Where do I begin :S

[Southwesterner]

This is all a little complicated i think...

but hello to all people on LB first of all and thanks in advance for any pointers/advice given!

i'll try and keep it as simple as possible.

Nearly 5 years ago my father in law died after a short illness that we were not prepared for. He was full time carer to my MIL who had MS. So suddenly we were left with decisions, stress etc of looking after her. She had recently been having rest bite care in a home so we continued. FIL had power of attorney and this was arranged (just as a matter of course) that if anything happened to FIL then my wife would be power of attorney. Before he died he had just started to do up the house they lived in and had paid for and booked lots of bits so we just left this to continue under advice from the solicitor.

Fast forward 4 years, MIL is in a newer, nice care home and is being looked after very well there. She is funded by NHS CHC system and her benefits.
The house has remained empty all this time as not all work was completed. We decided in the last year to finish this work and make sure it was all in good repair. Brother in law was not named PoA and never wanted to be. He insisted that when work had finished that my wife and I should move in to the house. Something we always refused to do. (He was reluctant to have any strangers in the house)

in the last few months myself and wife have separated, because we couldn't afford to live in two different houses we decided to rent out our house to make sure the mortgage was covered. I moved back to my parents spare room and my wife moved with my daughter to the empty in laws house. (I should add there is no mortgage on this house) this was done with BiL insistence that his sister and niece were safe.

My wife has always been uncomfortable in doing this, but we saw it as a good solution and something her mum would be happy with (and she says she is happy with this) (as much as she can)

However, last week my wife and her brother had a massive row and he said he didn't care to see her anymore and a lot of unpleasant things, and was very aggressive. But after the row he did tell his wife to make it clear to his sister that he didn't want her to move out of the family home.

He is, however a very changeable person and with his aggression I know it scares my wife. He has a key for the property and she is worried he could come round whenever he likes and also now they aren't going to see each other she doesn't want to be "held" to ransom by her brother. Which I completely understand.

In her mothers will the only beneficiaries are her and her brother split 50/50.

Where does she stand legally and for piece of mind?
should she leave the house and rent somewhere? She pays the bills and council tax there.
If she paid her mother some rent (peppercorn?) would that legally cover her?
Can she change the locks?

I know for a fact that if her mum was well then she would make her live with her in house so she was supported and safe.

There is no other family. I do not speak to the BiL and do not get on. So no point in me even trying to resolve this situation.

So I need some direction.


thank you!

[Hurricane Puffrose]

Re: Where do I begin :S

Hiya and welcome to LB.

Sorry for the delay in an answer, and sorry to hear of your troubles.

I'm BUMPING the thread for help

BUMP BUMP BUMP

P.

[enquirer]

Re: Where do I begin :S

It would be wise to seek professional advice, but in the meantime, here's a few thoughts ...

Mother in Law owns house, but is no longer compos mentis.

Wife has sole PoA. BIL has no authority whatsoever.

As she has PoA, she can change the locks.

If BIL tries to force entry, dial 999.

Terms of MIL's Will are irrelevant (she is still alive, so Will is not operative).

BIL is a violent control freak and wife is in fear. Get injunction.

Moving out of MIL's house: MIL will incur full Council Tax after 6 months.

Paying rent may impact on MIL's benefits.

[Hurricane Puffrose]

Re: Where do I begin :S

can, as poa, the OPs wife pay the council tax herself?

See it as stopping squatters?

[Southwesterner]

Re: Where do I begin :S

Thanks for responses so far guys.

Weeks ago he was really good to her and supportive. As I said very changeable so this is what concerns her.

the problem with my wife is she is a complete worrier, will sit and worry and worry about a situation.
She feels that from spending her mums money to finish the house and living in it rent free then the authorities will take a dim view and say she has frittered away money and using it for her own good.
Also with the unpredictable brother he is that spiteful he may go to the law himself and try and get her in trouble. (If he was clever enough to know what to do)

thoughts...?

[enquirer]

Re: Where do I begin :S

can, as poa, the OPs wife pay the council tax herself?

If the property is empty, the wife can pay using the MIL's money (using the PoA). Alternatively, she can use her own money. She can also occupy the property and thereby become liable herself, paying in her own right.

See it as stopping squatters?

Having someone in the property is the best way to deter squatters. If it is empty and squatters move in, the PoA allows the wife to move to evict them on behalf of the MIL.

[enquirer]

Re: Where do I begin :S

As I said very changeable so this is what concerns her [...] the problem with my wife is she is a complete worrier, will sit and worry and worry about a situation.

This is an unpleasant situation that may well get much nastier, so yes, her concern is justified.

She feels that from spending her mums money to finish the house and living in it rent free then the authorities will take a dim view and say she has frittered away money and using it for her own good.

The question that would be asked by a Court is whether or not she is acting in the best interests of MIL? Is she acting in accordance with MIL's known wishes?

Also with the unpredictable brother he is that spiteful he may go to the law himself and try and get her in trouble. (If he was clever enough to know what to do)

Challenging someone who holds a PoA is not to be undertaken lightly. He will need deep pockets and a great deal of very solid evidence that your wife has abused her position.

