Bereavement

[swifty]

*Bit of background* My wife's aunty (we'll call her 'M') had a learning disability but she managed (with the help of social services) to run her own life, she was married for a couple of years but her husband past away(this was a good few years ago).
Her Aunt helped animal rescue whenever she could and made many donations for over 40 years for which she was very proud of, her brother (my wife's father) has the latter stages of parkinsons so was unable to help so it was left to the eldest niece (my wife) to help her out in her final months. Seeing as my wife is in the caring profession she took on the task without question or hesitation.
We hired a van Saturday and removed all her belongings from her council owned flat and left all the stuff owned by social services (we'll contact them tomorrow before handing the keys back to the council) we didn't find any money apart from loose change in the house which was very odd 'I'll go into that a little later' we honoured her wishes by donating as much items and clothing as they would accept to the animal rescue charity shop and we had to take the rest to the tip, so far so good.
Now down to the problem, we picked up M's birth certificate and Building society book from her cousins tonight (this was before M fell ill) she would visit every day as she only lived around the corner, the cousin mentioned that large amounts of cash was being stolen from M so she took charge of her finances for her and over time managed to bank over £9k into M's building society account.
When we where looking through M's paperwork while emptying the flat we found a letter from the police saying the the case had been reopened, not knowing what this was about at the time we thought no more about it 'that was until tonight' the cousin said that M had a purse with around £300 to £500 in it just before M was rushed into hospital, we did find the purse but it only had coppers in it.
Someone has obviously stolen the notes and left the change, now the company who was looking after her all had keys to the flat and one carer (M's main carer) has recently bought herself a new car, knowing what carers are paid it throws up questions. M's cousin wouldn't say it was that carer who was stealing but money always went missing when she was around and when she wasn't around there was never any missing cash, we are going to call the police tomorrow to try and find out what has happened for them to reopen it.
I cringe at the thought that someone in that position could take advantage of a vulnerable woman in that way, if it is this person then I truly hope she gets exactly what she deserves.
Think is people like this cant help themselves, they will steal again from some other poor person and I hope she is brought to justice soon.

Enough of that for now, what do we need to do to take charge of the account? we need to pay the funeral directors over £3000 (£800 deposit), what must my wife do to take charge of M's account.
I know it involves going to a solicitors but I don't know what for or how long it will take or even how much it will cost, time is of the essence here as the funeral directors want the £800 before the the service on the 05/03

[labman]

Re: Bereavement

The quickest thing would be to go to the building society and ask them if you can. Alternatively, phone them - they are extremely helpful in these situations.

Re the alleged theft, firstly your wife's aunt would not be alone in having money stolen by carers. My father, before he went back into hospital, had £300 stolen from him, or the money disappeared. We never have found out where it went.

Secondly, please try not to leap to conclusions about who might have stolen it. Theft is a very serious crime, and buying a new car does not make you a thief. I agree that, as with my father, it would appear likely one of the carers has taken the money, but in the absence of any evidence you may, like us, never find out.

I hope you get the account sorted out, and that the funeral goes as well as any funeral can.

[swifty]

Re: Bereavement

Obviously the police have either got new evidence or someone else in a similar situation has had something stolen, hopefully we can find out when we phone them.
Just gotta find the letter in amongst all the bags of paperwork we brought home, cant say I'm looking forward to that.
my wife is going to collect M's death certificate in the morning and register her death at the registrars, she's going to get them to do three copies as it only costs £4 each on registering rather than £9 later on.
M had a death insurance as well and they want a true copy as proof, no idea how much this is for though

[CleverClogs]

Re: Bereavement

Enough of that for now, what do we need to do to take charge of the account? we need to pay the funeral directors over £3000 (£800 deposit), what must my wife do to take charge of M's account.
I know it involves going to a solicitors but I don't know what for or how long it will take or even how much it will cost, time is of the essence here as the funeral directors want the £800 before the the service on the 05/03

Change funeral directors.

