Csa help please

[suzy0698]

Hey guys this is my first post wanting to know if anyone can help. My ex was paying CSA and due to him having a baby unexpectedly he quit his job. His new partner works and support them both. My ex-partner has informed me he will pay csa only if he gained access to see my son. He has been threatening that if I don't give access he will go to court. I will not be able to afford to pay for household bills support my son and pay a solicitor which he knows that's why he has stopped the CSA payments. But somehow he can afford it and pay out for trips to away to france going on holiday driving across the country and Generally throwing money around and having a good life with no responsibilities or worrying about things like that they've just moved house as well. Just wondering if there is anything I can do to get the CSA to make him start paying something again even if it is out of the savings for he is getting money from somewhere. Don't want to seem like some moneygrubbing cow But I have lost everything due to him I had to leave the country to 3 months to get away from him I have moved house three times as he found out where I lived he trashed the house my parents bought for us I left due to him been violet to me so was not just little reason why I left . So any help would be good

[Inca]

Re: Csa help please

Hi and to LegalBeagles. Make an appointment to go to the CAB,,you will get advice on which way to deal with this.
You can also contact the CSA yourself to ascertain which is the best course of action.

[suzy0698]

Re: Csa help please

They did not know she was preg till she gave birth. They were on a plane 2 weeks befor she gave birth

[suzy0698]

Re: Csa help please

Been to csa they say they can not do anything

[Inca]

Re: Csa help please

Try and get a free half hour with a Family Law Solicitor....find out what you can do.
Is he saying if you push for money he wants to see his son but if you don't he won't?

[suzy0698]

Re: Csa help please

He says he won't pay till he gets his way and sees his son he not seen him since he was 1.1/2. And if I deni him he is going to cort he says he been to a solicitor. I would rather not have any money off him and him give up his parental rights so that my son can have the same name as his sisters and his daddy ( the man that's been therefrom when he was 3.son 8 now)they only want contacts because his girlfriend is pressuring him

[Somecamel]

Re: Csa help please

You have a couple of options, you can ask that the CSA case is referred to the variations department, they can look at things like lifestyle in excess of means etc etc but this will take a long time.

Have you considered supervised visits? Social Services can help you arrange this

[suzy0698]

Re: Csa help please

Don't think my son would be able to cope with it he all ready on tablets for bed wetting due To anxiety for if any of this gets brought up he wets I didn't mention to him about his dads but if I do he cools him the battement that shouts it a lot that's all he remembers of him which doesn't Bedwell for him. Asked my son if he wants to see him and he says no not particularly but if Iam made to.

[Natshinoda]

Re: Csa help please

I am the partner of the person you are talking about Suzy0698. We do not live the good life, we live in a council house. We had to move house because I couldn't afford to keep it. We have never been to France and driving across the country was me going home 4 times in 4 months to scotland for family funerals!
XXXXXXX was paying you CSA plus arrears right up until XXXXXXX was born. He gave up work because I had the potential to earn more money. Due to me having a nervous breakdown and a heart condition, I had to give up work and stay at home. I would love to know where "living the good life" comes from when I don't have two pennies to rub together.

He hasn't seen him since 1/1 and a half because you packed and left without telling him! He is also not violent.

rather than come on these sites asking for advice from complete strangers, why don't you stop ignoring our messages and requests for access. Nothing stopping supervised access and stop agreeing to meeting up then backing out.

yes we wanted to go through court but we can't afford it, but we can afford to represent ourself.

Enter into proper communication rather than coming on here and saying half truths and nonsense. I've had enough

[stevemLS]

Re: Csa help please

Just goes to show, two sides to every story.

[Natshinoda]

Re: Csa help please

Just goes to show, two sides to every story.

Exactly, we are fed up of being made out to be the bad ones. We still pay CSA, it only stopped for a few months. When it did stop, I offered to pay £x amount every month to compensate, but it was ignored. I have everything saved on a file on my computer, every conversation.

I hate being "one of those" people online but I am not going to sit here and see us bad mouthed on forums when, every attempt for re conciliation is ignored.

[Kati]

Re: Csa help please

Hi [MENTION=59662]Natshinoda[/MENTION], welcome to LB ... As StevemLS says, there are always two sides to every story and I (for one) am glad you have joined to give us your side! I have, however, edited your first post to remove identifying names

I sincerely hope you mange to get everything sorted very soon!

Kati xx

[Natshinoda]

Re: Csa help please

That's ok! After I posted it i realised I should not have put names on it, thanks for editing it.

thank you, I hope so too.

[stevemLS]

Re: Csa help please

Have you thought about mediation? It can work wonders if you go into it open to the possibility.

[Kati]

Re: Csa help please

I have deleted all posts and responses which I felt were not needed. This is an advice forum, not a boxing ring ... please keep it civil ladies & gents :tinysmile_twink_t2: