cant see my son

[bowsey]

im having problems with access to my son. my son turned 6 in august, me and his mam split up when he was about 1, ive paid maintenence every month since the split and i have had my son on a saturday nite until sunday nite unless im at work ever since, in the past 2 months however my son has started saying he didnt want to stop over, my ex says she doesnt want him to hate her so she wont let him see me if he doesnt want to, however whem my son is with my parents all he says is that hes stopping at mine at the weekend and misses me, then the weekend comes and im not allowed him, she says i can go to hers and see him with her and her boyfriend there but i want access not 15mins supervised by them, when this started she said to me it was because he didnt like his room at mine so its been renovated and he loves it, i couldnt get him out of it the 3 days he has stopped over. my house isnt perfect as theres building work going on at the moment to its a bit off a mess with the tools and im off work with a slipped disc and going in for an operation next week so i understand that these things may affect him wanting to stop however i cant get through to her that i should have access to him. i believe the problem is here because shes to soft with him, she lets him get away with everything so he did this once and she caved and he wont stop, she even lets my son speak like a baby all the time because he wants to even though hes 6yrs od?? my opinion is that he is 6 and will try and get what he wants and this shud be nipped in the bud and sorted soon, her opinion is its up to him what he wants to do


is there anything i can do or do i just have to do what she says and not see him if he doesnt want to see me? i really miss him

any help would be greatly appreciated

p.s
i really dont want to go to court becasue i cant afford it and her familys loaded so i would prob loose, but there seems to be no getting through to her, im at my wits end now

[andy5andy]

Re: cant see my son

im having problems with access to my son. my son turned 6 in august, me and his mam split up when he was about 1, ive paid maintenence every month since the split and i have had my son on a saturday nite until sunday nite unless im at work ever since, in the past 2 months however my son has started saying he didnt want to stop over, my ex says she doesnt want him to hate her so she wont let him see me if he doesnt want to, however whem my son is with my parents all he says is that hes stopping at mine at the weekend and misses me, then the weekend comes and im not allowed him, she says i can go to hers and see him with her and her boyfriend there but i want access not 15mins supervised by them, when this started she said to me it was because he didnt like his room at mine so its been renovated and he loves it, i couldnt get him out of it the 3 days he has stopped over. my house isnt perfect as theres building work going on at the moment to its a bit off a mess with the tools and im off work with a slipped disc and going in for an operation next week so i understand that these things may affect him wanting to stop however i cant get through to her that i should have access to him. i believe the problem is here because shes to soft with him, she lets him get away with everything so he did this once and she caved and he wont stop, she even lets my son speak like a baby all the time because he wants to even though hes 6yrs od?? my opinion is that he is 6 and will try and get what he wants and this shud be nipped in the bud and sorted soon, her opinion is its up to him what he wants to do


is there anything i can do or do i just have to do what she says and not see him if he doesnt want to see me? i really miss him

any help would be greatly appreciated

p.s
i really dont want to go to court becasue i cant afford it and her familys loaded so i would prob loose, but there seems to be no getting through to her, im at my wits end now

Hi
to be honest I find that its best if havent been to court go and get an order this in my opinion will sort out and put into force an agreed contact for you and yiour son.
Its not about the money its about your future contact with your son. Having slipped discs and a house upside dow altho not good, the most important thing is you do not loose contact with your son.

On the other hand your son might be put off by whats going on around you , you just got to reassure him everything will be ok and find lots to do keep busy when he is with you.

Your son is in a difficult situation and im sure he is trying to please both parents and this for a six year old must be worrying so you need to stop and think what he is really goin through.

Get part of the house his room safe and tidy while work is going on mayb get him to help with colours and decoration for the house involve him in all this make him feel special your his dad and all theese things will help him feel more part of your life and show that you appiciate his help.

His mum might be soft and that should be of no concern of yours just give your son all the care and attention you can make it about him when you have contact and you will see a son that truley loves his dad