Britain failing it's elderly

[Monzter]

Just seen this article -

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/britain-fai...013526861.html

Full report here from WRVS site -

Ageing across Europe

It says that Britain lags behind other European countries with regards to social interactions a WRVS report has found. They are most likely to feel isolated and more at risk from poverty. The report mentions that LA's have cut funding to groups that are essential to helping older people socialise and feel less isolated. I agree.

However I think that we need to look at this realistically, where are the families of these elderly generations? Many elderly do not want to 'bother' family members or be seen to be a burden to them. I think that in line with improving funding and services from local authorities and charities, we should also be encouraging families to take a more active role in supporting their elderly relatives social needs. Working in care for many years I am saddened by what would appear to be decreased family involvement. I work with people who may receive a phone call from a family member once a month and a visit once every six months if they are lucky. By far the happiest clients I deal with are the ones with good family contact. Many are made to feel like they are only visited or called as a sense of duty, which is unfair. Where's the love and affection for our older relatives gone? I know we all have busy lives, I have one too, but I made sure I called in to see my nan at least every other day and I had a child under 2 on my own and a full time job. I went to see her because I wanted to, not because I felt I had to. She had carers in twice a day as I worked shifts I could not guarantee I'd be there when she needed me, but I didn't think 'Oh well, she's cared for, so I don't need to go'.

I hear time and again at work ' Oh they've just shoved me in here out the way' from clients. By far the most important thing, just in my opinion anyway, for our elderly is family contact. Attending family 'do's' and the like, many I work with are just brought photo's, when with a bit of planning and help from us, that person could have attended and felt a part of it all. People need care and some families cannot provide that care, I get that, but a care assistant, nurse or volunteer will never replace your kids or grandkids faces will it?

Just my opinion on it all, realise some will disagree.

[Sapphire]

Re: Britain failing it's elderly

Couldn't agree with you more Montzer, sadly it seems that the 'oldies' are only good whilst they are able to look after themselves and in some cases are the 'bank of mum and dad'.
When my mum was alive I begged her to move nearer to me, but she just wouldn't leave her home that she'd shared with my dad, so we trudged up and down the A127 to see her, or she came to stay with us, (usually lasted about three months lol).
One thing that makes me laugh is when I talk to people and say that sometimes I think you're better off not to have children, almost always the answer is 'but whose going to look after you when your old', well as these reports are showing, sure as eggs is eggs it won't be the kids will it, so my answer shall be in future 'whoever I decide to pay for that privilege'.

[Bill-K]

Re: Britain failing it's elderly

It's the old line, "Be nice to your kids, because they get to choose your care home eventually," innit ?

I'm in two minds about this (schizophrenic, as ever !!!) - We have a generation who have been ripped off by having their pensions stolen from them, and are then pursued by outfits like Wonga, who cash in on this misery by eventually hounding these good citizens to their deaths - and stealing the equity on their homes in the process.

We have a succession of 'governments' who have removed what little help there was for those who suffered this injustice - and foisted 'Care in the Community' upon us in its place. Sounds SOOOO noble, doesn't it ?

They have basically ripped off our parents and grandparents, then said to US that we have to look after them, because there is no money in the public kitty to do that any more. Where did that money go ? Mr Maxwell ??? Yeah, it went overboard. Thanks for that - and may you enjoy the Hell that I hope you now rot in, guv'nor.

The flipside of this is that the Maxwell attitude seems to have pervaded the whole of society, now. We should NOT be obliged to support our elderly relatives, when they have already paid in advance for that support. But when spivs like Maxwell do what they do, then we follow their lead.

I'm all for 'Care in the Community,' but NOT if it becomes a government 'get-out.'

Those who need care deserve respect. It isn't there.

Those who give care deserve respect. It isn't there.

'Care in the Community' is NOT respect, IMHO. It is a subtle means of taking us back to the Middle Ages, and is NOT the way forward, IMHO.

I guess I differ from you, Monz. But I need to add this. LOVE is not a factor in my argument above. In that respect, I thoroughly agree with you.

What I find so objectionable is the apparent readiness of our governments to 'milk' that love - to their own advantage.

Yours irascibly,

Angry of Cheam.

!!!

XXX

[wales01man]

Re: Britain failing it's elderly

Anothe report stating the bleeding obvious Britain fails everyone except the few for too long those that control and run the country from politicians to banker and CEOs have all come from the same backgoonds brought up to think they are superior to the rest ancient laws still in foece were put in place when society was the rich and the poor we are now in the 21st century times and attitudes have changed but still those low in the pecking order are kept there whereis the justice when a pensioner lives on 150 pound aweek and a banker is paid 20 k for gambling with the money from others pension funds etc until change comes the elderley weak and sick will be failed Time for change?????????

