Daughter wants to live with me

[enlerman]

Hi all ,just wondering if someone could advise me ,
I have been separated for 6 yrs ,I ve two daughter 20 and 15 ,my youngest stays with me at weekends and last year she stay with me over the summer holidays, about six weeks ago ,while she was staying the weekend ,she asked if she could come and live with me ,I told I’d have to check to see ,that Monday she texts me asking if I was coming to collected her ,I rang her cousin who is in her 30s ,asking if she would talk to her to see whats was wrong ,I rang back and her cousin told me she had collected her and explained to me that your daughter has had enough of her mother ,my ex has a drink problem and my daughter has asked her to get help ,her mother has refused ,I then called over to see my daughter at her cousin ,she was very upset ,I asked her if see would come with me to her mothers and we would have a chat .she refused at first ,but I persuaded her to go ,went we arrived my daughter wouldn’t say anything ,so explained to her mother the problem ,she them looked towards my daughter and told her to f---k off ,we both got up and left.
we both called once more ,but her mother was very aggressive ,I ve asked my daughter to call and see her mother ,but as of now she hasn’t .I ve asked her mother to give her time.
I wrote to CSA informed them,but they haven’t replied .
Just wondering what I should do and who else should I inform

[teaboy2]

Re: Daughter wants to live with me

Social Services would be a start as they need to know where the child is living and the reason why she is no longer with her legal guardian, they will then probably make you her legal guardian - Though i would also go and see citizen advice too for legal advice on what to do next and they can also sort out CSA too. As you should not have to pay that, it should be the mother paying you now, whilst your daugther is living with you.

Its important you get social services involved though in order for you to get full legal custody, as they will not allow your daugther to go back to live with her mother whilst she has a serious drink problem that is clearly upsetting your daugther. There is also the risk that her mother could claim you are not allowing her to see her daugther when she is the legal guardian which could involve the police. So the sooner social services are involved and legal guardianship is granted to you the better, to be honest.

[enlerman]

Re: Daughter wants to live with me

Thanks Teaboy2,I was hoping to keep social services out of this , as her father ,is it not o.k if my daughter wants to stay with me ,after all she is 15 ,don't think her mother will involved social services or the police,I was going to leave it and just see if they can sort it out them selves

[teaboy2]

Re: Daughter wants to live with me

Am afraid social services need to be informed as to why she is not staying with her mother who is deemed her legal guardian, regardless of the fact your her father. If anything where to happen to her say at school, the school would need to be able to contact her legal guardian and that is the person whom she is registered as living with.

Put it this way, by contacting social services they can grant you legal guardianship of your daugther, which would make her mother powerless (without having to take it to court) in regards to getting your daugther back whether your daugther wanted to stay with you or not. So being legal guardian will stop her mother from forcing her to go back and live at her mothers, which you would be powerless to prevent if you are not granted legal guardianship. Its in your daugthers best interests that social services be involved to be honest, and it will protect you from any claims her mother may or may not make in the future.