inca]

Re: Caring

Robs Dad went through a stage of dismantling the electricals in his room...he was caught playing with the bare wires!!
He also demolished the 'crash ' mat and the alarm sensor and you don't want to know what else he fiddled with!.
The parent becoming the child is a shitty scenario,,I have been blessed (for want of a better expression,Mum died of lung disease,Dad of a massive heart attack,,Robs Mum of natural causes and his Dad of cancer so none of them had decreased brain power.........any way,,good luck and a huge hug from me xxxxxxxxxxx

[CYNthesys]

Re: Caring

Sorry to read your update re your dad enaid, I do know what you are going through, have experienced it all.
I would ask to see his medication chart, that ought to show if he is being doped up everytime he starts to get restless. Maybe his medication is partly responsible for his falls?
Any reports made by his social worker, I would go through them with a fine tooth comb. I had a massive fall out with my late husbands ASW as he wrote up negative reports that misrepresented the situation and twisted conversations that I had had with him. I was threatened that a court application would be made to displace me as my husbands nearest relative
Just be on your guard
xx

[enaid]

Re: Caring

Thanks Cyn, we thought we were sorted tbh just awaiting a meeting when we got a social worker we could have a proper meeting with. I have to wait for the manager to get back to me and she has till lunch time to do so or I will be on to her.
Don't know how long they keep dad in hospital if anyhting like the last couple of times he be in A&E for 7 hours. So just hanging fire but after all that's happened in the place he is in now no way can they say he can't come home.

[Turboman]

Re: Caring

Thankyou for allowing me to share this thread Enaid
I have had no experience of these matters and despair at your experiences
You are a very strong lady

[labman]

Re: Caring

Hi Enaid,

Again, this is almost like reliving the past year and a bit for me, and it is horrible for you. Cyn has a very good point about looking at records. We insisted all the time on looking at the records and it's surprising what they can reveal. We discovered one weekend there was nobody there qualified to give Dad the medicine he needed for his epilepsy, so he simply hadn't had it. Equally the night checks etc...

You probably know this, but you may need to push for the social worker and a meeting. The care plan is dritical to get right, as anyone who may come in to support will only do what is written on the care plan. We discovered this the hard way. Absolutely everything that needs doing needs to be written down.

The falls are a difficult issue. Obviously you must think of your Dad, but you must also think of yourself as well. You need to be able to have a life. I don't know your personal circumstances, but I can share ours with you. The decisions are impossible as, as I said earlier, nothing can be right for everyone, it is all a compromise.

I genuinely feel for you going through this, and hope you have someone smiling down on you to help you in the days ahead.

[enaid]

Re: Caring

Well had to ring her as it was getting obvious I wasn't getting the call I was waiting for.
She was still of the mind that I was happy with the social worker assigned to dad if she explained to him about dads dementia and hard of hearing, I said no its his accent that is hard to understand for both myself and my sister my dad would find him impossible to understand.
So now am waiting for a duty one to make the arrangements and they better be snappy.
Hospital just rang dad is being discharged right now and waiting or an ambulance to take him back to the assessment centre.
We have private carers who come in twice a day, initially dad refused any help but we managed to drip feed it in and now he accepts it although has his moments lol
We will arrange for 3 visits and hopefully get a bed downstairs so upstairs will be off limits and when we move (fingers crossed very soon) he can come to ours with his carer and have a nice long shower in our wet room.
I have just watched a lady MP give her experience of her husbands last moments, that's not happening to my dad while I am in charge.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/he...-hospital.html

[labman]

Re: Caring

That is very sad. If it's any consolation, my Dad's passing could not have been more different. The hospital were lovely, the nurses and doctors were superb. The end was very dignified and peaceful.

However - you are not at that stage yet. You have other battles to fight for yourselves and your Dad. You know what you want; more importantly you know your Dad's wishes, and from the very little I know of you, I am sure of one thing - you will do your damndest to ensure everything possible is done to make the future for your Dad as good as it can be.

(I can't put a smiley, my waggy dogs turned into a pumpkin which wouldn't be quite the same!)

[Sapphire]

Re: Caring

Oh Di I've read this all the way through and I know that I have neglected you badly.

I can't add anything as I have no experience of what your going through, both my parents passed suddenly of heart attacks and from what I'm reading/hearing I think that we had a result that they went that way. I know my friend Jacquies parents went through the same as your dad and I saw how harrowing it was for them all.

I'm sending you ((((Hugs)))) and kisses and want to assure you that I am here if you need me at all.

Love you.

xxx

[Sapphire]

Re: Caring

Hi Di, hows Dad ?

[enaid]

Re: Caring

Hi sappy x,
Meeting arranged for tomorrow afternoon, I told him yesterday he would have to behave and go along with what is said. We had a laugh and our son came with us he was very pleased to see him.
So all being well he hopefully will be out next week but we have a couple of jobs to do on his house if he's having a bed downstairs.
When I think we have been trying to get him to move either into sheltered or possibly a residential place for his care and safety for about 3 years it has only taken about 3 weeks to do a complete U Turn and decide he's better off in his own home. We can't prevent the falls and neither could any of the places he's been in, he will have carers who do care and decent food. A no brainer really.
Thanks for asking xx

[enaid]

Re: Caring

Meeting went very well dad should be home next week, have to sort his house out, by that I mean get rid of clutter making down stairs his home. He needs a new single bed and some extra bits from OT debt, also a sensor on his bed that alerts Care on Call when he is out of bed in the night.They will give him a time that we set before he gets back in bed say 30 mins and if he hasn't they will go out to him. He already has a pendant he can press when he falls and can't get up that he wears round his neck and presses if he needs help. They also have the smoke alarm fitted through his phone in case of a fire.
Can not say how relieved I am it went so well, can also say will still worry about him but at least I know he will be well cared for and as safe as any one can make him.
Thanks to everyone as always fro your help and input with this xx

[Inca]

Re: Caring

Awww..that's great news hun....really hoping it all works out well for you and your Dad xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Sapphire]

Re: Caring

Thanks for the updates hunny, I know from our 'chats' what you've been through and how horrid you have felt all the way through this.
Please remember I'm here or on phone whenever you need a natter (((Hugs)))