Will query

[spudsmum]

Can I see my fathers will? My father has been diagnosed recently with vascular dementia and is losing mental capacity rapidly. My brother has refused to allow a POA until I mentioned he had £4000 plus in his account. My brother has now applied for POA with me as replacement. I wanted joint as I live 10 minutes away and he is at least 1 hour away.
My brother has refused and informed my dad this is how it has to be. I am gutted for my dad as he does not realise that I can give no help if he is rushed to hospital, or needs my help with his bank.
Does anyone know if I can see my fathers will as I feel also my brother will have bullied him with this. My brother was my mothers exec on her will and did not operate her will and has refused to even allow me to see it! I want the best for my dad ultimately however this has caused a massive rift with my brother and I have now told my husband he is not welcome ever! I have 3 kids who adore my Dad and I shall continue to take them to visit....can my brother stop this because he has POA?
In such a state so apologise if this seems a pathetic post.....

[Hurricane Puffrose]

Re: Will query

firstly its not pathetic. you love your dad, its natural.

secondly, as far as i am aware, your brother can only do things like speak to the council, pay bills etc. POA does NOT allow him to say who can and cannot see your dad. As to his will, again this is to the best of my knowlegde, he has no right to stop you seeing it as long as you have your dad's approval. he cannot change any aspect of it.

Dementia is a horrible thing and its hell on earth to watch someone you love with it, may I suggest a word with your doctor about getting you someone to talk to away from the family. Everyone needs a break hun, its no reflection on you or your love for your dad. Everything your feeling is totally natural and you wouldnt be a human being, let alone a loving daughter, if you didnt feel this way.

Legally, I'm not 100% sure so will ask someone to have a look for you, but on a personal me to you level, if you need to talk ever and dont want to let anyone else know, drop me a PM hun. its the best thing about this place, there is always someone on the other side of a screen.

much much love

P

[Hurricane Puffrose]

Re: Will query

Bumped for legal advice.

[spudsmum]

Re: Will query

Thank you really worried and just want to be prepared. Applying for POA is ridiculous as I live 10 mins away and see him/speak to him loads....my brother calls once a week and comes up once in a blue moon.....I do not want to deal with my brother at all now and shall pass the reigns over very soon. When Dad falls in the early hours he can have the call now not me....
Want to clarify where I stand really and what can and cannot be done etc....

[Sapphire]

Re: Will query

Have a read of this http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Governme...city/DG_185921 it might help you a bit, in the meantime I hope someone else will pop along and give a hand.
I think a joint POA would be wise and you should demand it, plus I doubt that a will can be read until the proper time.

[gaz2006]

Re: Will query

i think you can object to your brothers sole poa but you need legal advice and an agreement would be best between 2 of you rather than conflict regards gary

[spudsmum]

Re: Will query

Thank you Gary, I do not really want to go to a legal fight as I cannot afford the fight firstly, my nerves could not take it and my brother's boyfriend is the solicitor who has drawn up the POA papers so feel would b a painful battle that I would lose...... Really want to know where I stand for POA so that I can at least fight fairly on what I can and cannot do etc... Thank you for your support x

[bluebottle]

Re: Will query

The Court of Protection might have issues with there being only one attorney on an RPOA. The following link is that of the Office of the Public Guardian, which is part of the Ministry of Justice. They will be able to advise you on POA matters.

www.justice.gov.uk/about/opg