[Southwesterner]

Re: Where do I begin :S

Yes, in the first place her and father in law wanted to do the place up. Although it was quite funny to watch her expressions when telling her carpets were x amount and not 35p.

Also BIL did project managing, decorating and gardening and billed her for it. By these estimations I'm owed a small fortune for grass cuts, meetings, planning I did on property. Not that I would ever charge her for any of it!

As I said MIL would be horrified to see daughter in a state and would want her to live there...

The question also is by being in the house is she not outdoing her mum of rent she could get from a private tenant? Not that she needs any money at all!

Its good to hear its not just me that think he's a plonker!

He has done this on other numerous occasions, throwing paddies and getting aggressive during. He even pinned my wife to a wall the day before our wedding because he was upset about something else.

[Nikolai]

Re: Where do I begin :S

As has been said, the "plonker" has no rights or authority to intervene here, so whether he thinks your wife should stay in the house or move out is irrelevant.
This is a tricky legal situation. As attorney, your wife is under a duty to act in the best interests of MiL. Living rent-free in MiL's house could be questioned as this is technically depriving MiL of a market rent. The counter argument is that MiL would want her to be there and she is looking after the house by being there. Then again if a rent is paid, that may affect MiL's benefits.
Your wife should cover herself by taking professional advice. There's no easy answer to this one.

[Inca]

Re: Where do I begin :S

Can I ask,,has MIL got dementia or anything similar as,to the best of my knowledge,MS doesn;t affect ones mental state and therefore MIL should be 'compos mentis' enough to voice an opinion on this.Even if she can only clarify to a solicitor and/or an independent witness that her wishes are for your wife to live in the house,bear in mind though,on her passing the BIL will want his share of the house and if my recent quandry is anything to go by he will want it sooner rather than later so your wife will need to be in a position to either buy him out or sell the property.
I personally would consult a solicitor as soon as possible to garner proper legal advice before deciding anything as Wills /POA are a nightmare to wade through to an untrained person.

[Southwesterner]

Re: Where do I begin :S

Hello again.

She doesn't have dementia and understands what is going on around here, but can't communicate it.

The best interests thing is the tricky bit yes. But I fully believe that MIL would definitely want her to be safe and happy but I also understand the losing money thing. I know my wife is willing to pay some rent, but market value rent would be more than our mortgage so she may as well move back to our house and turf out the tenants!

Its now finding the right legal team to speak to. What sort of solicitor would be best to speak to here? Family? Property?

Thanks

[enquirer]

Re: Where do I begin :S

He even pinned my wife to a wall the day before our wedding because he was upset about something else.

This is assault. No wonder she is frightened. Given his history, there is probably more - and much worse - trouble to come unless he is dealt with. As previously suggested, think in terms of an injunction.

So, MIL is compos mentis - I had assumed from the phraseology of your original post that she was not. To what degree can she make her wishes known? You say she 'cannot communicate'. Not at all? This is key.

Is your wife formally using the PoA, or is she sort of stumbling along?

[Southwesterner]

Re: Where do I begin :S

In answer to points brought up.

MIL can hardly say any words, very slurry. But can show emotion etc.
she understands what she is being told and will laugh if something is funny or she is sad etc.

How and where would an injunction be brought out? Who does she contact?

POA was used to gain control of accounts after FIL died and all documents sent to relevant insurances, banks, nursing home. Not really had to used this since, as you say really just stumbling along now.
obviously not aware of the delights that waited for us here!

I think that's it...

[enquirer]

Re: Where do I begin :S

MIL can hardly say any words, very slurry. But can show emotion etc.
she understands what she is being told and will laugh if something is funny or she is sad etc.

If she can indicate her wishes clearly enough to satisfy a solicitor, then consider arranging a visit by a solicitor to clarify MIL's wishes regarding your wife living in the house and so on. You can do this anyway with the PoA, but this would set it in stone and leave no doubt.

Obviously, if she can't (it might be wise to get a written medical opinion to this effect), then you have the PoA and will have to be guided by your conscience and common sense. The BIL could challenge you, but as previously said, that's not easy.

How and where would an injunction be brought out? Who does she contact?

Any decent solicitor can do this for you - just phone up and check. There will be some cost of course, but from what you've said, it will be well worth it. He's got a history of instability and violence, so you can't mess about. It will probably mean an irreversible break with BIL, but that's the way it is.

POA was used to gain control of accounts after FIL died and all documents sent to relevant insurances, banks, nursing home.

OK, so it's fully operative.

Not really had to used this since, as you say really just stumbling along now.
obviously not aware of the delights that waited for us here!

Been there. PoA's are extremely powerful, but carry a lot of responsibility and work. Basically, you're living the other person's life as well as your own.

[Inca]

Re: Where do I begin :S

People with MS are often trapped in a body that won't do as it's told,but it doesn't mean the brain isn't completely active (I should know).Take all the advice you can from here,,the Beagles know what they are talking about ,I just wanted clarification re MIL's 'compos mentis' state
Good Luck