fathers rights to know if he the father

[hudson hawk]

hi
I had a one night stand with a girl last year and she called me up last October to tell me that she was pregnant and asking me what part i was gonna play in the child's life and if i was going to be there to support her financially. At first i was doubtful but on reflection i warmed to the idea that this child could be mine, and told this girl that i would stand by and support my child in whatever way i could providing that my name was on the birth cert, my one night stand has since had our daughter and has gone and had the baby registered without putting my name on the birth cert, she is refusing to send me pictures or information of my daughter and now i am beginning to question that this child is even mine as my ex has changed her stories so many times. First agreeing to put me on the birth cert and then registering behind her behind my back.Telling me she would keep in touch with photos etc but not sending any..........What am I to do ???? I don't want to be sitting around for the next 18 years waiting for my daughter to show up on my doorstep asking why her father wanted nothing to do with her,I want to be there for her and be part of her life growing up as best i can, ..... Is there any way i can find out for sure if she is mine without getting court order for DNA, contact is very limited as i don't live in the UK with my ex and daughter

Please help:beagle::beagle:

[leclerc]

Re: fathers rights to know if he the father

Without a DNA I would not be even considering asking a court that they effectively give me parental authority over the child.

Does she still state that the child is yours?

Do you pay maintenance at the moment?

[enquirer]

Re: fathers rights to know if he the father

No proof of paternity, No money.

[CleverClogs]

Re: fathers rights to know if he the father

I had a one night stand with a girl last year

Couldn't either of you afford a bed?

and she called me up last October to tell me that she was pregnant and asking me what part i was gonna play in the child's life and if i was going to be there to support her financially.

One might wonder how many other men have been called by that strumpet and given the same spiel.

told this trollop that i would stand by and support my child in whatever way i could providing that my name was on the birth cert, my one night stand has since had our daughter and has gone and had the baby registered without putting my name on the birth cert,

One might suspect that is so none of the other contributors to her meal ticket do not withdraw their support.

she is refusing to send me pictures or information of my daughter and now i am beginning to question that this child is even mine

Or even exists?

as my ex has changed her stories so many times. First agreeing to put me on the birth cert and then registering behind her behind my back.Telling me she would keep in touch with photos etc but not sending any...

They may have been sent to some of the others...

What am I to do ????

Carry a packet or two of condoms and, next time a passion-crazed wench tears all your clothes off, demand a moment to put your willy into its welly.

Or just change your brand of aftershave. :rofl:

[wales01man]

Re: fathers rights to know if he the father

Cleverclogs
your last few words brought tears to my eyes through laughing

[Inca]

Re: fathers rights to know if he the father

CLOGGY !!! msl:..You really are utterly outrageous at times!!
However,,I totally agree with everyone..DNA test.

[hudson hawk]

Re: fathers rights to know if he the father

Thanks for the replies and cleverclogs for the smart comments but yes the child does exist, i am trying to do the right thing by this child providing that she is my daughter and i want to be there for her throughout her life as a father and not as a meal ticket, I know most men would be glad to be given this chance to walk away from something like this without having to take any responsibility, but if this child is mine its not just about the money i want to be part of her life.
As I am not familiar with English law I would like to know can the mother refuse to let me have a DNA test done ?? or what is the best way to go about having a test done???:beagle:

[CleverClogs]

Re: fathers rights to know if he the father

Thanks for the replies and cleverclogs for the smart comments but yes the child does exist, i am trying to do the right thing by this child providing that she is my daughter and i want to be there for her throughout her life as a father and not as a meal ticket, I know most men would be glad to be given this chance to walk away from something like this without having to take any responsibility, but if this child is mine its not just about the money i want to be part of her life.

I'd guessed that you normally reside in the American colonies - in New York?

As I am not familiar with English law I would like to know can the mother refuse to let me have a DNA test done ??

Probably. You certainly cannot demand the return of your little soldiers or make a copyright claim for your DNA.

or what is the best way to go about having a test done???

When the child is older, buy her a milkshake at McDonalds.

Then get the straw analysed for her DNA.

[hudson hawk]

Re: fathers rights to know if he the father

well clever clogs you guessed wrong I don't reside in the American colonies my work brought me to the UK where I met with the mother. my whole point of wanting a DNA test now is that I don't have to wait until the child gets older. thanks for the replies but your not much help!

[Inca]

Re: fathers rights to know if he the father

Sorry Hudson but I don't think there is any way you can force a DNA without a court order,the mother seems adamant to keep you out of the childs life. You would have had to be present to have your name on the birth certificate and there is a time limit to register children in the UK (42 days).

Best advice I can give you is to consult a solicitor where you are.

[Celestine]

Re: fathers rights to know if he the father

Hudson, yes a DNA test via a Court Order is the only way forward. It may be worthwhile instructing a decent UK Family solicitor.

Also, please look at 'Families Need Fathers' - http://www.fnf.org.uk

They will have expertise in supporting a father in your situation and also have links to affordable solicitors.

Once you 'get legal', the mum will have to respond, so she may then elect to be more cooperative to lessen her own legal fees?

[jon1965]

Re: fathers rights to know if he the father

Are you still in this country?
Of course I could suggest the Jeremy Kyle show and if she is the type of girl you suggest she might like her moment of fame

As everyone says, without the mothers consent you would need a court order . If you are paying anything I would stop now with the proviso that you will make it up when and if you are proved to be the father.

As for Cloggy, his wit maybe an acquired taste , but his advice is excellent...it is in there somwhere.

[leclerc]

Re: fathers rights to know if he the father

definitely not Jeremy Kyle.......you'd never hear the last of it and there would be youtube clip for her to watch when she might have some understanding.....Follow Celestine's advice because basically she is saying what Cleverclogs is saying, ie ensure that the child is yours before considering anything else. The worst thing is to find out that the child belongs to the milkman after you may have paid out maintenance for years and years.....

[CleverClogs]

Re: fathers rights to know if he the father

The worst thing is to find out that the child belongs to the milkman after you may have paid out maintenance for years and years.....

[hudson hawk]

Re: fathers rights to know if he the father

I have not paid any maintenance nor do i intend to until i get confirmation as to whether the child is mine or not, i'm not still in the UK, the arrangement in the beginning was that as soon as the child was born i was to return to the UK to have the DNA test and to be present to register the birth but this did not happen,
Any one know of a good reasonable priced family solicitor that would be able to help with the court order for the DNA????:beagle: