Is it okay for a woman to deny the paternal identity of her child?

[Robert Parent]

Is it okay for a woman to deny the biological father and the child knowledge of each other's existence?

A survey by an adult child contemplating the severe harm to his newly discovered biological father, and how they are both coping with a life time lost between them.



Let them know what you think. http://www.ifoundmydad.net/#paternal-survey/c1hhl

[MissFM]

Re: Is it okay for a woman to deny the paternal identity of her child?

What a moving and thought provoking site! Thank you.

[leclerc]

Re: Is it okay for a woman to deny the paternal identity of her child?

Robert, I do not like a forum be spammed or where links are put up to sites that may have no relevance to the site because it is based in the UK and unfortunately yours comes under the latter part since you refer a lot to US law and not UK law and a lot of the information whilst interesting to read and very worthwhile helps nobody here.

EDIT: the post was reported to site team and I trust in their judgement on the thread. My personal opinion is that the site is not relevant because the information contained, on the whole, relates to US Law and not UK Law.

[PlanB]

Re: Is it okay for a woman to deny the paternal identity of her child?

Robert, I do not like a forum be spammed or where links are put up to sites that may have no relevance to the site because it is based in the UK and unfortunately yours comes under the latter part since you refer a lot to US law and not UK law and a lot of the information whilst interesting to read and very worthwhile helps nobody here.

I can't agree with that. There is spam and there is spam. The link provides nothing but support and hope to anyone facing the same moral and emotional dilemma as Robert did regardless of whether they live in the US or the UK. There's no advertising and no charge for accessing the information in it. I'm sure there are people reading LB who have asked themselves this question: should I trace my biological parents?

Intercountry adoption is 'big business' and the legal boundaries get blurred between US and UK adoptions. It's always a lively topic on Mumsnet: http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/adoption...e/AllOnOnePage

Robert, how did things work out when you finally met your biological father?

[PlanB]

Re: Is it okay for a woman to deny the paternal identity of her child?

David Milliband (the UK politician) adopted two American children who may want to trace their birth parents in the US when they grow up. It's quite common:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...s-America.html

[leclerc]

Re: Is it okay for a woman to deny the paternal identity of her child?

comments withdrawn from this thread.

[MissFM]

Re: Is it okay for a woman to deny the paternal identity of her child?

I have asked you to read my first sentence in full and I did report the post to site team for their opinion. the part you have highlighted in purple is correct and you have yet to post on here which person this information would have helped since 2007 on this specific site. It may do on other sites but will not here.

You have kinda hit the nail on the head in your penultimate sentence: "Intercountry adoption is 'big business and the boundaries get blurred between the US and UK adoptions'".
A child is not a commodity and never should be and within the UK adoption is a big business with profits to be made on the basis that it is "in the best interests of the child" yet the child does not make the millions of pounds that adoption agencies make.

I qualified the comment on here because I did not regard the post as necessarily SPAM since there is no indication of commercial interests but I do question the relevance of the link and on that issue is where my post was pretty clear with the rest of the sentence based on experience on here and based on the fact that the law on the links base themselves mostly on US Law not UK law.

Hi Leclerc

It may not be relevant and no disrespect intended to anyone - but it did help me. Not in any legal or material way but some of the stories (for example "the hand") speak to very deep issues and give insight into the human condition, the question of identity. Others might find the same maybe?

Are you saying it is against site policy to ask such questions and share such experiences if you're not in Britain?

[PlanB]

Re: Is it okay for a woman to deny the paternal identity of her child?

I have asked you to read my first sentence in full and I did report the post to site team for their opinion. the part you have highlighted in purple is correct and you have yet to post on here which person this information would have helped since 2007 on this specific site. It may do on other sites but will not here.

Golly, if I'm to rise to your challenge I would have to check 311,559 posts and 32,401 threads from 34,334 members (not to mention an average of 5,000 guests per day to the site) to discover if any of them would be helped by a discussion on tracing biological parents :typing:

This research may take me a while :bolt:

[Robert Parent]

Re: Is it okay for a woman to deny the paternal identity of her child?

I certainly did not have any intention of "Spamming." I thought there was relevance within the context of this forum, so I posted the link. If I was wrong then I apologize.

My intention was only to raise awareness of the plight of the children that are involved in these cases. I created that site after interviewing hundreds of people that were deceived as to who their biological fathers were. I was also deceived, as well as my father, who never knew I existed. I am the result of a Non Paternal Event. In many instances, the cause of which, would be Paternity Fraud.

A man was ordered to pay child support for 20 years. However, I was not his son. I always wondered why he did not pay it. Now I know. Yet, it baffles me that he kept the secret all those years. He knew who my father was. It was not as if he was protecting me from some sort of maleficent influence, my father is a stunningly successful man on first name basis with some heads of state. There was no harm to either of us knowing about each other. In fact, it was quite the opposite.

Meeting my father was an earth shattering event. After all, I did not know that my paternity was in question. Seeing my genetic mirror for the first time made my knees buckle. It should have been a celebratory event, and for a time it was. However, as I have learned through the countless stories that I have investigated, there are very few fairy tail endings to this sort of thing. My father and I are doing well, and are trying to make up for the decades lost to us. The families around us are not doing quite as well, and in some cases have been completely deconstructed.

I posted the link here, because at the root of a Non Paternal Event, is not only the child's right to his or her identity, but also the right of a man to be a father if he chooses to be. My father was denied that option, as have millions of other men. While my site grapples with conflicts of identity in all forms, Paternity Fraud is definitely at the center of it. I linked the site because I thought it had relevance here. If I was wrong, once again, I apologize.

[PlanB]

Re: Is it okay for a woman to deny the paternal identity of her child?

You have kinda hit the nail on the head in your penultimate sentence: "Intercountry adoption is 'big business and the boundaries get blurred between the US and UK adoptions'".
A child is not a commodity and never should be and within the UK adoption is a big business with profits to be made on the basis that it is "in the best interests of the child" yet the child does not make the millions of pounds that adoption agencies make.

:focus:


I agree with you there leclerc :nod: Regardless of whether a child has been bought or sold by their 'parents' won't they always have a yearning to know why :noidea:

[PlanB]

Re: Is it okay for a woman to deny the paternal identity of her child?

I certainly did not have any intention of "Spamming." I thought there was relevance within the context of this forum, so I posted the link. If I was wrong then I apologize. . . .

. . . My intention was only to raise awareness of the plight of the children that are involved in these cases. . . I linked the site because I thought it had relevance here. If I was wrong, once again, I apologize.

No need to apologize at all

Parental 'duty' is a hot legal topic in the UK. The most recent debate is whether children born as a result of sperm donation should have financial support from the donor as well as access to any records identifying the donor:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-21482099

[Inca]

Re: Is it okay for a woman to deny the paternal identity of her child?

Personally speaking,,I totally disagree with sperm donors being chased for anything. All they are guilty of is helping create life where there is no other option for the receiver of their donation.

[FlamingParrot]

Re: Is it okay for a woman to deny the paternal identity of her child?

Robert, I do not like a forum be spammed

Have looked at the site in question and it's not a commercial site, nor are there any adverts, :ohwell: why should it be considered as spam, when it's just an information site. The definition of spam is unsolicited commercial adverts distributed online: http://compnetworking.about.com/libr...bldef-spam.htm There are adverts on that site, I'm just linking to it for reference.

or where links are put up to sites that may have no relevance to the site because it is based in the UK and unfortunately yours comes under the latter part since you refer a lot to US law and not UK law and a lot of the information whilst interesting to read and very worthwhile helps nobody here.

Surely paternity issues are equally relevant anywhere, there may be people on here who want to find their biological parents. reggers:

It doesn't do any harm to have that information on here.

[leclerc]

Re: Is it okay for a woman to deny the paternal identity of her child?

Have looked at the site in question and it's not a commercial site, nor are there any adverts, :ohwell: why should it be considered as spam, when it's just an information site. The definition of spam is unsolicited commercial adverts distributed online: http://compnetworking.about.com/libr...bldef-spam.htm There are adverts on that site, I'm just linking to it for reference.

I won't bother responding to the above since clearly I did not take issue with the fact that the OP may or may not have been spamming the forum. I did not at the time I wrote it and I do not take issue with that anyway since I did check the website and my issue was specifically relevance to this forum where we mainly deal with UK Law and not US law which were in a number of the stories on the site.
Surely paternity issues are equally relevant anywhere, there may be people on here who want to find their biological parents. reggers:

It doesn't do any harm to have that information on here.

Having said that, the Act relating to paternity for future reference is "Family Law Act 1986 section 56: http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1986/55/section/56
The court will have to make sure that they follow the Welfare checklist set out in The Children's Act 1989.

the CSA can also seek paternity based on Section 27 of the Child Support Act 1991: http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/...ion/27/enacted

The CSA can also assume paternity based on section 26 of the Child Support Agency Act 1991: http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/...ion/26/enacted

So we have the law of the issue of Paternity.

Some people do not read my posts on here and jump on a word without really reading what I have actually written. Most of you jumped on the word Spamming yet my post was pretty clear that I was not talking about SPAM and I hope some of you have learnt that the word "latter" means that there was two points made which were "SPAM"(that would be the former had I said that) and "relevance"(the latter as referred to on the post). I wear glasses albeit sometimes alcohol can sometimes blur my understanding. I would drink more water with it if I were you guys .

[PlanB]

Re: Is it okay for a woman to deny the paternal identity of her child?

Some people do not read my posts on here and jump on a word without really reading what I have actually written.

Pot Kettle Black :boink: