Family Court

[fatherwantsaccess]

Hi all 1st post so go easy lol
I spilt up with my ex when she was pregnant, when i found out i had a son i asked for access and was told no by the ex, so i went to court, 3 years later im allowed a card every month and pic 4 times a year ( in fancy dress)
that was 18 months ago, can i go back to court and start again? this time doing it myself.
I have a clean crb, have paid csa since son was 3 months, now 5.
mother used im stressed and depressed which could be picked up by son that mother is stressed etc??

cheers.

[MissFM]

Re: Family Court

Hello FWA

I think it's going to be difficult unless your name is on the Birth Certificate. You could try getting Cafcass involved but by far the best route IMVHO would be to try to mend fences with the child's mother and see if she will relent. It is very much recognised these days that a child's relationship with both parents is of enormous importance and your ex might well come to agree.

Have you looked at "Families need fathers"? http://www.fnf.org.uk/

I am sorry to state the blindingly obvious and not to be of more help but do wish you the very best of luck with this.

[leclerc]

Re: Family Court

I completely disagree with the above. At the moment all we are doing is sending you to another site to help rather than bothering to give any advice whatsoever. It's a pity that at the moment this site is so lacking in knowledge of the Children's Act 2009. Any changes to contact should go through the formal legal process but you need to show that your circumstances have changed in the last 18 months to warrant that contact. It sounds to me as though your have no contact whatsoever apart from cards and a picture.

I would suggest something like supervised contact once a month at a contact centre local to where the child lives simply so that you can build up whatever trust was lost and that the mother feels her child is safe with someone else around. That might be a starting point. If that is not a goer then I would suggest that certainly the pictures if sent should not be of a child in fancy dress since your ex is not Michael Jackson and clearly the face of your son is important, unless it is in a school production.

[MissFM]

Re: Family Court

Please could you explain how the children's Act 2009 would help the OP in practical terms, Leclerc?

I am sorry that you feel as you do about my post, which I admit was long on compassion and short on effective advice but I do believe that the OP is in a hard situation and the best bet in terms of any acceptable resolution is to open a dialogue with the mother and persuade her to see the wisdom of allowing the OP to see his child regularly.

It may not be how it should happen, but how it does happen time and time again is that the child suffers because the parents are at loggerheads.

I know that there are those more knowledgeable and experienced here who may give more detailed and helpful advice and always do post on that premise .

[fatherwantsaccess]

Re: Family Court

Hi All, my name is not on the birth certificate, the ex respones when asked about contact, you have to follow the judgement and do not send me letters!!
Cafcass sat on the fence, i followed all requests and sent cards every month when this was an ongoing case, so for 5 years have not missed a card.
I have never met my son, i have to sign my cards by my 1st name, and cards are written by mother.
when in court i offered to meet at an action for children site, who supported me and argeed that i should have contact, the court ruled on health grounds!!

[wales01man]

Re: Family Court

I read this with sadness a child with a mother and father in my view needs both unless there is violence from one,as this is not the case here it seems that the OP is facing a long fight he needs some legal advice from a specialist in this field.Whilst all of us on here can support hom its beyond most of us to help,i hope it can be resolved but I think its gonna be a long hard journey GOOD LUCK

[shell]

Re: Family Court

Hi All, my name is not on the birth certificate, the ex respones when asked about contact, you have to follow the judgement and do not send me letters!!
Cafcass sat on the fence, i followed all requests and sent cards every month when this was an ongoing case, so for 5 years have not missed a card.
I have never met my son, i have to sign my cards by my 1st name, and cards are written by mother.
when in court i offered to meet at an action for children site, who supported me and argeed that i should have contact, the court ruled on health grounds!!

Sounds like she doesn't want your son to know you are his father if you have to sign by your first name. Who said this is how you have to sign and that your mother has to write the cards? Also are you sure your son is actually getting these cards? On whose health grounds were you denied access?