Childs Contact Order

[helpinhand]

Hi All,

I've been going through procedings with my ex regarding my son for nearly 6 years,he previously had a court order which the judge based around his shift pattern.Since the last contact order was put in place June 2011 my ex has lost his property an has no where to live he's currently staying where he can,he refuses to communicate with me to arrange contact and has changed his mobile number.He hasn't stuck to the order E.g. not turning up for contact and turning up at my house to see if his son is ok..Not once asked to have his son in compliance with the order,Now he is trying to use the order against me with the police after nearly 2 years of breaking the order himself!

Recently he has been constantly turning up as he pleases on days he doesn't have an order for being abusive and threatening infront of my son.

So the question im asking is how do i know if the contact order is still live? and how do i go about removing the contact order if it is?

Thanks

[SickotheCSA]

Re: Childs Contact Order

Having gone through similar things myself with my ex, to be honest I don't think the contact orders are worth the paper they are written on. The police on either side are only going to keep the peace and will not get involved in enforcing an order unless they are asked to by the court. If it was an order that you put in place it can be as simple as informing the ex, best through a solicitor, that you are no longer abiding by the order. If it is the ex who got the order then you can do the same but you risk the wrath of the court if he takes it back, or you can take it back to court to argue for a change or cancellation, being more difficult.

If your ex continues to be a nuisance, make sure that you report every incident to the police as it may well help you in time.


i only offer the above from experience and a legal advice might be best sought.


good luck

[SickotheCSA]

Re: Childs Contact Order

I should add that unless stated otherwise the order is still valid until a stated date or the child reaches a suitable age........I believe.

[helpinhand]

Re: Childs Contact Order

Thanks for your reply

I have been logging everything with them,I reported the most recent incident the officer was egar to serve a warning to my ex to stop him turning up...However my ex is saying he has a live court order,the police can't serve him with a warning if its live.

My sol closed my case 6months ago due to my ex not responding to her letters and refusing mediation.She last advised me to go back to the police and ask for a warning to be served to him.

Unsure what else i can do :/

[helpinhand]

Re: Childs Contact Order

Would you class a suitable age as 16-18 though?

My son is 12 and knows his own mind,he hasn't wanted contact with his father for a number of years.I've always tried to promote contact but there is only so much you can put up with.

[teaboy2]

Re: Childs Contact Order

He may have a live order, but that doesn't give he the right to act in breach of the protection from harassment act 1997 (a criminal offense) - Tell him to speak to his solicitors otherwise you will bring harassment proceedings against him, reminding him that it was he that breached the order originally, not you. Put it in writing to him and if need be have the officer give it to him next time he turns up.

[Inca]

Re: Childs Contact Order

Your solicitor closed your case because he didn't stick to the court order? Time to get a new solicitor love.
He's refused mediaton? Basically,he's blatantly sticking 2 fingers up to the court.
As per the advice above..log every single incident..and keep calling the cops out.
Get yourself a free half hour with a new solicitor and tell them you feel threatened by him and need a restraining order.
Contact Cafcass,your sons school,doctor,etc and get evidence it is affecting your son.
Contact God and all his angels if necessary but get him stopped and banned from coming near your house.
Your son is of an age now where HIS opinions,likes and dislikes count.

It's going to be a slog...and it probably won't be easy..but anything and everything you do KEEP A RECORD..get police badge numbers and names etc,,take names of people you speak to on the phone etc.
Oh and most important..KEEP CALM..and don't slag him off to your child.(tempting though it is lol)

Always pop back on this thread if you need any advice,help or just somewhere to vent your anger.

Good Luck xx

[helpinhand]

Re: Childs Contact Order

Thank you both for your reply,it means a lot

I did get the impression that my solicitor has had enough,unfortunately I've had a handful of different sol's and all have given up on my case over the 5years I've been trying to resolve this mess.

I really do feel its best to go back to court an get this order stopped and put a stop to my ex doing as he pleases.


Everybody needs a vent I agree there

[Inca]

Re: Childs Contact Order

When I say 'been there,done that' re children I can promise you it's true..I'm 50 years old and only JUST finished with courts re kids (my stepdaughter)

I totally agree with you,,get it back in court..and one day..not yet but one day..your child will thank you for it.

[helpinhand]

Re: Childs Contact Order

Your strong

I have spoken to the court today,who tell me the order is still live.I contacted a solicitor who tells me i have another 4 years to put up with all this abuse.Apparently there isn't anything i can do to get the order removed,when the ex is breaching the order i can't force him to have the contact he has agreed to..However he can take me back to court for breaching the order if i don't make my son availible for contact on the days set (Even though he hasn't bothered keeping to the contact orde,or asked for contact with his son for so long!)...He also told me that logging everything doesn't matter because the court aren't interested past events and it could cost me £4,000 and i may not even get an outcome if the court doesn't agree.

[Inca]

Re: Childs Contact Order

No No No No...that doesn't sound right at all...I'm going to ask a 'LegalBeagle' to have a look at your thread...she will know your best options,(and if she doesn't,,she'll source info )

[Celestine]

Re: Childs Contact Order

Good Lord! Never ever take any notice of court staff! They are not meant to give legal advice at all......and what you have written above sounds suspiciously like 'legal advice'.

Possibly time to get a new solicitor, but equally.......think on this. He has to take YOU to court if you breach the order. This could turn out to be a good thing because the new circumstances would be aired.

It certainly isn't the case that you 'break the order...you go to jail'. If I was in your shoes, I'd probably be breaching the order, then seeking police assistance when he harasses you. It certainly puts the ball back in his court and he would need to front the legal costs of enforcing his frankly 'out of date' order.

Just my thoughts xxx

[SickotheCSA]

Re: Childs Contact Order

I agree, thats a croc and you are having some crap luck with solicitors!......if you can prove constant neglect of the order and harassment, then I am positive that you could get the matter heard. Remember you can take the matter to court, you do not need permission and, as I did, you can represent yourself. Your son is of an age where they will listen to his opinions and concerns, definitely contact CAFCASS although I warn you that it can very much hinge on the bod you get....my first time with them I had a saint, who then retired and I got stuck with a gullible fool who totally missed the point.

LOG everything on a calendar, dates times, what happens etc etc.........prepare well and be confident without confrontational in court and on the whole they will take consideration of the fact that you are not a solicitor.

IF your son is not interested in seeing his father, as long as it is coming from him....tough I know...then he should not be being forced to......rope in your GP as if this is causing your son stress you will need to demonstrate this.

Good luck.

[SickotheCSA]

Re: Childs Contact Order

On breaking the order, I can assure you that as my ex has breached the order at every opportunity, NOBODY is interested and the only course is to take the matter back to court.......so let him do it if he wants.....as long as you can be prepared to demonstrate that you had very good reasons to do so. The police can only keep the peace and can not force you to do anything.

[helpinhand]

Re: Childs Contact Order

It was a solicitor that gave me that information but not my past one as she's on maternity leave!

This has been ongoing for 5years each time it has been me taking him back to court,he never will take me to court because he refuses to pay for it and a solicitor,he also refused mediation last year because of the cost.So unless I take action he will continue to turn up when it suits.