[Hurricane Puffrose]

Re: Britain failing it's elderly

I'm often told I'm one of the "younger" members of the group. But I can clearly remember being taught you carry an elderly persons bags, you give up your seat to the disabled, the elderly or a pregnant woman. My kids are the same, my heart swelled with pride last time we were in Asda when No 1 son approached an elderly lady and said "Please may I carry your tray?".

In my kids school there is more emphasis on how to wrangle more benfits, whos knocking off whos husband and how to get rid of your kids for a few days than there is on good "old fashioned" manners!

Montz, I envy you. I think you have one of the greatest jobs in the world, caring for people who downright deserve love and care. I applied to work with disabled adults, but I couldn't hack the patronizing manner of the staff. One girl with severe mental issues was rocking in her chair and thrashing about, I went over and said what do you need hun? was told She doesnt its all attention.
The girl got "shh shh good girl" and the "carer" carried on sending her texts.

The sooner people realise, life isnt about money, its not about greed or whos got more than whoever else, its about making your life and someone else's life as good as possible, the better.. and the sooner the mam's and dads realise this, the faster we will have a decent society full of decent caring kids..

Sorry if I sound a bit Miss Marple like but.. well thats my opinion.

[wales01man]

Re: Britain failing it's elderly

Well pu puff but you are so right being younger does not mean that basic standards of decency and caring for others is taboo we all need to return to the life where people matter not wealth or possesions as my mum used to say you cant take it with you i still open doors for others but thankyous are rare having a disabled with i still cannot beleive how some people still barge past her and seem to be blind to her god forbid if she becomes wheelchair bound take a look next time you are all out to see how they are ignored

[Monzter]

Re: Britain failing it's elderly

What makes my blood boil is when I see residents come into care where I work from their home, and they bring with them their memories -of raising families, - of fighting in a war, - of working and paying taxes and national insurance and then their kids have to sell their house in order to pay for that care. Some of them never recover if I had £1 for everytime I've heard 'But why must I sell that house? That's for the kids, I paid my taxes and I thought that I'd get free care' I'd be able to pay for their care myself!
Also what gets me though is not the fact that families don't care for their own - let's face it who could afford to these days? Kids are in childcare earlier and earlier as both parents (or the parent in a single parent family) need to work to make ends meet, it's that these people are seemingly abandoned by their family. Just because they are in a home doesn't mean they don't need as much contact from their family and friends as ever. Probably more as there is the old fashioned view that care homes don't like families 'dropping in' and that they have 'visiting times'. At least in my home we don't anyway, anyone is welcome anytime and if it's a meal time, well then we offer a meal. The only time we ask someone to leave if is the person wants them to, or if we are administering personal care and the client has said they would rather have privacy. Still only 4 out of the 14 I care for have a visitor once a week, the rest you are looking at once a month or longer. Many of my clients ask me if I've seen this son or that daughter regularly. I just think that families need to support their elderly relatives a bit more and not just turn up when we ring because they are failing.

Sorry lol rant over.

[Sapphire]

Re: Britain failing it's elderly

The trouble is social mobility, my hubby comes from a massive East End family, they all lived within 2 or 3 streets of each other, then as they grew up they all moved away and are now scattered everywhere, the only time they get together is family do's, ie weddings, funerals and such. My family is smaller and the majority took the £10 ticket to Australia, so I've not seen my family for god knows how long.
At least with the 'foreigners' they have their elderly to live with them until they pass away instead of putting them in homes and doing the dutiful visit once in a while.

[Hurricane Puffrose]

Re: Britain failing it's elderly

im of Irish stock, and the Irish way of thinking is, if you want to be taken care of, take care of someone else.

Gran had her own house but we were there at least 3 times a week, aunts uncles, we saw them all. its sad that people see the elderly as a burden.

[bluebottle]

Re: Britain failing it's elderly

This thread strikes a chord with me. Up until last May, my elderly mother was fiercely independent and living in the house she and my late father bought in 1962. Then, one Tuesday evening in September 2010, she suffered a TIA (mini-stroke) and was admitted to our local teaching hospital. Over the next six months, she had two toes amputated due to diabetes and suffered a major infection which affected her immune system and triggered the slow process of multiple organ failure. After discussing her case with two hospital consultants specialising in care of the elderly, my sister and I had to take the decision to put her into a nursing home where she could be cared for 24/7. It's an awful thing to have to do. The NHS pays for the nursing care, but she has to pay the remainder of the nursing home fees from her pension and other allowances. For a woman who dedicated a lot of her adult life to helping others, it seems sad. I have to agree with the rest of you guys about the way the Government treats elders and, in particular, elders who have, in their younger days, helped fight for the freedoms we enjoy today.