[swifty]

Re: Bereavement

I can understand where they're coming from, M has a plot next to her late husband so there's the addition to the headstone along with flowers and other items that needs paying up front.
Besides! I know the only other funeral directors around here and they are well known for their higher prices

[Inca]

Re: Bereavement

Check the insurance policy,it will probably cover the costs anyway,and I agree with CC,,I've never had to pay for a funeral up front,not even a deposit..But as there is money available in the building society it's just getting the Letters of Administration sorted..See the bank manager as soon as possible,he should be able to guide you as to what to do next.

[CleverClogs]

Re: Bereavement

I can understand where they're coming from,

Alas, so can I.

And they hardly seem to have much compassion for the bereaved relatives.
I'd complain to the NAFD - link - if those money-grabbing gits are members.

[bluebottle]

Re: Bereavement

Funeral directors asking for part-payment of the funeral account in advance is not unusual, it would seem. It is to cover disbursements, e.g. press notices, doctors' fees etc.. The charges for the funeral director's services will come later. I was involved in helping to arrange the funerals of two friends recently and this came up.

[wales01man]

Re: Bereavement

We have just gone through the death funeral and probate of my wifes mother,we found one of her brothers took money out of her bank after he was told she died we have proof the police would not act so accusing someone of theft would need some good evidence,if your wife is going to handle probate/letters of administration the bank or building society should relaes funds if available to pay for the funeral if there is no money in the estate a grant can be obtained from social services,If she had an insurance policy this may also cover the funeral cost its not the easiest time when all this happens but it will all be sorted takes time and legwork

[Inca]

Re: Bereavement

Our funeral directors here must be different to others then BB,,have organised My Mum,Dad,Sister,Ma in Law and Pa in Law's funerals (latter 2 in last 18 months) and not paid a penny 'upfront'..just got invoices afterwards.The insurance on Pa's paid out within a week of his funeral.

[swifty]

Re: Bereavement

*UPDATE*
We've just been informed by Social Services that they will pay all the funeral costs through her pension money, they must have been holding part of her pension back to cover the costs.

[swifty]

Re: Bereavement

We have the police coming round this afternoon after I called them yesterday, not sure what they can tell us as they quoted data protection to me over the phone.
I told them that M had died so data protection wouldn't affect her, but my wife told me there's the mental capacity act we can use as she was/is unable to act because of her condition.
Is she right?

[Inca]

Re: Bereavement

I'm not sure about that swifty,,but one thing did spring to mind,,you say she has the plot next to her husband which,theorectically..is already paid for,,make sure you don't get charged again for it. (We have a burial plot,,when we purchased it in 1995 it was called a 'new for 2',,Mum is buried there,it can be opened for one more burial but we can inter as many ashes in there as we like,it's a 75 year lease (renewable).

[swifty]

Re: Bereavement

We've already looked into it, the undertakers are aware that it's all paid for in advance and the head stone will be altered accordingly but I will be keeping an eye on the final bill.
Cumbria Care are footing the funeral costs, not exactly sure what was arranged or if we can find out if there would be any funds left over and what will happen to those (if any) left over funds.
As soon as my wife spoke to them they said don't worry the funeral is covered and within an hour they where at the funeral directors paying the deposit and filling in all the relevant paperwork, as for the Building Society they said they would have paid the funeral costs out of M's account and if we're having a wake then get a bill and they will do the same for that.
So! it's off down to the club this morning to pick up the bill and hand it in to the Building Society, we're just wondering if the Building Society would accept a £200 behind the bar so everyone can have a drink on M

[CleverClogs]

Re: Bereavement

I'm not sure about that swifty,,but one thing did spring to mind,,you say she has the plot next to her husband which,theorectically..is already paid for,,make sure you don't get charged again for it. (We have a burial plot,,when we purchased it in 1995 it was called a 'new for 2',,Mum is buried there,it can be opened for one more burial but we can inter as many ashes in there as we like,it's a 75 year lease (renewable).

Will the occupants be evicted if the lease is not renewed?

My family burial plot was purchased in 1850...