problems seeing my daughter

[jimbo1986]

Re: problems seeing my daughter

Thanks inca and lecret for your support

[Celestine]

Re: problems seeing my daughter

Hi Jimbo

Sorry only just spotted this thread.

You need to apply for a Contact Order as soon as possible. Your ex's behaviour is dreadful and just using your daughter as a weapon.

How long have you been separated from her mum and been subject to the previous access agreement (albeit informally)?

Your new partner is irrelevant to the issue so long as their are no safeguarding concerns as Kitiara mentioned very coherently earlier.

Don't stop paying maintenance as this could reflect negatively on you in Court.

It's sad, if you read around the Family forums, how many previously amicable splits go 'nuclear' when a new partner appears.

Good Luck

[jimbo1986]

Re: problems seeing my daughter

Hi Jimbo

Sorry only just spotted this thread.

You need to apply for a Contact Order as soon as possible. Your ex's behaviour is dreadful and just using your daughter as a weapon.

How long have you been separated from her mum and been subject to the previous access agreement (albeit informally)?

Your new partner is irrelevant to the issue so long as their are no safeguarding concerns as Kitiara mentioned very coherently earlier.

Don't stop paying maintenance as this could reflect negatively on you in Court.

It's sad, if you read around the Family forums, how many previously amicable splits go 'nuclear' when a new partner appears.

Good Luck

Hi Celestine thats ok.

How do I go about getting one of them. Can I apply direct to the court? My mediators have said that I need to see them and pay £60 for an hour session to get the form to apply to court is that right? I feel like i'm being led on with that one. But nether the less agreed to do it on the 17th december as will do whatever it takes.

We have been separated since april and the contact agreement (informally) has been in place since the split. It started as just sundays due to my job which i then changed and had to build a level of trust according to my ex to have any more time. Which i disagreed with as I was good enough to be her dad before the split so dont know what changed after but hey hoo.
The contact gradually increased and started having her every weekend and overnight on a saturday in july then in august started having her friday nights through until sunday.
Then if i was home early on a friday id pick her up from school. On top of this if i was home early mid week id call my ex to ask if i could get her from school and take my daughter out for dinner etc get her bathed and ready for bed and take her back to her mum by no later than 6:30pm mid week.

There are no safe guarding issues with my new partner. She has had a crb check again recently as she works in a school doing after school art classes!

Yes some may say it was early to introduce my daughter to my partner but we have known each other (an so has my daughter) for over a year. And i/we have never said anything to my daughter about me and my partner being an item. We have kept as just 'friends' to my daughter. She never sees us be affectionate etc in front of her.

Irony of it is is that I was the one my ex confided in when she was having problems with the new bloke she was seeing! Whether shes still with him or not is another story....and to quite frank....couldnt care less.

[Kitiara]

Re: problems seeing my daughter

Hi Jim,

In regards to the PR ... as you say you are named on the birth certificate and your Daughter was born after 2003, then you should be able to contact the school and be kept informed of any problems etc. My Partners son was born in 2003, but March not December, so unfortunately we had to apply to the courts for PR. My Partner then rang the school and asked if he could make an appointment to speak to the headmaster regarding his concerns. The school has been brilliant at keeping us informed of any problems especially absences (his ex took their son to the USA for a 3 week "holiday" and didn't return for 5 months) so any absences of more than a couple of days and the alarm bells ring - even though there is a PSO in place - wouldnt put anything past her! We also found out that school had no idea that "Dad" was still on the scene, she had implied he was an absent father, so the meeting ensured that the school were aware of my Partners existance in *L*'s life and that he played a key part in his son's wellbeing. School were also made aware of the problems the enforced absences were having on *L* as he had developed "little habits". On occasions he had been "bratty" at school and the staff unaware of the problems at "home" had not shown any leniency - which they now do. They are also monitoring him to make sure he is not withdrawing etc. It's a good idea to make sure school are aware of the situation, so they can monitor your little girl in the same way. Our solicitor said it always looks good when the father has aproached the school as it shows he is taking an active interest in the wellbeing of the child, even though access is currently denied.

As Celestine has said, you need to speak to a Solicitor asap and get the Contact Order in place, that way you know she can't pull a stunt like this again. She will be asked to justify her reasons for not letting you see your Daughter and as I said before - not liking your girlfriend is not a justifiable reason, she may well get a telling off from the Judge - at the end of the day, a court case is wasting everyones time unecessarily.

Good Luck!

Kit